Attention all Plumbers we need your help!

msg11

There is some sort of pipe in the Gulf of Mexico that needs fixing.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2010/0530/gulf.html

For this position you must meet the following requirements.

> Fully approved discipline in plumbing techniques and technology.
> This position provides full transport to the site of the problem
> Position is most suited to someone/people with positive ideas
> The person will want to succeed and have a positive attitude
> Deep sea diving is seen as an advantage but not necessary
> A hurly stick

Seriously, for a company with a serious amount of cash. What are they doing? First thing that sprung to my mind was , a device similar to a vacuum cleaner that will just suck up water/oil from the leak.

Savage Tyrant

I don't understand why pipes like these arent built with some sort of "shut off valve" every few miles or so. Maybe it's not possible, but it makes sense to me.

Fart

Jahsus that's oilgas.

congo_90

I still dont understand why they can't just pump the oil out via the pipe while fixing the hole with a big steel plate and welding into place.

Fart

congo_90 wrote: »

I still dont understand why they can't just pump the oil out via the pipe while fixing the hole with a big steel plate and welding into place.

I was about to take the piss out of ya.

mikom

Let me get this straight.
The burst pipeline creates an unpleasent mess and costs millions to clean up after. Once it's started, it cannot be stopped.

Anyone got the number of Pavee point?

starbelgrade

Waterworld to the rescue.....

Kevin Costner has devoted 15 years and approximately $24 million dollars into developing a cleanup system that could help oil spills.

The “Kevin Costner Solution” has a unique way of sifting oil spills, which could potentially stop the spill altogether.

BP and the U.S. Coast Guard are planning to test six of his stainless steel centrifugal oil separators next week.

http://thecelebritycafe.com/feature/kevin-costner-could-fix-oil-spill-gulf-mexico-05-22-2010

KevinVonSpiel

msg11 wrote: »

...you must meet the following requirements.

> Fully approved discipline in plumbing techniques and technology.
> This position provides full transport to the site of the problem
> Position is most suited to someone/people with positive ideas
> The person will want to succeed and have a positive attitude
> Deep sea diving is seen as an advantage but not necessary
> A hurly stick

Hold on, is this one of those WPP yokes off FAS?

msg11

It will be very funny when this gets into the food chain, seriously how big a **** up can they make then try to fix it with mud is mind boggling to me anyway

msg11

KevinVonSpiel wrote: »

Hold on, is this one of those WPP yokes off FAS?

If it is, pull a burner .

I made that up in my head

congo_90

Fart wrote: »

I was about to take the piss out of ya.

Sharpshooter

msg11 wrote: »

There is some sort of pipe in the Gulf of Mexico that needs fixing.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2010/0530/gulf.html

. What are they doing? First thing that sprung to my mind was , a device similar to a vacuum cleaner that will just suck up water/oil from the leak.

A mega sheet of Bounty, aka Plenty.

We could soak it up ring it out and be ready for the next spill.

KevinVonSpiel

Sharpshooter wrote: »

A mega sheet of Bounty, aka Plenty.

We could soak it up ring it out and be ready for the next spill.

You shill.

friendface

Sharpshooter wrote: »

A mega sheet of Bounty, aka Plenty.

We could soak it up ring it out and be ready for the next spill.

Juan Sheet (aka One Shit) is your man!

SugarHigh

It's not just a pipe that's leaking it's the entire well.

But don't feel embarrassed for not knowing this, it's not like it's been on the news everyday for the past 6 weeks or anything.

Savage Tyrant

Surely one of Jordan's tampons would soak it up?

Biggins

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

Surely one of Jordan's tampons would soak it up?

Cue the Harney joke...

No - I'm not going there.

Banned Account

I'm a bit non-plussed as to how they can't sort it either. Leaving the depth and freezing water issues aside, it's just a load of oil coming out of a broken pipe - surely we have the technology to plug the thing. Drop a huge friggin' lump of concrete on it and buy yourself some time.

On the other hand, you could forcibly move the native american's off their reserves and into the affected areas, whist declaring that they are welcome to their own independant state. In the meantime, you can claim all the casino's as your own and then declare war on the said new state for destroying the water in the gulf of mexico. Once they have fixed the pipe with large balls made of Cherokee Indian hair, you could invade and intern them all, reclaiming the shrimp fishing rights as your own.

It just might work ...

Biggins

What happened to the idea that they could nuke it like the Russians do?
...Or are the Americans afraid to show that others methods might do these things right?

anniehoo

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

I don't understand why pipes like these arent built with some sort of "shut off valve" every few miles or so. Maybe it's not possible, but it makes sense to me.

I thought there was a shut off valve and a back up valve...but both failed? Could be wrong though but have a vague recollection of reading that.

thebigbiffo

Biggins wrote: »

What happened to the idea that they could nuke it like the Russians do?
...Or are the Americans afraid to show that others methods might do these things right?

those darned long haired hippies would be up in arms

ejmaztec

Whatever happened to the poster with the username "Plug"?

He's yer man.

CreepingDeath

mikom wrote: »

Let me get this straight.
The burst pipeline creates an unpleasent mess and costs millions to clean up after. Once it's started, it cannot be stopped.

Yep, it's a bit like FlutterinBantam in the jax after the "pace car" has left the pits.

Biggins

thebigbiffo wrote: »

those darned long haired hippies would be up in arms

Yea, probably of Russian make too!

brianthebard

Biggins wrote: »

What happened to the idea that they could nuke it like the Russians do?
...Or are the Americans afraid to show that others methods might do these things right?

BP would rather leak oil indefinitely than nuke it and lose it forever.