Feeling lost

LegacyUser

Yes im entering upon another one of these sob stories. Im feeling quite lost and stuck in a rut and I guess its difficult to tell friends and family and stuff as you dont want to keep boring them.
Basically Im 27 and single, have been with a few guys and been through alot of let downs.
I was with a guy for over 4 years, we broke up about 2 years ago, it wasnt hard for me to get over this one really - you would think it would be after a few years together but i cant explain it.
Then i met this wonderful guy, was with him for a year and we went away for a while and when we got back he basically broke up with me and broke my heart. fecked my head around majorly and the thing is I cant get over him. I think about him all the time... we broke up a year ago! crazy as it might seem I dont know whats going on with me.
Any tips at all on how the hell to get over this? I have dated one or two guys since..but cant let myself get to anything serious. I go out with my friends, have fun, have a great job etc...
My life is basically F....'d up as I still love this guy.

Thibor

Don't expect to get over things quickly. Just take things as they come.
It does seem a bit like you've retreated into a protective shell (for want of as better phrase) and are afraid to let anyone else close to you.
It's all about letting go of the previous guy, which, as I said, takes a little time

Snowie

unreg1 wrote: »

Yes im entering upon another one of these sob stories. Im feeling quite lost and stuck in a rut and I guess its difficult to tell friends and family and stuff as you dont want to keep boring them.
Basically Im 27 and single, have been with a few guys and been through alot of let downs.
I was with a guy for over 4 years, we broke up about 2 years ago, it wasnt hard for me to get over this one really - you would think it would be after a few years together but i cant explain it.
Then i met this wonderful guy, was with him for a year and we went away for a while and when we got back he basically broke up with me and broke my heart. fecked my head around majorly and the thing is I cant get over him. I think about him all the time... we broke up a year ago! crazy as it might seem I dont know whats going on with me.
Any tips at all on how the hell to get over this? I have dated one or two guys since..but cant let myself get to anything serious. I go out with my friends, have fun, have a great job etc...
My life is basically F....'d up as I still love this guy.

hey Snap out of it, Its ok to feel like this trying to push it to one side wont let it get any better the best defence is acceptence in this kinda situation and also maybe coming to the realisation that, this person has hurt you.

kjl

unreg1 wrote: »

Yes im entering upon another one of these sob stories. Im feeling quite lost and stuck in a rut and I guess its difficult to tell friends and family and stuff as you dont want to keep boring them.
Basically Im 27 and single, have been with a few guys and been through alot of let downs.
I was with a guy for over 4 years, we broke up about 2 years ago, it wasnt hard for me to get over this one really - you would think it would be after a few years together but i cant explain it.
Then i met this wonderful guy, was with him for a year and we went away for a while and when we got back he basically broke up with me and broke my heart. fecked my head around majorly and the thing is I cant get over him. I think about him all the time... we broke up a year ago! crazy as it might seem I dont know whats going on with me.
Any tips at all on how the hell to get over this? I have dated one or two guys since..but cant let myself get to anything serious. I go out with my friends, have fun, have a great job etc...
My life is basically F....'d up as I still love this guy.

Well there are different levels of attraction. The guy you were with for 4 years the relationship probably ran in course, and the end was more of a relief for you. Where as the guy who you only were with for a year it felt more sudden.

It's not a crime to still be in love with your ex, but you have to ask yourself is it worth all the hassle you are putting yourself through. Lets say this guy rings you up tomorrow and says he has seen the error of his ways and wants to be with you again, do you really think you could forgive him for hurting you and more on? Do you think it would make for a great relationship? The answer is no, you will never have the same kind of relationship with him again. It's over now, and the reason you feel so shi$%y about it is because you didn't really get closure.

I think you need to let go already, it's been a year. You don't need this hassel in your life, and from the sounds of it, neither do your friends and family. It's just silly to keep holding on to this hurt.

jessiejam

Probably be slaughtered for suggesting this but, wouldn't you get onto him and see how he is or feels, at least you will know then that there is no way back and it might help to give you closure?
Did he give you the impression that there may be a chance that ye might get back together at some stage?
I was in a similar position a few years back. I was the one who broke up with him. I missed my ex so I got back with him only to discover I wasn't into it at all nor was he and we remain friends to this day.