i dont want to lose her but can i trust her

LegacyUser

Okay i love my girlfriend more than life itself. She is the most perfect and beautiful person in this world, and i would do anything for her. But heres the problem. I dont know if i can trust her.

I trust her with my life and everything in it. Passwords, pin numbers, cell phone. I have no secrets from this girl at all, nothing to hide. I have never cheated on her and wouldnt even bother to want to look at another woman.

She thinks i dont trust her because, i tell her that i dont want to lose her. Because when strange men send her messages on networking sites i get freaked, and she doesnt really like when i freak out about this. But i do. The messages from other guys are flirtatous as you can imagine. I try hard to ignore these, but there is something i am more worried about.

(Just to add, my girlfriend is Italian, and she has given me all her passwords.)

In her email account she is mailing some dude in Italy, in Italian. Now curiousity got the better of me, and i read her emails. I know i shouldnt but, i worry and this is my excuse.

I asked about the guy who emailed her and she said its just a friend. But i feel there is more

Some of the words used are worrying to me "baby, kisses" you know the usual. Now my girl is planning to see family in a few months in Italy and in her email to this other dude, she says it will be nice if they could meet up.

Okay maybe its harmless but i always think the worst and right now i am thinking the worst

Should i confront her or say nothing or how should i play this? It would break my heart to lose this girl to someone else. And i dont want to imagine their "meet up"

Any advice would be warmly welcomed.

unattendedbag

There must be an element of trust in all relationships. You are feeling paranoid now because you love her so much and are just imagining the pain of losing her and her cheating on you. Sure, it would hurt you but have u stopped to consider that all this worrying and obsessing about her cheating might drive her to cheat on you.

I decided when I first started going out with my OH that I would give her 100% trust. Im not gonna worry if she's cheating or flirting with other guys because i honestly know she wouldnt do such a thing due to her own conscience. If she breaks the trust thenwe'll take things from there. I suggest you try and do the same. If hypothectically one day she does confess you to you that she cheated or god forbid u accidentally caught her in the act, then and only then can u decide whether you would move on or forgive her or give her one more chance, etc... Bottom line is dont look for something that's not there coz it'll lead to something bad.

Swapping passwords/pin numbers etc, is never a good idea, even with the other half. It may seem sweet at first that you's are being totally open and having no secrets but then all this element of doubt is starting to creep in like what you have now. "I wonder who she's emailing" "She better not be trying to hide things from me" etc.. Let her go on her trip to Italy and have a great time and don't pass one second of thought if she's cheating on you. If she does come back and confess she cheated then i guess you know yourself that u gave her a chance and she broke the trust.

kjl

OP, they problem here is that you are insecure. In your head you are probably asking why someone this great would be with you. The answer is she is, she has chosen you, so now don't mess it up.

Just give her 100% trust until she gives you a reason not to, if she said its a friend them trust her and let it go. My female friends say baby and kisses too, its no big deal.

Be aware that acting like this will end up breaking up the relationship, so the thing you are most worried about, losing her, will actually happen unless you trust her.