Public self gratification

InkSlinger67

At what point does a simple arse scratch become self gratification? For years I've seen local council workers and the like standing around where actual work was occuring and savouring the moment by, what can only be described as, anal heavy petting.

I'm guilty of doing this the odd time myself after missing a shower but nowhere near the extent of your typical civil corporation worker. I had the displeasure of having a front row seat for a middle aged man anally masturbating himself in between shovels from my local bus stop today. Not something you really want to see while carrying a hangover. He was REALLY enjoying it!

So, in public, where would you say is the line between getting rid of a pesky itch discreetly and making baby jesus cry? I should think what I seen today as being completely OTT. The guy went "gloves off" so to speak and breached his over-sized britches!!!! :(

*Drinks to forget*

Biggins

Ok. This place is turning into the Twilight Zone tonight!

CreepingDeath

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

At what point does a simple arse scratch become self gratification?

Hand outside the trousers = scratch.
Hand inside the trousers = anal exam

Biggins

Where it is something you know you have to cover-up, you know then that its wrong for public consumption obviously.
/thread.

InkSlinger67

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Hand outside the trousers = scratch.
Hand inside the trousers = anal exam

What about hand outside the trousers for a "longer than normal" time to scratch?

This is what troubles my mind at 9pm on a Friday night!

Kasabian

Biggins wrote: »

Ok. This place is turning into the Twilight Zone tonight!

Watch the Eurovision sir:pac:

wyndham

Maybe he has worms.

Biggins

Kasabian wrote: »

Watch the Eurovision sir:pac:

Naa. Lordi won't be on it. At least then it was the Rocky Horror show for a few minutes.
Now its back to a singing horror show! :pac:

starbelgrade

I thought this thread was gonna be about **** in public.

Glenster

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

So, in public, where would you say is the line between getting rid of a pesky itch discreetly and making baby jesus cry?

What is this witch hunt?

SeaFields

Ya always knew in school if the teacher was a heavy ass scratcher because of the big chalk marks in between their arse cheeks. :eek:

tony1kenobi

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

where would you say is the line between getting rid of a pesky itch discreetly and making baby jesus cry?

A big black rubber fist.

FlutterinBantam

Fcuker probably had tape worms.

These shaggers get 'active' in the heat and start stirring in the area of the bronze tea towel holder.

Can get get a bit 'worked up' if the host is not too fastidious in nipsy cleaning.

Any clag or loose tag nuts in the area brings them down,so if you don't want to have your paw permanently addressing an unseemly itch in the badge, clean your hole properly,bidet if possible.

Those tapies are cnuntish hard to shift. :mad:

Capt'n Midnight

is there a rule like the three shakes one ?

FlutterinBantam

Yes

If one knee is more than 18 inches from the other it's too much.

Son Of A Vidic

The Bantam is right - sounds like worms O.K. These dirty 8astards have a root for oil and then of course can't resist an oul sniff of the finger when finished. This merely continues the cycle when they continually ingest worm juice.

Lurching

Id say those fellas need serious hot washes and plenty of Vanish!
All I can say is, I hope that guy wasn't wearing white boxers.

Killer Pigeon

Italy's highest appeals court has ruled it is a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public - a judgment that has far-reaching implications for superstitious males.

Anyone who has seen a hearse go past in Italy, or been part of a discussion in which some terrible illness or disaster is mentioned, will know it is traditional for men to ward off ill luck with a quick grab at what are delicately called their attributi.

The practice has become increasingly frowned on, but Io mi tocco i (I touch my) is a common phrase, equivalent to crossing fingers. The judges of the court of cassation suggested those seeking luck should return to the privacy of their homes before letting their hands stray trouserward.

The court was ruling on the appeal of an unnamed 42-year-old workman from Como near Milan. In May 2006, he was convicted of indecent behaviour for "ostentatiously touching his genitals through his clothing". His lawyer said it was merely a "compulsive, involuntarily movement, probably to adjust his overalls".

The third penal division of the Rome court was having none of it. It said that public genital-patting "has to be regarded as contrary to public decency, a concept including that nexus of socio-ethical rules requiring everyone to abstain from conduct potentially offensive to collectively held feelings of decorum".

The judges said such actions risked generating "awkwardness, disgust and disappoval in the average man", unexpectedly perhaps failing to mention the average woman.

The workman was ordered to pay a €200 (£152) fine and €1,000 costs.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/feb/28/italy.internationalcrime

^^^

What an embarrassment if you were caught with this offense.

IM0

the real question is why you kept staring for long enough to notice this

someone starts scratching themselves:

look somewhere else..

it would be different if he nailed the bottom of your jeans/slacks to the ground and asked if you wanted to sniff after he was done.

flanum

i like boobies!:cool:

Biggins

flanum wrote: »

i like boobies!:cool:

You too?
You bold boy! Go stand in the corner and take your hands out of your pockets!

Fulton Crown

me@ucd wrote: »

the real question is why you kept staring for long enough to notice this

someone starts scratching themselves:

look somewhere else..

it would be different if he nailed the bottom of your jeans/slacks to the ground and asked if you wanted to sniff after he was done.

I'm with this man....bodies sweat...bodies are working machines.

If a bloke who is working hard gets a bit o "drift" in the nadsac area..surely a good root with the right index is acceptable ?

I mean if his ear was itchin..he could give it a good fingerin without causin offence.

Whats different about the plums ?

Not great engineerin when you think of it...hangin there collecting all the sweat,gowl juice stale p1ss an bell cheese that the typical bloke produces in a 24 hour period.

And your telling us we can't have a good root to alleviate the "Build up of Gunge" ?

Fark orf.....I abide by the old saying " A tended sac is a clean sac".

makes sense....

magma69

Fulton Crown wrote: »

I'm with this man....bodies sweat...bodies are working machines.

If a bloke who is working hard gets a bit o "drift" in the nadsac area..surely a good root with the right index is acceptable ?

I mean if his ear was itchin..he could give it a good fingerin without causin offence.

Whats different about the plums ?

Not great engineerin when you think of it...hangin there collecting all the sweat,gowl juice stale p1ss an bell cheese that the typical bloke produces in a 24 hour period.

And your telling us we can't have a good root to alleviate the "Build up of Gunge" ?

Fark orf.....I abide by the old saying " A tended sac is a clean sac".

makes sense....

I read the in the voice of Mel Gibson from Braveheart. The only thing missing was the obligatory "FREEEEDOOOOMMM" to top it off.