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Pregnant! how do i tell off/on boyfriend??

  • 28-05-2010 6:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i've been with a guy on and off for the last year or so, i did a test and as i suspected i'm pregnant.
    it wasn't that serious with my BF at the start as he has always said he would move back to live in Poland eventually, but we've grown a lot closer over the last 2 years and i've fallen for him. i only have myself to blame for that... i should have stayed away when i knew he'd be leaving eventually.
    Now i'm pregnant & i'm terrified.. i have so many things racing around in my head, like how i'm gonna tell him, how to tell my parents, i'm not a kid i'm 27 but it'll still be hard, they are old-fashioned (ish)... part of me worries that he'll think i did this to make him stay but i'm soo not ready to have a baby and give up so many things i love... i really don't think i could cope on my own, i can be selfish, lazy, bad with money, like my social life too much etc.etc.
    My biggest fear is his reaction, if it's a bad one it'll break my heart and i'll be left to bring up the baby alone.
    i won't have a termination i had one when i was 20 and am not going thru that ever again.
    anyone out there any advice on how to tell him? anyone ever regret going thru pregnancy as a single mother?
    all advice appreciated i'm a mess at the moment i haven't slept in 3 days...


Comments

  • #2
    ted1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,909 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    you have to tell him. You'll either get lucky and he'll stand by you. Or you'll get lucky and he'll f@@k off and you will know that you havn't wasted a good part of your life. with him.either way you'll have a beautiful child. There is plenty of single parents out there doing great jobs. I know plenty of people when were brought up by a single parent and wouldn't change any thing. As for your parents i'm sure they may be initally shocked but they will come around and love their grand child


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    No one ever asks the question "do you reget keeping your child" because you will be automatically taken out and shot if you say yes. I am a single parent and i love my child dearly and want them to be the happiest, best person they can be but secretly, in my head i often wonder what my life would be like had i chosen not to keep them.
    It changes your life and all i will say is that if you dont want a child, and like your life as is, you will resent your child, it will be awful. i will admit it took me about 3 years to come to terms with being a parent, its good now but thats because it HAS to be, eventually the realisation that your behavior is going to impact your child takes over and you cop on, if you dont your could ruin their life....
    You said you had a termination already, have you ever wondered what it would have been like hadnt? No matter what choice you make, you will always wonder, the only difference if you keep them when you dont want them, its someone elses life your messing with...

    I hope you work things out, the way you describe your relationship does not sound very stable but you can raise a child on your own, just be aware, and dont pretend that its not going to change your 'social life' for a long time and this is a reality. but having a child is wonderful too, waiting to do it with someone you love is easier than doing it alone though.

    Good luck


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