I don't know what I'm doing, but I do it all the time

carrot_flowers

I don't even know if I'm posting this in the right place...but I want to start somewhere. So I need to tell whoever is reading a much shortened version of a story...please, someone. Hear me..

I'm feeling really lost. I got pregnant during a very sad week in Cornwall. Knowing vaguely in the back of my mind that I was, I became very ill from the first day on, throwing up multiple times a day and suffering very severe weakness ect...my husband and I who were not yet married but planning to be, moved (I'm not from Cornwall...long story, ask if curious) to Denmark, where we got married, lived on a couple of frozen islands, and despite having a great time ultimately became homeless due to the lack of a job market there (and my husband not speaking Danish...and me not being able to work..) until someone very generous sent help. Over this period of time we decided to create a backup plan if things didn't work out there. I had always wanted to be here in Ireland, my family heritage is here and I was raised being told about how great and special it is (I agree!) so...that became plan B and since things were going poorly we headed over...

So now we are here. OK, I'm absolutely speechless at the greenery, it's beautiful and seeing as how I'm a very outdoorsy person (who prefers grey weather:)) I'm perfectly contented to be here. However, I am far from at peace in my life. I can tell you a million things that are wrong, from perpetual money issues-my husband is having no luck acquiring work despite bleeding his feet every day-to my tiredness to the fact that no matter where on this globe I live I will be far away from beloved friend and family. I am also insanely afraid, however. I have a surprise child coming to the world this year, and I am not a well person. My Irish family is dead and I know not where to start on finding anyone living in the country as such, so the only person I know here is my husband, and I am unbelievably lonely. I am independent by nature but not to this degree of isolation. I am also not a healthy person, I have lots of health problems and I am so afraid of how difficult it will be taking care of the baby essentially by myself while my husband is hopefully gone at work-and having no moral support or anything nearby. I don't know what to do, but giving up or giving up on my baby never was or will be an option for me because I love it too much.

...but I'm so sad. I guess I just wanted someone to hear (read)...

cbyrd

well congratulations on baby...;)

where abouts in Ireland are you living??

MarkR

Sounds like you could do with someone to talk to. There are a lot of support groups for during, and after pregnancies. Lots of mums in the same boat crying out for someone to talk to.



Try your local health office to see if there is any groups meeting in your area.

Also, congratulations. :-)

crazy cat lady

Lots of us on here are either pregnant or new mammies so you'll get lots of support here if you want it

I moved here from the Uk nearly 5 years ago so I know how hard it is to not know anybody. Where in Irland are you? I'm sure there are people on here who would meet up for coffee etc... myself included! We've had a few meet ups recently too so be sure to try and come to the next one - Theres a post in the newborn and toddlers forum

Moonbeam

Welcome to Ireland:)

Come join our summer picnic.

When is baba due?

Nevyn

Can we please not send or fob off posters to other sites when they are looking for help and support here.

seventyeight

hey carrot_flowers,
congrats on the baby news. myself and my fiancee found out recently that we're expecting so i know how daunting that alone can be - even without bringing money or health worries into the equation.

there are loads of people on here that you can bounce your worries off.

i probably couldn't offer anything more than an opinion or advice but let me know if i can help. in d15 too.

78

January

carrot_flowers, I agree with Moonbeam above, we are organising a summer "teddy bears" picnic over on the newborn & toddlers forum (just above the pregnancy forum on the main parenting forum). It's not only open to mammies and babies, it is also open to daddies, mothers to be and fathers to be. You and your husband should come along, it will be a great day, we haven't got a date organised yet.

On the job front, we're all feeling it at the moment. Hopefully your husband finds something soon, until then, keep your chin up. Things WILL get better.

I am also in Dublin 15 and I have two daughters, PM me if you would like to get chatting We could organise to meet for tea/coffee some day in the Blanchardstown Shopping Centre if you would like

carrot_flowers

Hi everyone;
Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me. I'm in D15, more specifically Castleknock-literally just a couple meters outside the phoenix park gate on Castleknock road. I'd really like to meet people...I don't know, I have always believed that it takes a community to raise a child and I still do. I have this image in my mind of having other parents that I am close with and we give each other advice and our children play together and I always have a spectrum of outside perspectives so I can see points of views other than my own and make better decisions. Lacking this alone is a huge fear of mine with a baby coming. The teddy bear picknic sounds great, I would love to go when a time & place is chosen. In the meantime I would love to meet anyone else in the area with an open heart who loves and is good with children. The spawn is due on Nov 13-was concieved on Feb 5 so just over 4 months along xx

Pinkdust

Hi Carrot flowers..
I just recently moved from Cork to Dublin too... and I dont know anybody but my boyfriend here. I can definately relate to you on the lonely front...especially when there is nothing more you'd rather share with some friends than even chatting about the joy of a little baby!! We moved up here for my Bf's work and im constantly going up and back to Cork simply because my family is there buit i would really love to make a base here before our little one comes in September. We should all plan a day to meet, that picnic sounds fantastic! Going to go check the info on it now
Good luck to you and Congrats too! xx

Nevyn

There are a lot of things going on in both librarys clost to you carrot flowers the one on the Navan road and the Blanch library so getting invovled with some of the conversational groups or readng groups is a good way to start to meet people.

Once you have your baby there are a lot of parent and toddler goups both in the library and in community centres all over the d15 area which you can call into and get to know people there.

carrot_flowers

Pinkdust wrote: »

Hi Carrot flowers..
I just recently moved from Cork to Dublin too... and I dont know anybody but my boyfriend here. I can definately relate to you on the lonely front...especially when there is nothing more you'd rather share with some friends than even chatting about the joy of a little baby!! We moved up here for my Bf's work and im constantly going up and back to Cork simply because my family is there buit i would really love to make a base here before our little one comes in September. We should all plan a day to meet, that picnic sounds fantastic! Going to go check the info on it now
Good luck to you and Congrats too! xx

Hello Pinkdust;

Whereabouts in Dublin are you located? I agree completely that a meet would be excellent. I would be more than happy though to make a friend if you're interested- I'm available pretty much all the time so feel free to write to me if you want to get to know each other. Good luck and congrats to you too! xx

Khannie

Love this thread. So much positivity!

Just wanted to add: There will be mum and baby / breastfeeding support (if you choose it) groups in your locale too for after baby comes. The public health nurse will tell you about them. There will definitely be others in a similar situation to yourself at them.