childish lying manipulative sister

LegacyUser

im 25 and my fiance who im with 6 years is 28- we are together 6 and a half years. living together 5 years, own a home together, no kids and not planning any because we are just not ready.i have a big family. 4 sisters and 4 brothers. i dont see my brothers much, i see one sis every day shes my best friend shes 31 and engaged 12 years with 2 boys who are 8 and 4.

This prob is about my oldest sister Jillian who is 40. she got pregnant early in life married the man who got her preg and is still with him to this day. now has 2 kids.She is a very vindictive woman and i dont know why, She talks about the whole family behind their back, Shes told the whole family she hates my partner because hes a "four eyed freak", but shes nice as pie to his face. She lies to everyone in the family , its not just me.

Here are some of the lies shes told

1. shes told me she has witnessed my partner cheating on me even though the night she "Claims" it happened he was in hospital up in Dublin with appendictis (and she didnt know it because they burst when he was up visiting his parents)

2. She said she couldnt make it to our dads 60th birthday dinner because she had tonsitilis, yet 3 hours later who did my brother meet in a nightclub only her.

3. That our stepmother is a lesbian and tried to get off with her (ew)

4. That all of her sisters partners have made a pass at her at some stage

5. That she was resitting the leaving cert and told us she flew her course and passed when in fact she had dropped out after 3 months.

Then the last month her daughter was making her communion and she organised a big party in her house and gave people TWO DAYS NOTICE! One of my sisters had to work that day (a nurse) and couldnt get cover at 2 days notice, and when she told her she got back "Im done with you, your a cow"

So saturday came, everyone was off, except me. See i was the only person in the family that wasnt invited. Ive no idea why because i was chatting to her the week before and she was happy out but never mentioned it to me, and i hadnt done anything to piss her off.

So saturday night came and i get a long message from her basically calling me a c*** and "how could i not show up" and "i never think of anyone but myself". After texting her back and saying i hadnt been invited i got back "Whatever bitch"

I mean jesus she sounds like a 15 year old! im just looking for some general ideas here, i mean this is so sad , its her way or no way. i dont care about the not being invited part- its the childish acting like ive wronged her part. its so childish and sad.

im thinking should i just cut ties alltogether. i only see her about 5 times a year and thats only for family stuff. and these are normally the times she starts spouting bull.

Beruthiel

Just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you are oblidged to spend time with them.
If this was a friend acting like that you would have cut her out of your life already.

Taltos

Agree with the last poster.

OP - how much better will your life be without a poisonous person like this in it.
You can choose your friends but not your family - but you can choose whether or not to stay in touch with them.

Clearly only one thing is driving her - jealousy.
And after living with it for so long it has twisted her totally - the ones I really pity in all this are not you and the rest of your siblings but her children - gotta wonder what chance they have with her as a role model.

Cheap Thrills!

Well, firstly I hope you changed her name here!

Anyway, just have as little to do with her as possible!

If she is so manipulative and self-involved and prone to lying and twisting the truth, everyone else will be able to see through her so don't worry about her poison mouth!

Just keep your distance and minimise any interaction with her to family things.

gandalf

TBH after number one on your list I would have cut ties with her unless she came crawling with a serious apology.

ncmc

Actually, to me it sounds like she needs professional help. I don't think anyone would spout stories lilke this unless they were mentally unbalanced. Is she like this all the time OP or just some of the time? I would suspect she has some sort of Bi-polar condition or something. Could you and a couple of sisters sit her down and talk calmly to her and see if you could persuade her to see someone?

It's all very well cutting ties with her, but I would actually be really worried about the children here. I can't imagine she acts like this with her family and acts perfectly normal with her children.

However, if you can't talk to her or she won't listen, then I really see no alternative to cutting ties with her. You can't help someone who won't help themselves.

Beruthiel

deadtiger wrote: »

TBH after number one on your list I would have cut ties with her unless she came crawling with a serious apology.

Aye. That was unbelievably vindictive.
To attempt to cause your sister that much hurt and pain means she really couldn't give a toss about her feelings.