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effect of threesomes on a relationship?

  • 27-05-2010 4:26pm
    #1
    nodirectionhome
    Closed Accounts Posts: 54 ✭✭


    sorry wrong section


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    nodirectionhome wrote: »
    He has had a relationship with a girl in the past which involved swinging/threesomes.

    Wonder why that relationship ended....

    Takes a certain mentality / relationship to survive three-somes. I for one know that my jealousy would cause the relationship to self-destruct...

    Think about this long and carefully. And then think some more.
    Next question is - after this "thrill" - what next... careful of the path you are starting down here.


  • #3
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Wanting a 3some in a relationship is a bad thing. I say "bad" cause it can cause alot of problems rather than enjoyment.

    I've seen it happen. One partner wants a 3some.... it usually ends bad. Apart from the jealously and the fact you might not like it... its usually a sign that partner who wants it isnt satisfyied in the relationship.

    Personally, I see "wanting a 3some" as a sign that the relationship wont last.
    I remember a situation that someone I know was in. He was with a girl. She wanted a 3some with another women. She was curious. It never went through tho. Less than two months later she cheated on a him with another man. He later looked back at the relationship and realised she must have cheated on him before too. Too much other red flags.

    So take it out of that.


  • #4
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Taltos wrote: »
    Wonder why that relationship ended....

    Takes a certain mentality / relationship to survive three-somes. I for one know that my jealousy would cause the relationship to self-destruct...

    Think about this long and carefully. And then think some more.
    Next question is - after this "thrill" - what next... careful of the path you are starting down here.
    I think the OP said it was something her partner did in the past.

    Her partners sexual past shouldnt really concern her as long as he has been tested and is clean imo.


  • #5
    whiteblueman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 ✭whiteblueman


    i'd love a 3some with my long term partner but nothing is happening. Yeah it is true to say it is not a good sign for the relationship - but i would want a 3some no matter who I was with...

    In actual fact, I find the idea of having 'vanilla sex' for the rest of my life totally depressing and am completing not sure how anyone can gladly sign up to the that indefinately. The likes who accept those are the ones who order steak in a restuarant every week and never sample something different...


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    whiteblueman wrote: »
    In actual fact, I find the idea of having 'vanilla sex' for the rest of my life totally depressing and am completing not sure how anyone can gladly sign up to the that indefinately. The likes who accept those are the ones who order steak in a restuarant every week and never sample something different...

    sex is not a dinner. your partner is not a steak.


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  • #7
    Denimgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 392 ✭✭Denimgirl


    I don't know how a couple who claim to be inlove with eachother could bring a third party in their bedroom,being intimate with only eachother is what makes it special.I would'nt want another woman touching off of a man i loved I would go crazy! and people who want these thressomes are defo not inlove they should break up and sleep with who they want.


  • #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    whatissex wrote: »
    sex is not a dinner. your partner is not a steak.

    Brilliantly put.


  • #9
    funloving
    Closed Accounts Posts: 396 ✭✭funloving


    I know of a couple that survived a 3 some..2 men and a woman there.
    Both of them wanted it and they felt it was a fantasy that they wanted to live together.
    They love each other so much that nothing can put their relation at risk...they know what they mean to each other,they are lovers,friends,partners and as one.

    if you feel you can't do something like that it's fine,everybody is different but saying who does this isn't in love is something we cannot state for sure..

    jealousy and love are 2 different things and you can be in love without being jealous and the other way round imo.


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    funloving wrote: »

    jealousy and love are 2 different things and you can be in love without being jealous and the other way round imo.

    that's it in a nutshell really.

    coming from someone who is in the lifestyle of swinging, you and your partner need to ask yourself some serious questions. there is a swingers site which provides a list as a means of having a convo about it - it's very good.

    now, the first thing you need to figure out is what kind of threesome? MMF? MFF? would you be comfortable with both? it's not fair for you to expect your partner just to do one type to fulfill your fantasty (assuming you're male and you want an mff).

    also, do you want a soft threesome (no penetration of the third party) or full swap?

    you also need to figure out where you sit on the jealousy issue. would seeing your partner kiss someone else freak you out? react with a stronger orgasm to someone else's touch freak you out? you need to consider these and many more things.

    i will say that if you have the level of emotional maturity necessary to embrace this then go for it. it's fun, exhilirating and takes your sex life to new amazing levels with your partner. be safe though and always make sure your partner is number one.


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