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3 Funnies

  • 27-05-2010 9:15am
    #1
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭


    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

    The President decides to give them a test.

    He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

    The CIA goes in.
    They place animal informants throughout the forest.
    They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
    After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    The FBI goes in.
    After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

    The LAPD goes in.
    They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
    The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

    An old business man to a beautiful young model; would you consider sleeping with me for a million dollars??

    “Hmmm, yes I think I would!!" she says.

    Well he says; how about five dollars then?

    “How dare you!! She says "what sort of girl do you think I am!!”

    He says....we’ve already established that!

    Now we are just fixing the price!!!""

    Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar.

    One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks.

    If I don’t sell more cars this month I’m going to lose my ass.”

    Then he noticed a beautiful girl sitting two stools away.

    Immediately, he apologized for his bad choice of words.

    “That’s okay,” she said,

    “If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my car.”

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



Comments

  • #2
    Ave Sodalis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,555 ✭✭✭Ave Sodalis


    Heehee first one :P


  • #3
    4davis7
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 150 ✭✭4davis7


    Ok this man walks into a bar and then say's "ouch, That kinda hurt"


  • #4
    4davis7
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 150 ✭✭4davis7


    These 3 nuns didn't want to be nuns anymore, so they all decided to go to the high nun and tell her that. So they went and told her that and then the high nun say's "ok. If you do not want to be nuns anymore please commit a sin within the next 24hours and come back and confess, i will releive you of your nunhood"
    24Hours later
    The first nun comes in and the high nun say's "what is your sin?" and the nun replies " I stole candy from a baby" the high nun says "ok you are relieved from your nunhood, go bless yourself with holy water" then the next nun comes in the the high nun says "what was your sin" and the nun replies " I had sex in a supermarket" the high nun is shocked and says " Go bless yourself with some holy water and you will be relieved of your nunhood" so then the last nun comes in and the high nun says "what was your sin" and the nun replies "i pissed in the holy water" :D


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