Living with Family

LegacyUser

I am looking around for an apartment for the next academic year. My brother wants me to rent the spare room in his and his girlfriends apartment. It is a bit of a commute but I would save a lot of money and also it would be good for myself as less partying etc.

Have any of you ever lived with family? Has it ever turned sour?

This is in personal issues so people can post freely without their usernames.

cafecolour

Depends on your relationship with your sibling.

There's two major dangers IMHO:

- People feel more easy to pick on little things with a sibling that they'd let go with a flatmate. You don't always have the same sense of politeness you would with more of a stranger.

- Also that you fall back into childhood relationship/routines too easily.

IE I lived with my younger sister a while back. We lasted 6 months. She asked me about every tiny thing without trying to figure it out herself first - when with flatmates she'd have thought for herself first. I, in turn, became a bit patronizing about everything. And we nitpicked about the most ridiculous things - i.e. if flatmates leave dishes in the sink, you generally ignore them and assume they'll get to them eventually. With a sibling, you're suddenly shouting "are you going to do your dishes?!" as soon as you see them.

I've known people who have done it fine. I'd think about how your relationship with your brother is/was (i.e. were you super competitive as kids? Was one of you in the habit of bossing each other around?), and then have an honest talk with him about concern/pitfalls before moving in. If you both go in with eyes open, you have a better chance of not falling into old routines.