I'm completely lost and don't know where to begin

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

I could really do with some advice. I'm pretty lost and don't know where to begin.

Long story short I come from a poor family. I was the first in my family to get to college. I worked hard to support myself. Made some great friends and enjoyed college life so much. I got a 1st class honours degree and then a 1st class masters degree. I always swore blind against borrowing money and had a variety of part-time jobs as well as a grant to support myself. However for my masters I needed to borrow for one semester as I had a work placement unpaid. I borrowed €5,000 and at the time it was a godsend as it meant I could get through and work hard academically. When I finished my masters I was lucky enough to get a job in my area of expertise. The problems started there however.

I was bullied quite badly in my job. It was entirely stresssful and I became really depressed. This rumbled on for 9 months. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and resigned. The relief at walking out the door seemed worth it at the time. I was miserable. I cleared all of my debt but I had no savings. Now I find myself completely flat broke, applying for anything. I have no entitlment to social welfare and I have a lease with two months left (thank god it is only 2 months!). I know it is entirely my fault for resigning but it was coming for a while and I felt my position in this job was unteneable.

I am 23. And all of those wonderful friends I made in college are now leaving. On July 1st they all head off together to Australia. I honestly feel so left behind. All my life I have wanted to travel but staying in college was such a good source of pride for my family and for me that I felt the masters was the best option. I am literally kicking myself now though. As I cannot afford to eat, let alone make plans to see the world like everyone else I know. My friends all have their flights booked, visas secured and 3000 in the bank. I am happy for them but I feel so isolated and alone. When the ten of them leave, I am pretty much left behind. What worries me the most is that if I cannot find a job or some source of income in the next month, I will not be albe to pay my rent and what scares me is the thought of going home. While I love them dearly, I didnt have the best childhood. Between alcoholism, disability, abuse etc. I just cannot face going home, cap in hand to a family with no money either after 5 years of college. It just seems like I have been making a series of wrong choices and I have no other options left.

I know it seems like I am moaning, believe me I am not. But I am literally losing my mind.
Any constructive advice whatsoever would be much appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

coffee_cake

Hi OP
are you getting rent allowance? Has it been less than 9 weeks since you resigned? You are entitled to job seekers allowance after that.

Getting a 1st in a masters was not a wrong choice it was an excellent achievement, it's just now isn't the best time for jobs, that's not your fault.
Have you tried looking for work only in a related area or in any type of job at all? If you can find something you wouldn't have considered before just to tide you over it would be worth it, minimum wage or anything.

Good luck

,mnb

Firstly well done on getting a 1st at degree and masters level. A 1st is a prized possession you will always have and I envy you greatly.
Maybe think about bringing a claim against your first employer if you had 1 years service and you are within 6 months of resignation. Normally you have to show you brought you complaints to the attention of the employer before leaving but it could be worth it.
Re social welfare, if your doctor certified you as unfit to work due to stress or depression maybe you could get disability benefit. Talk to you social welfare officer.
The bigger picture here that you are not seeing it that
- you have a great degree and masters.
- your first job didnt work out so well. you were bullied. You will be happier in your second job. It was a learning experience.
- you may not be able to pay your next rent. its not great but its not big deal there are people I know who are millions in debt. and they have kids and mortgages and some of them have no job. the worst that can happen is you get evicted and you move back home for a while. it really isnt that bad compared to some people.
- re the travel thing. thats good for your friends. maybe you should join them. but you sound like someone who wants to build a career wants to develop a base here. Travel wont solve all your problems. Some people dont like it. It is hard in some countries to find a job.
Most important - take care of your mental health. Talk to someone. See a doctor and counsellor if it gets too bad. If you protect that the rest will fall into place.

cafecolour

You're 23 and have a masters and have paid off your debt! You've made mostly good choices as far as i can tell! It's a tough economy at the moment, but you'll be fine after the rough patch.

As said above, you can get on the dole after 9 weeks if you've resigned. This can even be waived by the deciding officer, if you say it was affecting your well-being from the bullying, they might well do that.

If you want to see the world, get a TEFL cert (or you might not even need one depending on what your MA is in). Go work in eastern europe/asia/south america/whereever you want. Or just apply for jobs in your field elsewhere in europe.

Eve_Dublin

OP I´ve no practical advice for you because I´m not good with money and don´t know the ins and outs of the social welfare system in Ireland but as the poster above said, you´re 23 and you´ve got a first class honours degree and masters!!! That is just astounding. Really and genuinely. You might take your intelligence and your motivation for granted but that is some achievement to most people who could never do what you´ve done. You´ve gone against all the odds and you´ve achieved something concrete that you will always, always have. No one can take that away from you. Honestly, when I hear about people like you who´ve done so much so young when they probably weren´t encouraged by anyone, I´m genuinely in awe. Really take stock of what you´ve achieved OP and be proud of yourself.

Listen, I know it must be a bummer to not be able to travel right now but coming from someone who did their travelling in their late twenties (financial reason also), you´re better off waiting a few years and maybe heading off somewhere a little more adventurous. Now I know a Summer partying it up in Australia sounds great...but it´s not travelling. It´s an extended holiday. With your qualifications, you´re going to get a good job eventually and then you can pay back your debts, save some money and do some proper travelling. Try your best to see the wood from the trees OP. You´ve achieved and overcome a huge amount in your short life (because 23 is very young although you probably think you´re all grown up like I did back then.) You´ve so much life ahead of you and the best is yet to come.

You must be entitled to some sort of benefits?

dellas1979

Would it be possible to try and apply for a PhD, and apply for some bursaries/sponsorship. It seems that you like the world of academia?

You didnt make the wrong choice. Things are very very tough out there for everyone job and career-wise. The only solution is to keep plugging away until you get that chance - youve got to be in it for the long haul though.

If you think Australia is solution to the problem, I dont think so. While it may be great socially, with your friends, youve no money to finance it. And in all likeliness, they are not going to stay over there as getting jobs there is so hard. Can you move somewhere else and make new friends?

As they say, now is the time to show what you are made of.

Edit: BTW, you are entitled to social welfare. The only thing is that you walked from a job rather than, for example, you were let go. Normally in this case you have to wait 8-10 weeks to make a claim, but there are extenuating circumstances where this can be changed. You need to talk to social welfare again and enforce the point you made above.