One night stand: how to behave afterwards part 2

lillywhite1

Hey. some of you might remember the original thread so I wont go into that again. But here is the story at the moment. I did ask the girl out but did not get a definite answer, well basically she said she had a good time but that was it.

Then a couple of weeks later I bump into her completely out of the blue. She is with some of her friends and I get the impression she is feeling awkward so we ay hi and bye basically.

Then, about half an hour later she texts me and I reply and there are a few more texts.

Next day she texts me again and we have a little more chat, a few texts each.

I had thought before the meeting that she was not interested. Now, I am still thinking she is not interested but am wondering why would she be texting me.

Any comments are welcome.

Beruthiel

Ask her?
Ring her up and ask her if she is interested in a date.

ilovetosing

whatever you do, do not even think about asking her out! She has had her chance so if she wants the prize then you can let her come and get it. That would be my opinion anyway! It could be meaningless, just in need to flirt and boost her confidence so you could be shot down again but whatever you do imo you should NOT ask her out again.

sbsquarepants

ilovetosing wrote: »

whatever you do, do not even think about asking her out! She has had her chance so if she wants the prize then you can let her come and get it. That would be my opinion anyway! It could be meaningless, just in need to flirt and boost her confidence so you could be shot down again but whatever you do imo you should NOT ask her out again.

Ignore the above completely, it's absolutely terrible advice!

Lesson number 1 you need to learn in life - don't play games, they'll only cause problems in the end. She hasn't had her chance or anything like it!
If you like her, ask her out - at worst she can only say no, it might be a little embarrasing, but it won't kill you!
Fortune favours the brave - take a chance and good luck!

ilovetosing

lillywhite1 wrote: »

I did ask the girl out but did not get a definite answer, well basically she said she had a good time but that was it.

Then a couple of weeks later I bump into her completely out of the blue. She is with some of her friends and I get the impression she is feeling awkward so we ay hi and bye basically.

Then, about half an hour later she texts me and I reply and there are a few more texts.

Next day she texts me again and we have a little more chat, a few texts each.

Well the above clearly states he made his feelings clear to her and she brushed him off and when they seen each other again nothing happened so I think my advice is quite sound not something that resembles game playing!

lillywhite1

Thanks for the replies. I think the contrasting naure of the replies reflects my own thoughts.

On the one hand I have asked her out which I thought was the right thing to do at the time and without playing any games about it I think it would seem a bit ott to ask her out again.

On the other hand what have I got to loose but I was kinda worried that she was just using this to boost her own confidence but that is to take a pretty cynical view of the matter.

LegacyUser

to be honest i think it depends on how she responded when you asked her out the first time? did you ring/text/facebook her? and what exactly was her response...you say you didnt get a definite answer, in what sense? i mean did she say an out and out "no" or a "no im busy" or "no im busy but another time maybe", if it was the first two, i'd be inclined to leave her be, but if it was the last, well she could be waiting for you to ask her out again?

lillywhite1

depends wrote: »

to be honest i think it depends on how she responded when you asked her out the first time? did you ring/text/facebook her? and what exactly was her response...you say you didnt get a definite answer, in what sense? i mean did she say an out and out "no" or a "no im busy" or "no im busy but another time maybe", if it was the first two, i'd be inclined to leave her be, but if it was the last, well she could be waiting for you to ask her out again?

Thanks for the reply.

I sent her a message on FB. She did reply but did not say yes or no or maybe. Basically, just ignored the question. I then replied to that by saying that she should let me know if she wants to go out sometime. I was not trying to be cool or aloof or anything like that but I had asked the question which was as much as I could do.

Now I thought that was pretty clear.

I was happy enough to leave it at that and see what happened as I had made myself clear and she knew where I stood.

What I am wondering now, I suppose, is would you text someone who you dont really know, as we had only met once before the most recent bumping into each other, and who had asked you out if you had no interest in them?

These sort of queries must annoy the hell out of people as they are a bit childish but that is the story for the mo.

hightower1

She's keeping the window of oppertunity open.... keeping friendly contact so if she meets you out again it'll be easier for ye to get it on.
Put it this way of she didnt talk to you at all and turned you down when you asked you... THEN on a night out if she was up for another one nighter would it be better for her to have kept comms open lke this or to blank ya? What action would increase her chances?
You guessed it.... keep chatty with you!
Sounds a like a predator this lady of yours............ congrats.

lillywhite1

hightower1 wrote: »

She's keeping the window of oppertunity open.... keeping friendly contact so if she meets you out again it'll be easier for ye to get it on.
Put it this way of she didnt talk to you at all and turned you down when you asked you... THEN on a night out if she was up for another one nighter would it be better for her to have kept comms open lke this or to blank ya? What action would increase her chances?
You guessed it.... keep chatty with you!
Sounds a like a predator this lady of yours............ congrats.

Man, that made me laugh...

I thought I was being cynical by thinking that it was a just an attempt to boost her own confidence but your interpretation leaves that in the shade.

But if you are right and I do not want to have to wonder what the hell is going on then it is time to close down the comm link.

Mmmm... I am kinda hoping that you are wrong though.

LegacyUser

Basically, just ignored the question.

hmm not good im afraid op, ignoring the question= a "nice" way of saying no

I def wouldn't contact her again. I've actually been in a (kind of) similar situation. I went on a date with guy (didnt sleep together), terrible terrible date, never heard from him again until i met him out one night about 3 months later, we said our polite hellos...and then 2 hours later he texts me!! in my case the guy turned out to be the biggest attention seeker i have ever met in my life...he didnt want me but didnt want anyone else to have me either.. there are a lot of headf**ks out there op, i'd stay well clear!

lynsalot

Hang on a minute....

So you had a one night stand with this girl. i'm sorry I didn't read the last thread but is there any possibility she's ashamed? Girls tend to react differently to these things than men. I've done it and felt the awful shame afterwards. I did it with my current boyfriend, a second date stand lol and felt awful afterwards and i didn't want to see him for a couple of days to get my head around it but i'd other stuff goin on too.

So whats the harm in asking her again. Look if u don't know her and she doesn't know u or your friends what have u got to lose? Ask her out!! I know my bf did that he said he just bit the bullet and asked me out i explained how bad i felt about how drunk i'd been and couldn't remember the "event" etc etc and we laughed it up and ended up going out. I just think if pride is all thats in the way give it a go. No one need know if she's not in your circle of friends. You never know she might say yes.

Now if she says no... i'd steer clear unless u fancy a bit of hows ur father every now and again and won't get hurt by it. Up to you but if it was me i'd bite the bullet and go for it. Look at it this way it's wed, if she says no head out friday night and get yourself a new hottie

lillywhite1

lillywhite1 wrote: »

Hey. some of you might remember the original thread so I wont go into that again. But here is the story at the moment. I did ask the girl out but did not get a definite answer, well basically she said she had a good time but that was it.

Then a couple of weeks later I bump into her completely out of the blue. She is with some of her friends and I get the impression she is feeling awkward so we ay hi and bye basically.

Then, about half an hour later she texts me and I reply and there are a few more texts.

Next day she texts me again and we have a little more chat, a few texts each.

I had thought before the meeting that she was not interested. Now, I am still thinking she is not interested but am wondering why would she be texting me.

Any comments are welcome.

I'm surprised no one has said this already but you say she texted you after ye met on the street when she was with friends.

Clearly,the friends asked who is that and said he's hot!
Possibly they may have had a discussion about you and encouraged her to text you aswell.

Take it handy softly softly catchey wormey.

Basically I think you're in there.

lynsalot

Deleted User wrote: »

Take it handy softly softly catchey wormey.

Basically I think you're in there.

Lol love this advice!!!!

lillywhite1

lynsalot wrote: »

Lol love this advice!!!!

I like this advice too!

muinteoir09

What have you go to lose? Text or phone her and just ask her out. Worse-case scenario, she says no.