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To tell or not to tell...

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  • 26-05-2010 2:11am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    So I've recently started seeing this guy (about 4 months) and I'm kind of in a dilemma. The thing is I'm 22 and still a virgin. The guy I'm seeing is younger than me, 20 and I don't know whether to tell him or not. I know he isn't one. He's really nice and I'd like to tell him but I'm kind of mortified about it tbh. I've been kind of unlucky when it comes to finding someone and it just never really happened for me. I was thinking of just not telling him but I presume he'll know anyway?? I don't know what to do!! Sorry if this sounds a bit stupid, I just wanted to get some advice cause the more I think about it, the more bloody nervous I get about telling/not telling him....


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    #2
    pookie82
    Registered Users Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭pookie82


    Tell him. You don't want your first time to be with a guy who has no idea you're a virgin, regardless of the "romance" aspect. He may need to take it easier than usual. The worst thing you could do is not tell him, and have him think (if it's painful) that he's doing something wrong or you're just not enjoying it.

    If you're happy to have sex with him I don't see the problem in telling him this.


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    #3
    Trashbat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 489 ✭✭Trashbat


    To be fair, this is actually a major plus for a lot of guys. There certainly is no shame in it and it will probably make him feel really special that you feel comfortable enough with him to share that level of intimacy.


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Yup if you want to have sex with him then tell him, as above "He may need to take it easier than usual." if hes waited 4 months to have sex with you then hes hardly gona freak out/be bothered that you're a virgin. also theres a chance you could bleed first time*, so he might find out anyway, (i think he'd rather know before sex than during :/ seeing blood down there might freak him out slightly :/) might be better to prepare him just in case...

    *obviously not the case for every woman

    also you're only 22 (hardly the 40 yr old virgin), theres absolutely no need to be mortified


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    #5
    ziedth
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 9,081 Mod ✭✭✭✭ziedth


    Ya OP.

    It's one of those strange things that it's great to hear but awful to say for a guy.

    Best to look at it like if it's going to be a problem for him do you really wanna sleep with him? I'm sure it will be fine though.

    Good luck!


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    #6
    newtoboards
    Registered Users Posts: 418 ✭✭newtoboards


    It's not at all embarrassing being a virgin. Don't be in any rush to loose it, you only get to do it once so telling him will give ye both a chance to prepare for it so to speak. It is a big plus for a guy for definite but one thing I found was it's not all that brilliant with someone new, virgin or not, so don't expect the best night of your life and it may be a little uncomfortable too. Don't just sleep with him to get it over with either, caring about each other helps the situation :-)
    I remember I thought I was that last virgin in the world before I slept with someone for the first time and surprisingly enough i've since found out that it was his first time too even with all his talk of all the women he'd bedded before me. Also be sure you're in the mood if you know what I mean as it will make things easier and finally take precautions by asking that he use a condom and perhaps get the pill if you're not already on it.


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