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Internet dating: steps and rules and maybe I have problems?

  • 25-05-2010 11:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, guys, need some advice over this.

    Met a guy on a dating web site. After two weeks of mailing, we had a cup of coffee.

    He's not the usual type I fall for. But he's OK.

    He has some facial features that I found hard to accept at this moment (teeth are no good and he smokes). He has some facial features that I found very attractive (beautiful blue eyes and tall).

    He seems to be nice. But again, I feel nothing.

    I agree the second date because I think it may worth to try because I know I was too picky and always went for wrong men ended up I got hurt.

    Maybe my question is: is it OK to agree on a second date even if I feel nothing for him at this moment? I am still chatting with other people on the dating sites and I dont mind he does this too. I saw him online actually but we did not say hi.

    Usually, when I saw a guy, I know whether I would like him or not. For this guy, I just dont have a clue. I feel I dont like him. But seem there is a potentials. Seems that he has good quality there. I feel I am using my brain now instead of feelings. But love/romance should not be analysed like this, should it?!??? I feel now I am seeing him as a 'subject', analysis him with 'pros' and 'cons'. I feel this is strange.

    How many dates do I need to have to know clearly about my feelings towards the other person?

    Anyone any comments?


Comments

  • #2
    6th
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    If after the second date theres no spark I say let it go. I mean you did the decent thing and went for a second date to give it a chance which is more than most would. Be straight with him. He might really appreciate it but theres always the chance he will behave like a spoilt child and get defensive etc.


  • #3
    Uriel.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,062 ✭✭✭Uriel.


    Well, I guess one should never judge a book by it's cover. Having said that, generally I would know after half an hour if I could be physically attracted to a girl but I'll usually give it a few meet ups for her personality to win me over.

    In the past I've met girls I'm not physically attrActed to at first but after spending much more time with them I've found then to be totally amazing, seeing things I didn't see at first and forgetting things (negative) that I did see, one such girl I fell for in a massive way some 4 months later.

    Only you can really know, but I generally am willing to give it a few dates before I make up my mind, depending of corse on personality


  • #4
    lillywhite1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 62 ✭✭lillywhite1


    Well, I think it is fair to go on at least one more date and if at tht point you think it is not going to develop into something then you can just be honest at that point.

    There is also no harm in my view of using your brain a little in these matters as very often our feelings can be a bit deceptive. Though, if you dont fancy someone after two dates then no amount of rationalisation will change that.


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