Does a parent's age have an impact?

LizT

This is a topic that came up in a discussion recently with some friends. How old do you think someone has to be for them to be too old to be a parent?

For example my parent were quite old when they had me and my siblings. My dad was 57 when I was born and 59 when my brother was born and my mam was 40 when she had me and 42 when she had my brother. I was dicussing this with a friend whose parents were in the very early twenties when they had him and he is of the opinion that no one over 40 should be allowed to have a child. Another one of my friends whose mother had he when she we 18 said that older parents are better for financial matters (i.e That they usually have savings, stable careers etc) but not for emotional matters. To be honest, I think this is complete BS as I always felt loved and secure when I was growing up.

So what do you think - does a parent's age dictate what type of parent they are? Do you think some people shouldn't have children after a certain age?

Scarydoll

I don't think it matters once the child is loved and well cared for.

Superbus

From my experience, as someone whose parents were older, I think that older parents would actually be better emotionally, more experienced and wise, hence more experience and wisdom to impart.

Though you could be an awful parent at any age, a great parent at 16 or 60.

Dudess

lizt wrote: »

This is a topic that came up in a discussion recently with some friends. How old do you think someone has to be for them to be too old to be a parent?

IMO, when death from old age - of both parents - is a likelihood before the child is old enough to fend for themselves (school leaving age at the very earliest). And that's obviously an extremely rare one.

For example my parent were quite old when they had me and my siblings. My dad was 57 when I was born and 59 when my brother was born and my mam was 40 when she had me and 42 when she had my brother. I was dicussing this with a friend whose parents were in the very early twenties when they had him and he is of the opinion that no one over 40 should be allowed to have a child. Another one of my friends whose mother had he when she we 18 said that older parents are better for financial matters (i.e That they usually have savings, stable careers etc) but not for emotional matters.

LOL
What did they back up these expert opinions with? Especially to someone who was born to a father/mother in their 50s/40s respectively...

LizT

Superbus wrote: »

From my experience, as someone whose parents were older, I think that older parents would actually be better emotionally, more experienced and wise, hence more experience and wisdom to impart.

Though you could be an awful parent at any age, a great parent at 16 or 60.

That's what I think too. I suppose my friend was coming at it from the point of view that she's very close to her mother, they're more like friends. She hasn't had a great upbringing though.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I think that it doesn't matter what age you have a child at (within reason), but it definately has a huge impact...

Kasabian

lizt wrote: »

This is a topic that came up in a discussion recently with some friends. How old do you think someone has to be for them to be too old to be a parent?

For example my parent were quite old when they had me and my siblings. My dad was 57 when I was born and 59 when my brother was born and my mam was 40 when she had me and 42 when she had my brother. I was dicussing this with a friend whose parents were in the very early twenties when they had him and he is of the opinion that no one over 40 should be allowed to have a child. Another one of my friends whose mother had he when she we 18 said that older parents are better for financial matters (i.e That they usually have savings, stable careers etc) but not for emotional matters. To be honest, I think this is complete BS as I always felt loved and secure when I was growing up.

So what do you think - does a parent's age dictate what type of parent they are? Do you think some people shouldn't have children after a certain age?

Fair play to Dad for pulling a young one .:pac:

mikom

Kasabian wrote: »

Fair play to Dad for pulling a young one .:pac:

Cashback.

LizT

Dudess wrote: »

IMO, when death from old age - of both parents - is a likelihood before the child is old enough to fend for themselves (school leaving age at the very earliest). And that's obviously an extremely rare one.

LOL
What did they back up these expert opinions with? Especially to someone who was born to a father/mother in their 50s/40s respectively...

Well to be honest I was actually quite offended because I definitely think that I was raised better than them from some of the stories they have told!

They said that a younger parent is more involved with the child because they can run around after them and keep up with them. When my friend launched into the big rant another of my friends was nudging him like "shut up! Shut up!" and then he looked at me and said no offense or anything...

I just replied that if everyone took his view, I wouldn't be here today and what a terrible loss that would be

Kasabian

mikom wrote: »

Cashback.

?

Lillylilly

Most people would imagine older people to suffer with ill health, so would be unable to keep up with a toddler running around.
Although people at any age can be unfit, and not able to keep up with young'uns!
My folks were 20 when when they had my eldest brother and 33 when they had my youngest brother. I love the fact that they're only in their fifties now, and can enjoy seeing us set up our adult lives while actively enjoying their own!

PK2008

It depends.....





...everything 'depends'!!!!

3hn2givr7mx1sc

My Ma and Da were both 40 when I was born, I'm as happy as Larry.:D

LizT

Lillylilly wrote: »

Most people would imagine older people to suffer with ill health, so would be unable to keep up with a toddler running around.
Although people at any age can be unfit, and not able to keep up with young'uns!
My folks were 20 when when they had my eldest brother and 33 when they had my youngest brother. I love the fact that they're only in their fifties now, and can enjoy seeing us set up our adult lives while actively enjoying their own!

Yeah I think that is one disadvantage to having older parents. My dad is 77 now and I'm only 20 so it's hard to know if he will be around if I ever get married, have kids etc. But having said that he could have been killed in a freak accident or anything no matter what age he was when he had me so I'm lucky that I still have him.

LizT

Craig Ashy Hog wrote: »

I think that it doesn't matter what age you have a child at (within reason), but it definately has a huge impact...

What impact do you think it has?

CrazyRabbit

lizt wrote: »

My dad was 57 when I was born and 59 when my brother was born and my mam was 40 when she had me and 42 when she had my brother.

Your dad is lucky...I got a arrested for trying to chat up a girl 17 years younger than me. Damn 5 year olds can't keep their mouth shut.

amanda_W

My Mam had my eldest brother when she was 22 and my Dad was 25. She had 6 kids between the age of 22 and 40. The last being when she was 40. I was born second last. I dont think there is a difference in our up bringing.

Parents can be good or bad parents regardless of age.

Gary4279

lizt wrote: »

This is a topic that came up in a discussion recently with some friends. How old do you think someone has to be for them to be too old to be a parent?

For example my parent were quite old when they had me and my siblings. My dad was 57 when I was born and 59 when my brother was born and my mam was 40 when she had me and 42 when she had my brother. I was dicussing this with a friend whose parents were in the very early twenties when they had him and he is of the opinion that no one over 40 should be allowed to have a child. Another one of my friends whose mother had he when she we 18 said that older parents are better for financial matters (i.e That they usually have savings, stable careers etc) but not for emotional matters. To be honest, I think this is complete BS as I always felt loved and secure when I was growing up.

So what do you think - does a parent's age dictate what type of parent they are? Do you think some people shouldn't have children after a certain age?

Fair play to your dad for baggin' (banging) a younger chick!

stovelid

Dudess wrote: »

IMO, when death from old age - of both parents - is a likelihood before the child is old enough to fend for themselves (school leaving age at the very earliest).
.

This.

I am an 'older' father (at 37) and there are benefits and drawbacks about being a young or older parent. Now that I am a parent, I'd like to be around for as long as possible, but I'm also glad that I had my teens, twenties and a lot of my thirties to do my own thing.

Each choice entails a sacrifice of some sort, I guess. I'm not sure if age makes you a better parent. I think it did for me because I'm glad I had my own life when I was younger, but I think people can be ready for kids at different times, or indeed, not ready at all.

A lot of people will end up revising their views when they themselves (or if they) decide to gave kids which is natural. The OP's friend might well end up wanting to do more with his life as it unfolds and may end up becoming an 'older' parent himself.

LizT

Gary4279 wrote: »

Fair play to your dad for baggin' (banging) a younger chick!

Fairplay to my mum for bagging a guy with a big salary

And it could have all so easily fallen apart... When they first started dating they were working the same place. My dad came in on the Monday and my mam said she hadn't seen him for a while and was he out partying for the last week and he replied "no my mother died this week" Cue embarrassment from my mother. That story shouldn't be funny but I laugh every time I hear it.:p

stovelid

I once saw a couple of barely-conscious junkies pushing a baby around Dublin city centre at about 10 pm on a cold night before.

In light of stuff like this, it kinda beggars belief that people would ever advocate that middle-aged people or gay couples can't become parents.

Dudess

My uncle was nearly 50 when he became a father for the first time - by the age of 54, a dad of three. He really is wonderful with them and ecstatically happy. The kids keep him young and he makes a big effort to look after himself so he does seem a good bit younger than his years.
He does worry of course about being elderly at an early stage in his children's lives. Also, how it will affect them concerns him (the kids are sharp as tacks so we have to pretend he's 33 :pac:) but he wouldn't have NOT let it happen, and a parent as wonderful as him shouldn't be denied the right to give children a life as great as that of his kids.

Dudess

stovelid wrote: »

I once saw a couple of barely-conscious junkies pushing a baby around Dublin city centre at about 10 pm on a cold night before.

In light of stuff like this, it kinda beggars belief that people would ever advocate that middle-aged people or gay couples can't become parents.

Or cases like Peter Connelly and that little boy in the States on the thread yesterday... :mad:

Kasabian

My Mom and Dad are great grandparents at 60 and 59 respectively

Superbus

Kasabian wrote: »

My Mom and Dad are great grandparents at 60 and 59 respectively

And the smiley face dictates that that is fine, and all is good.

sam34

my mother was 46 when she had me, she had the first of her kids at 28 (i'm the youngest of 8)

my father was 44 when i was born

i never found their age to be an issue, tbh, and dont think i had any worse an upbringing than my older siblings

starbelgrade

As long as your parents never tell you that you were an accident, then it doesn't matter what age they are.