Was I right in this situation?

LegacyUser

Hello, regular boardsie going unreg' for this one.

Basically there is a girl who I think is making an idiot out of me. A couple of weeks she told me on a night out when she was quite drunk that she cant stop thinking about me etc etc. She is going out with someone already and thought nothing of it really. She was been flirting with me for a couple of weeks, texting me im I going out and stuff. I think its a classic nice guy vs asshole situation, she always says im so nice and she always tells me her problems about her bf, saying he doesn't care about her and all that. I was kissing a girl a week or two ago and she told me that she was mad jealous!

Anyways I asked her what does she think of me, she said that she really likes me and I said the same, so I suggested breaking up with him. She got really defensive and said she cant and walked off. I don't want to talk to her again because I think shes making me out to be the bad guy. I am wrong to react this way? Thanks.

MJ23

Leave it alone dude, see what happens in a few months. From what i've seen over the years, when someone breaks up with someone for someone else, it never works, and there can be a bit of jealousy and tension there too if yer man knows this is going on. He's not just going to leave it alone. Plus she might be one of the ones who'll love all the attention from it, and then drop you like she did the other fella.

LegacyUser

If this girl liked you then she wouldn't be leading you on like that. Sounds like to me she just wants you to listen to her problems and of course a bit of flirting to boost her self confidence, seeing as her bf is such an a hole to her. I would stay well away, saying you are nice and she likes you means nothing. I like a lot of people and think a lot of people are nice, it doesn't mean you want a relationship with them. Really I think she is leading you on and only thinking about herself and not you. Imagine if you were going out with her, she could be out talking to some other fella about the problems ye might have in your relationship and acting the same way she is around you now. I think she is just an attention seeker, you should meet a girl that actually wants to be with you and not just use you like she is doing.

kjl

Just because she thinks you are nice, doesnt mean she is going to break up with her bf, sure as an outsider looking in she may seem unhappy, but I recon she loves him. IMHO you have no right to ask her to break up with her bf.

LittleBook

You're right she is making an idiot out of you. You called her bluff and she ran.

It would be one thing her telling you "you're soooo nice" and expecting you to listen to her problems but the "I can't stop thinking about you" and flirting are selfish and inappropriate.

If she gets flirty with you again or expects you to listen to her whingeing about her boyfriend tell her to get lost.

But "not talking to her again" is definitely the way to go.

santana75

MJ23 wrote: »

Leave it alone dude, see what happens in a few months. From what i've seen over the years, when someone breaks up with someone for someone else, it never works, and there can be a bit of jealousy and tension there too if yer man knows this is going on. He's not just going to leave it alone. Plus she might be one of the ones who'll love all the attention from it, and then drop you like she did the other fella.

+1. Walk away dude. Been there, done that and it doesnt work out. The girl I was seeing did leave her boyfriend and get with me but it was messy to say the least. Found out she was still in contact with the ex, while pretending she wasnt seeing anybody. When I decided to put my feelings aside and take a cold hard look at her I realised she was playing both of us. She was trying to have her cake and eat it. Ask yourself this: If she was your girlfriend and you found out she was carrying on with some other guy the way shes carrying on with you, would you be happy? If they'll do it with you they'll do it to you. Even if she did leave her boyfriend and hook up with you, chances are after a while she'd rip you off aswell. You cant trust people like this. I know you like her and all and its easy for me to say, but cut your losses and and walk away. Girls like this are way too much trouble.

LegacyUser

As the name suggests been there, done that. Walk away mate, had the exact same can't stop thinking about you line. Though in fairness she had the decency to break up with her boyfriend first when I didn't bite after she told me she wasn't sure about staying with him.

Thought it was inappropriate her saying that to me in the first place and was a bit shocked to be honest as I'd just viewed us as friends though if I'm honest I did feel an attraction. When she came out with the whole feelings for me, couldn't stop thinking about me and I was the reason she broke up with him I was even more shocked.

But in the end whatever little fantasy she was having didn't pan out in real life. The minute I took the bait things went south. Only went out on a couple of dates, drop in the ocean compared to how much we'd been in touch as mates. In the end contact just ceased, this was after the last time seeing her hearing all these plans about the two of us going on holidays together, travelling around the world. Confusing doesn't begin to describe it.

In the end sort of glad it ended the way it did before I invested a lot more than she was worth. It did worry me if she had felt like this about me the whole time she was with her boyfriend would I ever be able to fully relax with her, or might I just be the next sucker?

Came to the conclusion that some people just aren't genuine, grass is always greener and they'll never be happy with what they have. They also don't seem to either be aware or give a damn how many heads they wreck along the way in their very selfish pursuit of THEIR happiness.

Avoid like the plague!