confused and desperate

LegacyUser

advanced apologies as this will almost certainly turn into a rant. i recently told a friend that i liked her, she was shocked etc. anyway we kinda ignored it and remained friends, i tried to put my feelings to one side but failed. last week we were parting ways for some time and i knew i would regret it if i didnt tell her how i felt.... so I did. I had a fair idea of what her response would be so in a way i was prepared for it...but there was some confusing stuff in her response. she talked about not being good with feelings, never has been. i still dont really know what she means by that. a couple of things are making it very hard for me to accept her decision. I've been told she likes me, 2 of her friends were shocked that she wouldnt give it a go, they also said she is afraid to get involved with anyone. after we talked her friend said to her about us being a great couple and she considered it, said maybe. now i realise she was probably still in shock but some of these things make it harder to move on knowing that she considered it. now im sure to anyone on the outside of this i probably seem really desperate.
the reason im writing this today is that she is moving away for a year and her flight is today, needless to say im quite upset.
i dont know what im asking here even. am i mad not to be able let it go and get over it or are some of the things that happened a bit odd and can people see why its harder to move on?

please dont be too harsh, im not able for it today

thanks

LegacyUser

Hi OP, Hope you are ok.

I know how you feel, have been there on the unrequited love thing so I feel for you.

Have you maybe thought that because she is heading off today for a year that it is too difficult for her to consider a relationship as she doesn't want it to impact on her year. She may think it would have been unfair getting involved with you and then all of a sudden heading off. I think it is bad timing. But who know what will happen when she returns. Maybe duing her year away she will realise she has feelings for you and then maybe something can come out of it. I know it id hard but it is for ther best, imagine how you would feel if she had started something before she left.

Thinking of you.

legend365

Forget about her.

Shes gone.

She knows how you feel.

Let her chase you when she comes back.

katie99

Poor thing!!

You must let her go.

You did the right thing in letting her know you like her...that took some guts. Okay, she hasn't returned the compliment and she is going away for a year.

You say she was shocked when you told her your feelings for her. What was she shocked about? The fact you told her? Or the fact you have feelings for her?

I would ignore what her friends have said to you about her.

You have placed the ball firmly in her court and if she has any feelings at all for you she will at least send you a card from wherever she is going. When this girl returns it is up to her to contact you.
In the meantime, be patient. See other girls.
Best of luck.

LegacyUser

katie99 wrote: »

You say she was shocked when you told her your feelings for her. What was she shocked about? The fact you told her? Or the fact you have feelings for her?.

she was shocked at both i think, she wouldnt be good with taking compliments or have much confidence in herself so i think she was shocked that someone could feel like that about her

PK2008

I know it doesnt seem like it now but you are lucky she's moving away to be honest OP. It will give you the space to get over her, I would also recommend cutting down on contact as well.

Im sorry but its classic friend zone syndrome. Browse boards and you'll see this debated about extensively. End of the day you gave it a shot, which you should be proud of cos many dont. Now you need to dust yourself off and move on

lillywhite1

At least you let her know and maybe the distance will not be a bad thing for the moment. If there really is something between you then she will contact you. Also, I imagine that she may not have been overly impressed that it took her moving away for you to say something. But, I completely understand as I have done something similiar in the past and although I felt sh** for a while I was glad to have at least made my feelings clear. Nothing happened in the end but it was the right thing to do.

SarahSassy

Somesympathy wrote: »

Have you maybe thought that because she is heading off today for a year that it is too difficult for her to consider a relationship as she doesn't want it to impact on her year. She may think it would have been unfair getting involved with you and then all of a sudden heading off. I think it is bad timing. But who know what will happen when she returns. Maybe duing her year away she will realise she has feelings for you and then maybe something can come out of it. I know it id hard but it is for ther best, imagine how you would feel if she had started something before she left.

Thinking of you.

This is surely the way if friends have told you she likes you. There is no point starting anything a few days before she heads off for a year.