friend or foe?

shoes34

Hi, just saw a thread here on ending a friendship and I am in a similar position - was friends with a girl for about 10 years and she came down to visit me a few months ago and I didn't hear anything from her when she went home, I contacted her a few times and she never replied so in the end I said I take it I have done something to you.

Got a reply from her then saying she felt that the weekend she came to visit me I was snappy and gave her the impression I didn't want her there. Now I don't think that happened at all, I took an afternoon off work and made dinner and had everything that she liked in the house, made breakfast the next morning didn't ask her to clean away the dishes nor did she offer and took her out for the day and out for dinner that night - OK I didn't pay but we split the bill. Then friends of mine came in to meet us for drinks and we went out to a late bar.

Next day again dinner and drove her back to the train station and everything seemed OK. A friend of mine came as well and she said that she didn't think anything happened.

So when I got that mail telling me I was snappy etc. I just apologised but said I didn't think i was but if that was how she felt and it took 2 months for her to get in touch and this coming from some one who would be mailing almost everyday on facebook.

Then I got an e-mail saying would hate if we fell out forever.

Now this is not the first time she has done stuff like this if things don't go her way I feel I get the bad end of the friendship. So I haven't replied to her e-mail and that was almost 2 weeks ago. Now this girl is always on facebook and is friends with another friend of mine who tells me she is on it all the time but she is not coming up on my friends on line when I go on line (sorry if this is a ramble and all over the place). It doesn't look like she deleted me as a friend but I do think it is a bit childish. She is 7 years older than me but some times acts like a 7 year old.

Just thinking of cutting all ties with her as really I don't need a friend like that, one who makes me feel I can't say certain things. She also gets upset at the fact that she doesn't have a bf and neither do I but its always about her.

Sorry for the ramble.

shoes34

Hi,

I did Sunflower but couldn't find it when I went back looking and I guess just the whole blanking me on fb thing has happened since, well i guess in one way I didn't reply to her e-mail but just felt that she hurt me by saying that I was horrible and snappy when I know I wasn't and I'm not just saying that. Felt I went out of my way that weekend when she was down and everytime she comes down.

Thanks

LegacyUser

It sounds like you went out of your way to accommodate her, and she's complaining about you being snappy? Don't ditch her outright, just don't bother getting in contact with her anymore. Say hello if she says hello kind of thing. Friendship shouldn't be a chore, and that's what your friendship with this girl is.

And another thing, I'd ignore what happens on Facebook (or any other networking sites). People can easily miscommunicate even when they're face to face, so trying to second guess someone's motives on facebook takes mind reading of herculean proportions. The internet hasn't yet caught up with the complexity of human relations

kjl

Look, she obvioulsy needs a bit of space. Give it to her for a while and check in on her in a month or two. Don't go over the top and end your friendship because of a spout.