Lonely - need people to go out with

LegacyUser

Maybe it is the good weather we've had lately but I have started to feel very lonely and have realised that I don't really have people I can pick up the phone to and arrange to go out. I have different groups that I go out with on arranged nights and they are great and to be honest I'm always the life and soul of the party, but these are normally organised by one common friend in the group and they are not 'my' friend per se so I would feel odd calling up these girls randomly.

I was going out with somone for a couple of months and that broke up recently so I think maybe I miss having a guy to do things with, even if it is just to sit out for a glass of wine in the evening or grab a quick bite to eat, cinema, etc.

I'm in my late 30's so most of my friends at this stage are married with children and they just don't go out. Also, because of the bedtime routien they are mainly not free in the evenings, even to take a call. I don't blame them to be honest as they have other priorities in their life.

Are others in the same boat, and if so what do you do? I might add that I am not working at the moment so I don't have a work group to go out with, and I also have an injury so sports groups are out. I just really wish that on a Saturday night there was a group of girls that I couls meet to go out with and have a laugh and then again maybe the odd night during the week. Any idea's???

LegacyUser

You'd be amazed how many people in their 30's and older are experiencing the same as you.

Try this group if you are based in Dublin. If not explore that site there are loads of different activities and interests people are meeting up .

http://dublin.newandnotsonew.com/about/

katie99

I'm in the same situation. Friends all married with children so I don't see them as often as I used.
It is difficult 'cos, unlike guys, you can't really pop down to your local for a few drinks alone!!
I joined a walking group a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go walking every Sunday morning but I joined a group that were heading off to Wicklow at 11am. The age group was more late 40s and upwards.
I met a few girls around my own age and there were some guys too.
At the end of the walk - about 3pm - one of the guys asked if anybody fancied a pint in the city centre. I joined him and another girl and we had a good chat.
We've since met socially in the city centre on Saturday nights and they are very nice people.
I've also started swimming and have met girls there too.
I know it is difficult to get out there when you feel all alone, but my own self confidence has improved no end from doing it.
I would recommend you try it. What have you got to lose?
Best of luck.

Denimgirl

what area are you in?I'm in same boat, with all mates settled and some live too far away from me it can be difficult to get out with them every weekend.

jenny4385

come visit the ladies lounge

LegacyUser

i feel the exact same i am cracking up with loneliness sometimes i feel like a majjor desperado trying to get ppl to go out with its a bit of nightmare really. More than ever I want a boyfriend just like you said for someone to hang out with. I'm in my late 20s and don't have any friends nearby they are pretty much scattered around the world!
i am really thinking that i have to join some kind of club as really i think going out drinking just doesnt cut it for me anymore.. I seem to be having a lot of problems finding a club to join though. I am pretty brutal at gaa and that seems to be the easiest one to join. And if I join something like kayaking or other water sports which I would be more interested in it seems like firstly it would be very expensive and secondly I would have to make a commitment to it which i couldn't really as i am in the process of job hunting albeit not very successfully! So does anyone have any ideas for clubs that can be casual, fun and a good way to meet people?

LegacyUser

Ive really started to notice over the last few weeks too, its refreshing to here its not just me. Im a 30yo guy in Dublin and Ive realised over the last few weeks that I leave work on Friday and have absolutely nothing to do. It has been mentally draining.
It boils down to low self esteem really that I always am battling(I can come across as anti-socialI think), I just need to bite the bullet and make some positive moves like join a sport/social club and embrace my hunter instinct and ask girl/s out on a date.

Best of luck to everyone in a similar boat.

Uriel.

Join meetup.com and pick 1 or 5 or 100 groups on that that would interest you. You'll be notified of new events as they arise and you can pick and choose which events to go to as it suits your schedule.

You will meet lots of interesting people from different backgrounds and nationalities. You nay find the same people going to each event but equally so you'll always have someone new attending also. Great way to get out and meet people with similar interests

Twee.

The Ladies Lounge here has a Private Meet Up Forum where you can arrange to meet up with and get to know other women. They organise loads of stuff from cocktails to cinema and more.

Firetrap

lonely2 wrote: »

... And if I join something like kayaking or other water sports which I would be more interested in it seems like firstly it would be very expensive and secondly I would have to make a commitment to it which i couldn't really as i am in the process of job hunting albeit not very successfully! So does anyone have any ideas for clubs that can be casual, fun and a good way to meet people?

I did kayaking for a while but was rubbish at it so I gave up. It wasn't too expensive though because the club supplied the all the gear and all you had to pay was a few euros of an evening.

Back on topic, I know where you're coming from OP. I have found though that if you join some sort of club that involves interacting with people, it's a good way of meeting people and gets you out of the house. Especially if the people in the club have a few drinks/coffees afterwards.

G-Money

I should probably look into something like this myself. I'm male in my early 30's and all my mates are settling down and it kind of means less nights out. Actually a friend of mine is getting married this Saturday, so that's another one. And I'm flying solo again

I've got quite into walking recently so perhaps I might look into some sort of walking club or something. I'm not particular sure where they walk and I'm not really fit enough to be hiking up mountains but I guess it would do no harm to research things a bit.

LegacyUser

Firetrap wrote: »

I did kayaking for a while but was rubbish at it so I gave up. It wasn't too expensive though because the club supplied the all the gear and all you had to pay was a few euros of an evening.

Back on topic, I know where you're coming from OP. I have found though that if you join some sort of club that involves interacting with people, it's a good way of meeting people and gets you out of the house. Especially if the people in the club have a few drinks/coffees afterwards.

Do you mind if i ask what clubs you joined that were good?

Birdsong

lonely2 wrote: »

So does anyone have any ideas for clubs that can be casual, fun and a good way to meet people?

I would recommend a running club, it was the best thing I ever did as i was in the same situation 3 years ago. Moved house, didn't know anybody and was looking for something to do in the eveings after work.

Running clubs cater to all levels, no one expects you to be Sonia O'Sullivan on your first night. All the people i have met are so nice, you run for yourself, so if you can't make the club training nights, your not letting down a team. You will keep improving the more you run. All ages in the club too, we have a lady of 70 in our club:)

As well as running on club nights, you can then meet up to go for a longer/ different run on saturays - thats what we do anyway then coffee, cake & gossip:D

Once you have decent runners,shorts & teeshirt your sorted and when you do your first race you'll be smitten cos next time you'll want to do better.

I would count the people i met in the running club among my best friends now.