Friends

hayley33

I am just wondering if it is possible to have real loyal friends these days.

I feel like recently I’ve been let down by what I would have considered close friends. (These are people I know with years) At first I thought it was my fault but I am slowly coming around to the fact that it may not be all my fault based on what family and one other close friend are telling me. I am upset by it because although I am not perfect, I would do or help anyone in their hour of need and I would go that extra mile to help a friend in need but I don’t think it would be reciprocated. Lies have been told about me and the only reason I have for that is because they are jealous or holding a grudge – over what I don’t know!

I don’t want this to be a rant but I just want to ask the question is it possible to find loyal trustful friends who don’t stab you in the back!!

Kevster

hayley, I don't have any close friends right now. They just intrude on my life and invariably one must realise that most people out there would screw you over big time iof they had the chance. Greed is a consequence of mankind, it seems, but there are a select few - like you and I for example - who are selfless and would do anything to help others (even if it is at our own detriment).

Kevin

poisonated

I think it is possible to have loyal friends. That being said, people make mistakes. People realize what they did was wrong. A problem emerges when they keep repeating their mistakes however.

LegacyUser

Yes it is possible unfortunately you have to go through a lot of bad ones as well!
I had and still have friends from school who were/still are really awful and have screwed me over big time! but i also have friends that i've made since then that i know i can trust and actually do want the best for and are not fond of bringing me down with snide remarks or screwing me over by telling lies or causing trouble for me!
Just don't think everyone is like this because although many are not everyone is!And you would be making an unfair assumption of people to assume they are gonna stab you in the back.
But yes i get how your feeling right now unfortunately these 'friends' you had were not great but you can always make more!!

mrsdewinter

Hayley, I think the only person you can rely on in this life is yourself and perhaps your OH. If you're lucky, you'll have supportive family but even brothers, sisters, etc, have commitments/ priorities to their own selves. First of all, it sounds corny but be a friend to yourself - in this instance by easing up on yourself. It sounds like somebody betrayed your trust. All you can do is learn from the experience and next time, only allow truly worthy people into your confidence.

niceoneted

Funny I was just thinking that same thing myself recently.
I went through a very bad phase of depression 5 yrs ago and weeded out few friends in the process.
I have 4 great siblings although one crossed me very badly recently and she seems afraid of me now - I think it is more the truth I speak that she is afraid of as she seems to be living in a fantasy world.
I have recently become more comfortable in my own skin and don't mind being at home days on end on my own. Work is busy so I suppose that helps.
Some friends I have noticed have not rang me at all in ages or called to the house but complain that i have not rang or called to the house. I am single with no kids so I think they see this as I have lots of free time I should make the effort.
I have learned to believe true friendship to be when you meet a friend and it might be for the first time in a year and it is like you saw each other yesterday. no complaints as to who hasn't been in touch with who but an understanding that everyone is busy regardless of whether it is work, family, college or otherwise.
I culled a few friends and while it is strange for a while it is very liberating .