Intervention Service / Expert in Ireland?

Das Kitty

My brother is a heroin addict.

We've known for about 2 years but we're not exactly sure when he first started. He and his girlfriend lost a baby at almost full term 6 years ago and they've never been able to move past it. They've both been at least smoking heroin but I don't know if they've been injecting. They both look like walking skeletons, it's horrific and all I can think of is how my brother used to be when he was a little boy. It's almost as though he's already dead.

They've recently moved in to an area in the city that's known for heroin use and are hanging around with others the same as them so I really get the sense that his time is running out and that it will all be over for at least one of them soon.

We tried an intervention over a year ago but it didn't go very well as both our and her family were there and there seemed to be a lot of blame coming from their family on my brother and from my family (older brothers) on her. Ideally we'd hope that there is some service or expert we could employ or talk to to guide us through the process of an intervention so we could do it properly.

The other problem is that they are never apart, you can never get one or other of them on the phone without the other being next to them, or you can never meet up with one without the other being there too.

I really think that it's the last thing that we can do to make him want to get help, it's still a ridiculously long shot.

Any advice that might help us is welcome.

Thanks

Playing the blame game is a terrible idea when you're dealing with addiction. Addicts of anything use any excuse to continue using; in this case, it sounds like both of them are self-medicating to suppress the pain of their child having died.

Unfortunately, forcing someone into opiate withdrawal is completely counter-productive as it will put them through absolute agony, and they probably will relapse. If your brother doesn't want to become clean, it's not going to happen.

Don't march in with a "you're going to withdraw and that's the end of it" attitude about you. Offer him real help: emotional and psychological. It seems to me that only when he gets these will he even consider giving up.

On the other hand, he might not think he needs help so long as he has opiates.

I've been watching the TV show 'intervention' a bit lately and I can only imagine how scary it must be to see a family member go through that. I've searched for Irish interventionists but came back with nothing, but perhaps you could email one of the resources on the show's website : http://www.aetv.com/intervention/int_learn_more.jsp and ask them if they might be able to refer you to an Irish one.

Does he rely on much support from the family? I think a problem in Ireland is that people are supported so much by the government that it's quite hard for them to hit bottom when they're having a home paid for and their 200 euros a week in the pocket. The basis of an intervention seems to be that you will do anything to help him get better but you won't do anything to help him stay sick which will mean cutting him off completely. This is something you're going to have to accept - it's about creating an artificial bottom from him to hit.

Das Kitty

Thanks Rojo. I haven't seen the programme myself but I heard it mentioned on another programme once. No none of us support them, in fact they're very reluctant to take any sort of "charity" from us even in the form of a takeaway meal or a new coat or something.

We are all in some form of contact with him but he's pushing away from us, he only met my son once since he was born and that was an accidental meeting (I didn't even recognise him he looked so terrible).

Even if there was some sort of alanon group for us, it would be something you know.

Thanks for the bit of extra information on interventions, the one we tried before was a fecking shambles.

Have you checked if there's an al-anon meeting near you? from what I've heard it's a great resource.

If he doesn't rely on family help then there are also other ways to force this bottom. These include ringing his landlord/boss/police etc and letting them know exactly what he is up to. It's all about creating the bottom to hit so that the bottom he eventually hits (death) won't happen. Have you discussed any treatment center etc options with him? Or is he pure against everything and thinks things are great at the moment? Maybe he could even find an NA meeting if you could pester him enough to just attend one so he could see and hear some people who have come through similar addictions.

Another problem is the GF. If one doesn't want to get better I don't think the other will..

I wish you well whatever happens, you seem like a very caring person and he's lucky to have you in his life.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, i feel for you in your situation, it must be very hard. My job involves working with people who are addicted to heroin, and to be honest, interventions don't really work. A person has to reach the conclusion that they need and want to stop using themselves, and they're very unlikely to come to that conclusion by any type of outside intervention. Basically, all you can do is inform him that you care about him and are afraid of losing him. Ask him if he would like to become clean if he had a magic wand, he may not. Heroin is unbelievably addictive and not having it in your life would be incomprehensible to many addicts. But you can tell him that if he would like to come off it, there are supports and it is possible. Advise him to go to a GP or a clinic and get some options, or give him a list of supports available to him. I don't know what part of the country you live in but if you let me know I can give you a list of supports local to him if you'd like. Basically, the concept of being clean would be terrifying, so a big heavy handed intervention is the more than likely the last thing that would help him. All you can do is give him support and information. Also take care of yourself and try not to be too intent on 'saving' him, because unfortunately only he can do that, and if he's not ready or doesn't want to it just won't happen. But in the future he may be ready, and heroin addiction can be successfully overcome, I have met many people who have completely changed their lives, you would never believe how far they have come. He's lucky to have a sister who cares and I'm sure he does know that.

Das Kitty

Thanks guys.

hug! you have given me back some hope. The only other experiences of heroin users I have in my life have never managed to stay clean, I have a cousin who keeps relapsing and last week my best friend's cousin finally gave up his fight and took an overdose (not sure if it was intentional) and died.

My Mam has managed to get an appointment for us with an addictions counselor who can hopefully give us some information and advice so that we don't prop him up on his journey to the bottom.

xxx

iguana

The Rutland Centre in Knocklyon have programmes for family members of addicts that offer intervention advice. You can call them and possibly arrange a private session, they have regular weekly sessions for families or if you can manage with such short notice, they are having a workshop on this Saturday.

http://www.rutlandcentre.ie/alcohol_drug_rehabilitation.php?number=90

Mother Teresa

Hi
can I recommend contacting the family support network. They deal primarily with families dealing with opiate addication, and their website is http://www.fsn.ie/directory_groups/index.html
I know watching someone in addiction is heartbreaking, but these people really are fantastic in helping the families,
Best of luck to you all.

Br4tPr1nc3

id suggest victory outreach,
ive seen them getting alot of addicts clean,
and stay clean. theyre really good if you want to look them up.

Das Kitty

Thanks everyone, I will look into all of these. It looks as though my mother has sold her house (not where she lives) so when he (hopefully) wants help there will be money for a treatment programme.