Dating after mental illness

LegacyUser

Years ago I knew I needed mental help but I dodged it and weaved it. scraped through university apprenticeship not making any lasting friendships, changing house every 6 months etc.
Within in the last year it was brought to my attention and I had to do something about it. I did I went got medication and the quality of life has gotten so much better. I now want everything that is due to me the things I have missed out on, holidays, jobs, car, academic success ........ and a girlfriend. Oh I am 31 and due to the medication I have shed about 6 stone as I no longer panic eat.
I get some nice photos take and go online (so people cant pick up on anxiety), This one girl who I though was cute (well cute for me) went down through my profile and picked out little things like no car, change course and my age and had me labeled and was recommending me medication. "I dont need weak people in my life" "Its not a real illness". Then procees to tell me she is a real hard "B*tch" and "C&*$"(her use of this word shocked me as I always though women hated the word). Told me I was livining in a commune and had me close tears. I ask her how she picked out this information. She said classic symptoms, her father was a Bipolar manic depressive that squandered a fortune.

I have never hurt anyone physically in my life, I have never taken non perscription drugs of any form. What I want to know is there life me afterwards? Is there a chance I can meet someone who wont go through my medicine cabinet and start screaming "He is on bleddin' meds" or will understand I can put my life back the way it should be. Its not like I am slow, (My course is 430 to get onto, involves Maths and Physics).My life is far from perfect now but I am reasonably happy. I was much better off financially 18 months ago but I was desperately miserable. Please no violins, just advice please

gandalf

To be honest you have issues but you have gone out and done something about them and improved your situation. The woman you are talking about seems to have issues that she hasn't dealt with and unfortunately she won't be the last you find like that.

You're best bet is to have confidence in yourself and be true to yourself. You will find someone maybe not through online dating maybe through work or a shared hobby. The most important thing is to like yourself and be confident.

What is the illness? What is the medication?

The girl sounds like a loon. My advice is to stop talking to her. I know first-hand that one of the worst things you can do is become at all attached to someone who believes whatever is wrong with you isn't a real illness.

LegacyUser

OP here again
It was Cipramil, very common antidepressant for Agoraphobia with a General Anxiety Disorder. Its not due to any life event is just down to stress, bad genes and poor coping ability. I was a bit upset today in town and I was running around and my heart was racing and I was going everywhere and nothing was getting done. I so want to go back on my medication, I hated being ignorant ofwhat was going on around me but at least I didnt have to deal with it.

I see. I have had plenty of experience with SSRIs. They are a common medication in the modern world for long-term depression and anxiety, and as such, most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at you being prescribed them. However, anyone who claims that you don't suffer from a real disorder (regardless of its cause) is a moron, and I would suggest not to get involved with someone like that.

cafecolour

I'd agree to ignore her, she seems like a nutjob.

I don't know that anxiety issues would be a dealbreaker at all - they aren't that uncommon these days.

All and all, take things slow though. You've got time to experience the things you want to, if you try and get it all 'now' you're going to just increase your stress levels. You're still learning to deal with anxiety in your 'unmedicated' life at this point as well - the more you successfully deal with it as it comes up, the better you get at dealing with it. Don't give yourself too much at once.

IE for your first holiday, i wouldn't go for an unplanned hitchhiking journey into the jungles of Laos Start with a well-planned weekend relatively close by with the amenities you are used to, then work from there.

Work toward what you want slowly, while improving your anxiety coping skills. 31 is still young. You are going for a 10 year plan here, not a 1 year one.

LegacyUser

cafecolour wrote: »

I don't know that anxiety issues would be a dealbreaker at all - they aren't that uncommon these days.

Very easy to say. One of the side effects is sexual dysfuntion. It isnt just about having an erection, its more than that it is feeling. For me I had a beautiful girlfriend at the time. She was tall and had beautiful lips, physically my dream woman and I felt nothing after medication. There were other issues but when we were together .... well we had great fun . Afterwards we met up as friends we still did all the things we loved like shopping eating etc but I was like dating a zombie. I was much calmer and my language and train of thought made more sense.

I said I was 31 but actually I feel like 21 I only look 25. I had my first (ever) holiday at christmas on my own in New york. I did it all my self I booked it, planned it and got most of the stuff I wanted done. Right now I just want to finish my degree in Engineering. Get a job and a car and everything will fall into place. I want my own place, I live with a couple who are my friends and to say the least despite their own problems have been very good to me.

The hardest part for me was looking for reason why did I do this? I hung out with the nice crowd, didnt do drugs, Dont drink to excess and was never in trouble with the guards,came from a happy home with great parents.
I would just like to thank everyone who replied because there are so few out there who understand.