I want to propose but society would deem it inappropriate

LegacyUser

Is it normal to feel so strongly for someone after 9 months that, if it was my decision, I'd marry her the next day and would love her to be the mother of my children? I honestly would propose to her tomorrow if it wasn't for my age and the fact I'm in college. Shes 4 years older so shes within marrying age but I'm too young (21). Honestly that and the fact that it would probably be extremely weird to propose to someone after 9 months are the only things that are preventing me from proposing. But, I am so sure shes the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I told her last night how I felt and she said its normal to feel that way and that she would love to marry me too one day. But, It cant be normal because I've never felt this way about a girl before and I'm a 21 year old guy in college so marriage should be the furthest thing from my mind. I am just wondering what people's opinions are? Is it strange? Should I maybe relax a little on my feelings? Do you think I come across as a loved up fool who is not being realistic wanting to marry at 21 after just 9 months together?

banquo

First of all, it's totally normal and ok to feel how you feel. The danger is this: because you've ''never felt this way about a woman before'', chances are that this is just the hormones* in you 'blossoming'. At that age it can be very easy-come, easy go. It's normal to be infatuated. But, for the love of God, give it time.

I think every older guy on here would agree with me. We've all been there. Just take it easy

LegacyUser

Seriously relax. What you have now is fine the way it is. Why risk anything to ruin it, time is on ur side. The fact you are even questioning it and wondering are you a love struck fool shows that your not 100% sure. Chill out and enjoy what you have. Relax before things get unneccesarily complicated

Dublinstiofán

Chill out. They are all lovely for the first year. Take your time and get to know her better.

If shes still around when your finished college think about popping the question then.

Cullen82

Slow down man, Nothing wrong with expressing your feelings but I hope you realise getting married is'nt gonna change anything other than give you more security in your relationship .... Is this what you're looking for?


You should really wait until you either try travelling or living together for a long period before you start skipping what happens between meeting someone and getting married

By the way 9 months is not a long time...As years go by things (anything) change whether you'll allow yourself to believe that or not and besides whats the rush?? You can still spend the rest of your lives together, You don't need a Church to make sure of that.

greenprincess

You say your sure you want to spend the rest of life with her. Thats great! But it doesnt mean you have to get married. I'm 22, I finished uni last year and the amount of big changes that have happened in my life in the last year has been crazy. You just dont know where you'll be in a few years. I'd say wait till yer going out at least two years. That way you'll know her a lot better.

Beruthiel

lovedupfool? wrote: »

she said its normal to feel that way and that she would love to marry me too one day.

Which means, relax, chill out, enjoy your time together and see how it goes.
Where's the fire?
You're 21 years old, only starting out in life and it is quite possible to be with someone for years, decades, before you even think of entertaining the idea of marriage.
What is important here is that you enjoy each other.
Marriage at this point is waaaaay too soon and it's time you cooled your jets and just have fun.

Victor

You could have been married at 18 having known her 3 months, so its perfectly possible. However, realise that you are (hopefully) going to make a commitment for the next 50-60 years, not something to be taken on lightly. Society doesn't say it is inappropriate, it says you need to be serious and to take all the possibilities and responsibilities into account. It is not something to be entered into lightly. You are not responsible for yourself, you will be responsible for two or more people.

When you've
* fed this person with food that you have made from scratch,
* put a roof over their head,
* gone on holiday together,
* cleaned their bathroom,
* cared for them when they are sick,
* met their family, thought them weird, but still visted again
* fixed their clothes
* they been mad with you and
* been in trouble with someone else because of them
and if you still want to marry them, then go for it. Usual situation is a two years as boyfriend/girlfriend and one of engagement or vice versa.