A blind date- for a whole weekend..

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

A bit of a silly post but maybe u can give ur opinion, help me make a decision. Recently went up to Belfast for a night out. Met a lovely guy but we were both pretty drunk. Talked for a while and he met me the next day and bought me breakfast. Anyway he's going to come visit me in Dublin in 2 weeks. It'll practically be a blind date- but one you can't just leave if its going bad as I think he's planning on staying in my gaf. I've told him i think i'm busy but he's gona phone later for my answer... What dya think? Could be worth a laugh but could be a disaster?

Katgurl

Hi op I'd be putting foot down, he's bit presumptuous? Tell him book b&b, you don't actually know him, a very hungover shared breakfast isn't much to go on.

sexdwarf

This is similar to how I met my BF, over 2 years later we're very happy campers!

Funky Kingston

I would tell him to stay in a B&B or hotel , he should'nt presume he can just stay at yours. Plus it will ease your mind and you can get to know him without the awlkwardness of having him stay the first night !


I hope you guys have fun

I forgot to add that's IF you wanna see him . Just say no if you are not up for it .... don't let him pressure you into spending the weekend in his company .

OS119

yeah, sod that. its begging for disaster with your bowl out.

if you're both reasonably flush you could tell him to get a B&B, or you could 'manage' the weekend so that he's not about for long should you decide that actually he's not for you and he's not hanging around when its all got horribly uncomfortable.

as an example: get him to turn up on friday or saturday evening - tell him in advance that he can come down for 24hrs but then you've got stuff on - have other friends round that evening for a pizza/curry/general social. he sleeps on the sofa/spare bed: arrange this in advance by dropping the hint 'have you got a sleeping bag?'. spend the next day with him in the city, and then see him off in the afternoon.

reasonably controlled, enough time to make reasonable decisions about whether you want to spend time with him, and lots of 'i've got to go' options should either of you decide that this isn't for you so you can both bugger off without it being awkward.

its not perfect for meeting a bloke you don't know, but realisticly - given the distance between where you both live - someone is going to have to take the plunge and stay over in the others city before you really get to know each other. if that level of risk isn't acceptable to you (and i agree with Katgurls point about presumption), then you're going to have to think hard about whether this can get off the ground.

How Strange

OP, are you ok with him staying at your place or are you just going along with it because you don't want to have to tell him to stay in a hotel?

If you're happy with him staying at yours and both of you spending all weekend together then go for it. You'll soon find out how you feel about each other.

I had a similar experience years ago. He lived in UK, met on holidays, we spoke on the phone a good bit before he came over and everything was great. He was coming for the weekend, Fri-Mon, and staying with me.

The only problem was that he was a completely different person when I was stuck with him 24/7 than he was on holiday or over the phone. We fought within a couple of hours of meeting up, I was stuck with him for the whole weekend and I couldn't wait to see the back of him. Needless to say it went no further than that.

If you're up for it and you're comfortable with that plan then go for it, life is short etc etc. If you're not then make some ground rules and then you'll be more relaxed for the weekend.

LegacyUser

Belfast is two hours from Dublin and there are buses 24 hours a day. For a meeting, there is no immediate need for either party to stay for the entire weekend, if you are uncomfortable with that on the first occasion. Say that you'd like to meet but are not keen on the overnight at this stage. So he can either stay elsewhere or go home.

LegacyUser

Guys u have been so helpful thanks. I would like to see him again, not too bothered about him staying over as there would def be some awkwardness before we would go out for the nite. Everything would be fine if he got a hotel as I wouldn't have to be with him all the time. I think I'll say he can't stay over for whatever reason.. blame the housemate or somethin.. and if he still wants to come down then that'd be ok. Thanx a mil guys!!

greenprincess

you dont even have to make an excuse why he cant say over. just say you'd be more comfortable if he didnt. Other then that why not meet him, sure nothing to lose! best of luck

MistyCheese

I would agree with green princess, tell him that you're not entirely comfortable with him staying at your place for a whole weekend. No genuine guy would have a problem with this.

If he did try to put pressure on you to let him stay I'd be worried, to be frank.

sam34

op, i'd be wary of him just presuming he can stay over

i mean, you hardly know the guy.


and as others have said, that's reason enough, you dont need to be fabricating excuses

if he gets stroppy. i'd hear alarm bells

Miss Fluff

+1 with above. I'd be MASSIVELY wary of someone trying to push for a sleepover like that. He doesn't even know you ffs and assumes he can stay in yours? (and that's regardless of whether he assumes the spare room or sleeping in your bed) Proceed with caution. And you have no obligation to "explain" why he can or cannot stay.

rediguana25

Same thing happened with me when I met someone in Galway. I jokingly said....well I presume you'll be staying in a b&b...he joked about staying on my couch but really I wouldn't have been comfortable with that. He stayed in a hotel - lucky too- I was totally not into him by the end of the night!!
I reckon you should do the same, he's just chancing his arm which is fair enough but if you're not comfortable with that don't go ahead with it.