hen night query

squeky

I am bridesmaid in July for my good friend but I am not her chief bridesmaid and the other 2 main bridesmaid have never been to a hen night and haven’t a clue what to do or how to go about arranging the hen night so i stepped in as i was at a few hen nights and i have everything arranged, now i delegated some things for them to do as i felt they had to help share in it, but i have spend alot of cash so far on it,

Do I ask the bridesmaid to give me some money to cover my costs or what?

Do we ask the women going to the hen to pay something also to cover our costs apart from there own accomadation or what is the norm in the women coming to the hen night, regards to paying?
Any help i would appreciate!

Thank You

Neyite

first hen i went to, the sister of the bride texted us all an amount to pay for the cost, a couple of months beforehand, as it was abroad.

second one, we all chipped in beforehand & shared the costs for accomadation beforehand and chipped in so the bride went free.

dont be shy in telling the other hens what they owe you and that you need it

LashingLady

Ballpark how much are we talking here and what have you spent it on??? I went to one hen party where the bridesmaids texted beforehand and said they needed a fiver from everyone towards little goodie bags that they had got for all the hens. That was no bother to me. But I went to another one where the bridesmaids texted beforehand and said we all had to buy the bride a present for €25 as a surprise to give her on the hen. Considering I was paying €300 for the hen package, more for spending money, going to stay at the hotel for the actual wedding and giving her a wedding present I was a little peeved at that!!

If it's anything more than €10 each then I would say stop spending money and check it out with the other girls going (not just bridesmaids). It's normal for the bride's meal to be paid for one of the nights so bear in mind everyone will be paying towards that too.

I had my hen party in home city so no going away costs for the girls but I don't think my sis spent much getting stuff for it. She did up a book for me with photos from my life and friends and little messages from my friends. She also had photos of me and friends blown up and laminated and left as placemats in the restaurant which was a great touch but I doubt it would have cost very much.

squeky

hi ya,
I have spend about €120 so far myself, on hats, t-shirt printed just for the bride, Posters (when she younger), games, accesories to dress up the bride, accesories for her bridesmaids to wear, hotel deposits, little basket goodies for hen for the morning after!, drinks, plastic glasses etc, bus tickets for bridesmaids and bride as the bride didnt want to hire a bus to save cost for her guests so we getting public transport, invites i handmade, (So materials for that).
Other small bits and i wanted to know do the bridesmaid help me with that cost or is it broken down for all the women coming to hen, i was going to ask all the women for an extra €15 to cover €5 per person for a basket of food in hotel, and alcohol. There hotel room is just costing them €25 per person for the night so thats not to much expense for them. alot them are not staying the night in the venue, they are going down with us in public transport and going home again the same night so its a cheap enough night for them,

is it selfish of me to get €15 of them as i have to buy alcohol yet!!

The thing is my mate is bringing women from where she works and i dont know them at all, now i have got the names of the women staying the night in the hotel, but my mate said that not all the other women could get off work for the hen night so she wouldnt have exact numbers for me til closer to the time of event but there names are dowm to come but it could change. so i havent contacted any of them as its not near the time yet to see for certain they going.

aviendha

squeky wrote: »

hi ya,
I have spend about €120 so far myself, on hats, t-shirt printed just for the bride, Posters (when she younger), games, accesories to dress up the bride, accesories for her bridesmaids to wear, hotel deposits, little basket goodies for hen for the morning after!, drinks, plastic glasses etc, bus tickets for bridesmaids and bride as the bride didnt want to hire a bus to save cost for her guests so we getting public transport, invites i handmade, (So materials for that).
Other small bits and i wanted to know do the bridesmaid help me with that cost or is it broken down for all the women coming to hen, i was going to ask all the women for an extra €15 to cover €5 per person for a basket of food in hotel, and alcohol. There hotel room is just costing them €25 per person for the night so thats not to much expense for them. alot them are not staying the night in the venue, they are going down with us in public transport and going home again the same night so its a cheap enough night for them,

is it selfish of me to get €15 of them as i have to buy alcohol yet!!

you are putting a lot of effort (and expense) on yourself, are you discussing these options with the other BMs to make sure they're ok with that?

and why are you buying alcohol - can the other people attending not buy that when they arrive down?

squeky

yes all is discussed with other bridesmaids before i purchase anything, they are okay with it all, i wanted to get some drinks/shots for us to have in hotel room before we head out!. All the hen nights i have been at, they have drink on the bus to the venue and in the bride's room before we head out on the town. But we are not hiring a bus down so there wont be any drinking on Public transport::(

suzieled

Any hen I have been on that there was some activies organised, we were sent a text a few weeks beforehandwith the cost. We also always shared the cost of the dinner amoung the group, so the bride didnt pay.

Heineken Helen

squeky wrote: »

yes all is discussed with other bridesmaids before i purchase anything, they are okay with it all, i wanted to get some drinks/shots for us to have in hotel room before we head out!. All the hen nights i have been at, they have drink on the bus to the venue and in the bride's room before we head out on the town. But we are not hiring a bus down so there wont be any drinking on Public transport::(

I've only been to one proper hen party. Yep, we had drink in the room but we got them at the bar or sent up from room service. If there are these facilities available don't be too quick to spend money that others may complain about... let people sort their own drink... but lead them to the bar so they know they're supposed to get drink.

I don't expect my hens to pay for much or even to pay for me... they're gonna have enough expense. I think there's too much 'tradition' when it comes to stuff like this... relax it a bit and do what you want and can afford. If you can't afford it, don't just do it and expect others to pay afterwards... talk to them about reimbursement first!

squeky

okay so you all think that €40 total for the guest women coming to hen night to pay is to much..

A Breakdown: €25 for there room for the night and breakfast next day and its a good hotel and i got a great deal! and €15 of them for food on the night in hotel and kitty for drink is all to much,

I would love to be going to a hen night without me organising it where thats all the expense!!

I have been to lots hen nights where €150 was asked off me.. and this is low key!

LashingLady

No, I don't think that that's too much considering that's all that has to be paid and it's for food etc!! I just think once all the ladies are aware of the setup and cost beforehand then it's fine.

But my initial post was apprehensive because I was thinking of a hen night where they are paying over €100 for the room and then dinner and drinks and then being asked for more money, but if that's €40 including the room and brekkie that's a good deal!

squeky

Thank you for all your replies..