How do i deal with this......

LegacyUser

I feel so lost at the moment and have no control of what is happening, i cant eat or sleep......
I met a guy three months ago and wehit it off straight away......basically within two weeks were a couple .........everything was going great and about 3 weeks ago he said we needed to talk and basically said he had all these feelings for me but didnt know if hewanted to be in a relationship. It was totally out of the blue and hit me like a ton of bricks.
I accepted it and made no attempts to contact him and within 3 days of our break up he rang me asking could we meet up and talk, saying he had made such a huge mistake and it has made him realise how much i meant to him
So fast forward to yesterday we had plans for dinner etc last night, i havent seen him in about a week due to work commitments from both our sides, we talked everyday however, we always do.
He rang me lunch time yesterday and said could he call over again we needed to talk. HE called over and said he was so sorry that he just was just so confused again and needed to be on his own. We talked very maturely about it all and i asked him why we had been making forward plans etc he said he wants it to work but doesnt think he can give me what i need.
He got very upset actually we both did and there was alot of hugging etc. I wish i could hate him but i cant he is one of the most amazing and honest people ive ever met.
Before people ask me do i really want to be with someone who doesnt know what he wants, i know i want to be with him..............i feel completely lost today.
He sent me a text last night saying 'i just want you to know this wasnt an easy decision for me and i will miss you x'
I cant eat cant sleep and i really dont know what to do.......
can anyone give me any advice???
xx

AnonoBoy

iamlost wrote: »

can anyone give me any advice???

Forget about him. He's dumped you twice in the space of three weeks, clearly he doesn't know what he wants. By the time he figures it out you'll be long gone.

Kiera

He sounds like a melter. You know yourself that he has treated you badly. I think you want him more now that he doesnt want you. Try move on and forget about him, he doesnt sound like he's worth it.

LegacyUser

iamlost wrote: »

basically within two weeks were a couple

said he had all these feelings for me but didnt know if hewanted to be in a relationship.

Sounds like a drama queen, addicted to the emotion and excitment of something new.
Getting heavily involved so quickly is always a bad sign. It means person is either on the rebound, desperate or an emotional vampire like your guy.
He loves feeding off your emotions and the high it gives him.
Move on and forget about him.

TitoPuente

Agree with what's been said so far. Move on. You deserve to be treated better.

Katgurl

Op run away fast. I am being hypocrite saying this because I have been entertaing ver similar headwrecker myself so I know it's hard to make the decision initially. The joy of ending these melodramatic semi-relationships though is that you get over them nearly as quickly as you get thrown into them. It's all very exciting but not much to it. Get your hair done, call up your buddies and forget all about him. He's a waste of time. Good luck.

TempleogueHead

I'm in the Exact same situation!
I just put it very blunt to him that I wanted a relationship but he explained why he didnt.
Just put it to him and tell him he can have all of you or none of you!!
good luck xx

AnonoBoy

TempleogueHead wrote: »

I'm in the Exact same situation!
I just put it very blunt to him that I wanted a relationship but he explained why he didnt.
Just put it to him and tell him he can have all of you or none of you!!
good luck xx

You're not in the exact same position judging by your latest thread. The OP hasn't cheated on this guy.

TempleogueHead

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You're not in the exact same position judging by your latest thread. The OP hasn't cheated on this guy.

Thats what i did before i fecked things up though

LegacyUser

been in EXACTLY the same position a few months back. She was making all these future plans, then all of a sudden I got the "I don't know what I want right now", which to me means "I know what I want, and it's not you".

Basically, if someone is telling you that their life would be a lot easier/better without you in it, I don't see the point in making an effort to ever get in touch with them or have a conversation with them again.

LegacyUser

Guys thank you for all your replies..............after much soul searching the last few days i have realised that in alot of ways i actually pushed him away with my on insecurites.
I really want to send him a text saying that i know i had a part to play in it......i think it would make me fel alot better

greenprincess

i wouldnt text him. Just leave it. It seems like it wasnt ment to be

Denimgirl

ddjsdfkljdfkl wrote: »

Sounds like a drama queen, addicted to the emotion and excitment of something new.
Getting heavily involved so quickly is always a bad sign. It means person is either on the rebound, desperate or an emotional vampire like your guy.
He loves feeding off your emotions and the high it gives him.
Move on and forget about him.

I so agree with this!it's soo true!! feeding his ego on your energy!!

Faith

iamlost wrote: »

Guys thank you for all your replies..............after much soul searching the last few days i have realised that in alot of ways i actually pushed him away with my on insecurites.
I really want to send him a text saying that i know i had a part to play in it......i think it would make me fel alot better

If you're honest with yourself, I'd say you'll find you only want to send that text because you think admitting some responsibility, and implying you're willing to change, will perhaps inspire him to come back to you. I've been there! If you haven't sent the text already, imagine how you'll feel if he doesn't acknowledge it, or replies with something you don't want to hear. It's a risky move that leaves you open to getting hurt again. I would advise against contacting him at all, but I know well that if your mind is made up, nothing will stop you.

LegacyUser

Well i texted and i got one back saying it was nothing i did wrong, he just feels we want different things and he really likes me and he really wanted it to work
I sent one back saying i thought the break up was for the best but it would be a shame to waste our friendship and maybe sometime we could go for a coffee and work on being friends (somewhere in my brain reverse pyschology made sense)
I didnt get a reply to that

davyjose

iamlost wrote: »

Guys thank you for all your replies..............after much soul searching the last few days i have realised that in alot of ways i actually pushed him away with my on insecurites.
I really want to send him a text saying that i know i had a part to play in it......i think it would make me fel alot better

Maybe you should take this as an opportunities work on those securities. three months isn't a long time, and if he's playing this sort of game (dumped twice in three weeks), then it's not really worth sticking around, IMO. Is it possible those "insecurities" are why you can't let this go?

Also, he's not honest, with you or himself. he's tricked you into thinking he is by the way he broke up with you.