Compromise

J2D2

Hi all, we're due to get married in about two years and are currently trying to figure out what the hell we're doing on the day.

Well what I wanted to know is, can you negotiate with hotels over things like menues/desserts and essentially tailor it to what we want and not conform to whats outlined in the brochure.

We were thinking of somewhere like the MaryBorough hotel but the food they offer is a little "posh" I suppose you'd call it. So could we suggest dishes to be served (some simple chicken based dishes, beef and such), and we'd want to scrap the desserts as most of them don't appeal to us at all. We happen to have a baker in the family and would love to have him bake up a load of tasty cakes and things and serve them instead as they are really really nice. I realise they might have issues with this, but to be honest if we're going to paying several thousands of euro I think we should be able to do it the way we want.

Has anyone ever had success with this sort of thing, or would this simply offend the hotel management and tick them off? Any views appreciated.

Clareman

I think that you should be able to negotiate for almost everything, but if it's not on their menu they will charge you for it, I would be surprised if they would charge less than the cheapest item on the menu. As you said, they are going to be getting a lot of money from you so they'll want to keep you happy, but if you think their food is too posh for you is the whole place suitable?

I also wouldn't be sure about bringing in food from outside, Health and Safety means that most hotels will be very strict about people bringing in their own food, it's usually a big problem for hotels although they will serve the wedding cake.

If I could give a suggestion it would be to start saving now for the big day and try to pay for as much in advance, for example if each of you were to save €100 a week for the next 2 years that ~10k saved for the actual event, before the day pay off as much as you can, e.g. pay larger than normal deposits if you can, get invites 1 month, shoes another, etc. etc.

emma82

We negotiated everything in terms of pricing. They offered us the menu and we chose something different for the main courses and a starter & it was fine- but we insisted on it being priced to a similiar dish- to which they agreed. They were fine about the changes we just had to work it out with the chef in advance. We also got a per head reduction for only having 1 choice on starters/desserts etc..

I don't know what your bargaining power is like in relation to numbers etc but we are having 300+ at our wedding so I'm sure that made a difference. (I know people don't agree with that number & think its nuts- but it is what it is!) If your having a mid week wedding- it could be used to your advantage.

In our venue (Donegal) they refused to let us bring anything except the wedding cake & pre approved favours. I can't see any venue allowing you to bring your own desserts. Could your friend bake the wedding cake/cupcakes etc & you could use them as the desserts- which was allowed by our venue.

BC

Most hotels are quite accomodating although I agree with clareman on the health and safety issues.

If you do want want changes, outline them before you pay a deposit and have the details included in the contract. You will probably be dealing with different staff, different chefs in two years so make sure its all covered in writing.