going from dating to couple - advice needed!

LegacyUser

Need some advice as I have been out of the dating thing for a long while now as finished a v-long term relationship in January. I met an amazing guy nearly a month ago and have been out together loads since. we both have a huge amount in common and have tons of mutual aquaintances but just never met before.

I have been letting him dictate the pace of this for the most part as due to the fact that there is so many common denominators i didn't want things to be awkward if it didn't work out. (I started a new job about six months ago and my best friend at work is his best friend!) Because of this too, it feels like we've been together for much longer than that as we have so many other friends etc in common. He is such a fab guy that I couldn't believe he was interested in me tbh at first!

He's been doing the majority of the asking out etc, and most days he would be the one to contact me first - which is great so I can be more sure that he genuinely does like me. I'm not playing games or playing hard to get or anything, but I didn't want to end up falling for someone who I wasn't sure really liked me or not. It feels like its gotten pretty involved already as we have been out together loads and spent a few nights together, and the other night he'd even hinted at going to a concert together he wanted to see in august . . .

Seeing as its been so long since I've been in these early relationship stages i'm wondering - when does something like this go from dating to being a couple? clearly at late 20's one doesn't ask "so, are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

I'm quite happy the way things are and don't want to rush anything by demanding girlfriend status lol, (would secretly be delighted if thats the way things go if i'm honest!) obviously don't want to drift along forever and i know its only been a month ! but some of my g/ friends etc have been asking me what the story is etc. and have got me wondering . . . . . .

so how have other ppl done this - any advice / anecdotes greatly appreciated!

LegacyUser

Seeing as its been so long since I've been in these early relationship stages i'm wondering - when does something like this go from dating to being a couple? clearly at late 20's one doesn't ask "so, are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

It has to be verbalised in some way, shape or form, and to be honest asking that question is probably the most straight-forward.

Essentially, you want to find out if you are boyfriend and girlfriend - so you're best bet is to ask that question. Otherwise, you don't really know where you stand.

PK2008

Nearly a month ago? Doesnt sound very long to me tbh.

In saying that theres no set time limit for these things

sarmer

It's funny, I had a thread like this a while ago and people were saying that 2 months is too quick to have 'the chat'. I let it go to 3 months and it ended really because neither of us addressed the issue!

I'd say broach it asap, maybe over the next couple of weeks or so. You need to know where you stand. It sounds like he's into you and I think when a guy is into you he'll be just as keen to make it official!

Denimgirl

sydney27 wrote: »

Need some advice as I have been out of the dating thing for a long while now as finished a v-long term relationship in January. I met an amazing guy nearly a month ago and have been out together loads since. we both have a huge amount in common and have tons of mutual aquaintances but just never met before.

I have been letting him dictate the pace of this for the most part as due to the fact that there is so many common denominators i didn't want things to be awkward if it didn't work out. (I started a new job about six months ago and my best friend at work is his best friend!) Because of this too, it feels like we've been together for much longer than that as we have so many other friends etc in common. He is such a fab guy that I couldn't believe he was interested in me tbh at first!

He's been doing the majority of the asking out etc, and most days he would be the one to contact me first - which is great so I can be more sure that he genuinely does like me. I'm not playing games or playing hard to get or anything, but I didn't want to end up falling for someone who I wasn't sure really liked me or not. It feels like its gotten pretty involved already as we have been out together loads and spent a few nights together, and the other night he'd even hinted at going to a concert together he wanted to see in august . . .

Seeing as its been so long since I've been in these early relationship stages i'm wondering - when does something like this go from dating to being a couple? clearly at late 20's one doesn't ask "so, are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

I'm quite happy the way things are and don't want to rush anything by demanding girlfriend status lol, (would secretly be delighted if thats the way things go if i'm honest!) obviously don't want to drift along forever and i know its only been a month ! but some of my g/ friends etc have been asking me what the story is etc. and have got me wondering . . . . . .

so how have other ppl done this - any advice / anecdotes greatly appreciated!

I think you should get one of your mates to joke about it casually in a social setting something that will spark off the conversation between the 2 of you,have her say it in a jokey way and make sure it's a friend you can trust and won't blab to anybody!

Just plainly ask him if he wants to agree on whether it's a serious relationship or not. That's all you have to do.

BobbyOLeary

sydney27 wrote: »

clearly at late 20's one doesn't ask "so, are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

My GF is in her mid 20's and she asked me pretty much this exact question. We were on a date (bowling now that I think of it, class date idea btw) and we were chatting away and I mentioned something about us, or maybe I said boyfriend, I can't remember. She kind of looked at me and said "So this is a boyfriend-girlfirend sort of thing now?". I said that I felt it was and we moved on, 8 months later we're still going strong.

Just ask. Don't get hung up on what a late 20's woman should do and just ask him what you want to know.