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How to get over a breakup??

  • 16-05-2010 7:05pm
    #1
    whatanidiot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 123 ✭✭


    I just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 and half years and we just signed a years lease in a new house. It was to be a fresh start after all the shady things he'd done and I still loved him and wanted it to work so stupidly moved in. 3 weeks later he's back to his old ways and I just had enough. Now I'm devastated and he's saying it's a weight off his shoulders and he's never been happier. Obviously I need to try and get out of the contract (harder to do than I'd thought!) but I'm still having to come home every evening to see him enjoying his new life! I'm gutted that after all that time he's so easily able to move on and be happy when I'm so upset all the time. I've been trying to keep busy and keep my mind off it but its so hard to do. Any suggestions on how to move on??


Comments

  • #2
    emeraldgreen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34 ✭emeraldgreen


    there is no easy way unfortunatly. im still really raw from a breakup. its been over two months now and every single day i still think about him, and whereas i used to have a little cry every day, now they are getting further apart! i was with my OH for a long long time, we were childhood sweethearts, and i never would have thought he could have left what we had, and everything we went though in life together, mostly good but some bad, and not looked back. thats the part i find hardest to deal with, that he just went and it seems was able to just turn off his feelings like that for me. i can safely say, i was, i am, left totally heartbroken. im seriously looking into and considering upping sticks and getting out of here for a few months at least. i need to get him out of my heart, and out of my head.
    id advise you just to try and get on with your life, and if its meant to be, it will be. but honestly, we probably both know deep down that we are better off without people in our lives who treat us like ****.
    feel free to PM if you want a chat or a chance to vent. ive found in situations like this you find out who your real friends are, and for me they were few and far between!!


  • #3
    Cinful
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 284 ✭✭Cinful


    Breakups are like hangovers. Next day mimosa? So go out in style!


  • #4
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Personally i feel this is more suited to here, however Mods do please feel free to bounce it back.

    Maple.


  • #5
    sopick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46 ✭sopick


    buy a punching bag and relieve some stress you will feel alot better there are plenty of monkeys in the jungle:D


  • #6
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    Ok, first things first. Get out of there. I know you have a lease but contact threshold and find out if you can give notice. As far as I know you can get out of a lease. Or figure out if you can afford to forego your half of the deposit. Trust me, it will be worth it. If you stay there it will be so bad for you.
    I lived with my ex for a month after we split and I just couldn't take it any more. My parents eventually helped me with a deposit for a new place as they saw how living with him was affecting me.
    It meant living on a shoestring for a while as I was paying them back, but it was so worth it.

    Next cut contact. If he was being anyway decent I wouldn't say that but my ex went on with the same crap about how happy he was etc. It's cruel and horrible and the beauty of not being with him anymore is that you don't have to listen to it!

    Next, rally your family and friends and even if you don't feel up to it, get out there and keep busy. Do whatever it takes to make sure you aren't sitting home alone thinking about things. PLan your weekends in advance as I found that knowing what I was going to be doing made the weekdays easier.

    Do something that will make you feel great. Cut your hair, clear out your wardrobe. Fresh start, you'll feel good.

    And then just wait. It takes time which is unfortunate but true.

    Just be aware that for a while you'll think about him all the time. And then most of the time. And then some of the time. And then occasionally. And then hardly ever.

    We all want the fast way but there isn't one I'm afraid.

    But the sooner you get out of that house and away from him, the sooner you can start to get over him.


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  • #7
    whatanidiot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 123 ✭✭whatanidiot


    Thanks for the replies, I'm defo going getting out of here as fast as I can. :D


  • #8
    whatanidiot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 123 ✭✭whatanidiot


    ash23 wrote: »
    Ok, first things first. Get out of there. I know you have a lease but contact threshold and find out if you can give notice. As far as I know you can get out of a lease. Or figure out if you can afford to forego your half of the deposit. Trust me, it will be worth it. If you stay there it will be so bad for you.

    Unfortunately my lease is for the two of us and if I move out he might have to too and he's made it perfectly clear he won't be doing that! And I can't afford to pay rent in two diff places. I stupidly have no savings whatsoever and I'd need my deposit to get a new place.

    My boss has suggested I take the summer away from work and move home but I'd have no money for living then and I'm supposed to be going back to college in Sept (with no savings :eek:) so I don't really have the luxury of taking time off. The whole thing is just an unfortunate mess really and living here will obviously only make things worse but I feel like I've no option but to stay here.

    I'd booked the weekend off for my birthday so I can at least get home for the weekend and hopefully my parents will have some wise ways of getting outta this.

    And my friends have been great. I've got plans for the next few weekends. Unfortunately though I still have to come home after nights out and last Sat I was told how many girls had been "gagging" for him when he went to his horrible friends house. I'm trying to tell myself he's hurting and thats why he's being so nasty but I know it's just his newfound personality he gained when he got some new horrible friends.

    Vent over hehe!

    Thanks for the replies :D


  • #9
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    whatanidiot wrote: »
    Unfortunately my lease is for the two of us and if I move out he might have to too and he's made it perfectly clear he won't be doing that! And I can't afford to pay rent in two diff places. I stupidly have no savings whatsoever and I'd need my deposit to get a new place.

    If you have a fixed term lease you can get out of it by writing to the landlord and advising them that you wish to find a tenant to take over your lease. If the landlord disagrees with this, you can give notice to terminate the lease the length of which is determined by how long you have lived there.

    See http://www.threshold.ie/page.asp?menu=74&page=256


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