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Friend suffering with depression

  • 16-05-2010 3:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've got a close friend who has been suffering with mild depression for the last couple of years. She's been to counselling and it's helped, but she's still down from time to time. At the minute she's really down, mainly due to exam stress and spending time alone studying.

    I'm just not sure what I can do to cheer her up these days. We go out to the cinema/for lunch/for drinks alone or with friends a couple of times a week and she enjoys it, but I don't think she's ever 'happy'. What can I do to help? Her parents are very supportive and always trying their best, but she lives away from home so only sees them every few weeks. I'm one of her closest friends and feel like I should be doing more to help. Thanks for any advice!


Comments

  • #2
    sheep-go-baa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 179 ✭✭sheep-go-baa


    You do help her, more than you think you do probably. It's terribly sad that she's feelin low at the moment but exams are unavoidable and you just have to wait and get through them. Being there for someone when they need it is really important and you are doing a great job at that already. You can't cure her single handedly much as you might want to. Perhaps she should try some more counselling? Best of luck


  • #3
    Darlughda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,886 ✭✭✭Darlughda


    Don't try to 'cheer her up' or make her happy.
    Even though you have the best of intentions, this is one of the worst kind of pressures a friend can put someone through if they are experiencing a depressive episode.

    Instead focus on just allowing her be whatever way she is; if she is sad, non communicative, silent accept that and don't try to jolly her out of it. If she does talk. Listen. Without jumping in with a reply, if she talks just listen.

    Food and dinners can fall low on priority with examtimes and depression, so maybe call around and bring her a casserole, or call over with ingredients and cook her a nice dinner in her own environment so she gets a break from study without having to go out and still has the benefit of your company.

    Even the regular contact with someone who does not judge them and accepts them as they are, can make the world of difference to a person going through depression.


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