Relationship advice

rebel10

Relationship advice
Sorry if this should be in some other forum.
Basically i am a little lost and need advice. Was going out with my ex for 6 years. He broke up with me 2 years ago, saying that he had fallen for a girl he worked with,obviously i was devastated and completely shocked about a week later i went on holidays with my friends and when i came back he begged me to take him back, saying that he could not imagine his life without me in it. I agreed to try again, as i was still very much in love with him and could not really fault him for falling for someone else. He told me that this girl had been flirting with him, although she knew he was in a long-term relationship. He finished up that job soon after.
All was going well until October of last year, he broke up with me again, saying he just wasn't happy, things had become boring and that because he is seeing so many of his friends getting married, he had to decide now whether or not I was the one he wanted to spend his life with. Devastated, I tried to move on. I live alone and don't have family around at the moment, friends have been good but after a few weeks of "minding" me, they have moved on as they thought i had.
Basically i began to feel very low, very alone and worthless. I am quite a private person and would find it difficult to talk to even my closest friends about this. I started to make contact with him again over the phone and he called around every few weeks, of course we slept together which obviously didn't help matters. Around xmas he said he wanted to talk to me, i didn't know whether this was to ask me back or to finish things entirely, but things were going well when we did meet up so I thought it would be the latter. The "talk" never happened.
Basically, since easter, we have met up almost every weekend. Sleeping together and doing the stuff we would have been doing as a couple. None of my friends or his know we have been meeting.
My problem is, he seems to be very distant with me, with the last two weeks,up to the point where he is almost avoiding being close, as in if i hold out my hand for his he will hold it for a second and drop it almost instantly. If i try to kiss him, he makes an excuse like he has a cold or something. Now i know at this point i should be accepting that he has no interest, but once we go to bed, he is all over me, we have sex, and then he straight away falls asleep and wont even come near me after that. In the morning he gets out of bed so quickly, claiming "the day will be wasted."
My dilema is, do you think he is just using me for easy sex? I think i know the answer, but i can't accept that someone who is my best friend would hurt me like this. If he had let me go when he broke up with me then maybe i could have moved on, but now i am just so confused and messed up. I am scared i will end up hating him and losing a best friend if what he is doing is using me. I have probably over-simplified things here, but i am asking for advice on what a sane girl would do. I'm lost. Thanks.

smileyscientist

I agree completely with the previous poster. He is completely USING you.

My heart goes out to you, I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love but this guy bears no resemblance to the guy you spent 6 years with. He is a completely different person and is flexing his control over you to get what he wants from you and give you nothing in return- just heartbreak. You have to separate the old person you used to know from this new p**ck.

Do yourself a favour and GET RID. Take back the control, show him whos boss and that your not taking any more sh1t.

Give yourself the chance to get over him- that means cut ALL contact and ask him not to contact you again. If he cares about you at all he will do this for you. If you continue down this track, he will enivatebly get bored and will leave and leave you in tatters. Please dont give him the free rein to do this. Show yourself some respect and get out of this toxic vicious circle.

Be strong, I know its hard but it will be worth it in the long run, mark my words

x x

LegacyUser

I always know it's over when I stop holding a girl's hand or want to get out of bed the next day rather than stay there and just be with her.

If I don't want to be kissed then I'm either over the relationship OR I am feeling guilty that the relationship is about to end and can't deal with the affectionate behaviours of my gf.

I'd take a stand if I was you.

Katgurl

Sorry op but this relationship is completely and utterly finished. For whatever reasons he can't let go entirely but don't confuse that with him giving it a go.

He is taking comfort from sex to mask his fears about being alone and guilt about how he's treating you. He's showing you no respect.

End it now. Find the strength to just say no. He is offering you nothing but long drawn out pain and humiliation.