Joining a group mid-round (competitive game) - opinions?

JCDUB

Lads,

I have an interesting one which I'd like to get some opinions on.

I was out in the second round of 36 hole competition recently, and my playing partners hadn't played particularly well in the first round, but I did ok.

We were out in fourballs (badly organised first tee,) and after 9 holes two of the lads said they were splitting. No problem as far as I'm concerned.

So myself and other playing partner ploughed on, but he was playing crap, and wanted to go in after a few more holes. He suggested me joining the group ahead as they were in a 3-ball and there was nobody behind us for a while. I said ok no hassle, so long as it's ok with them obviously.

He went over and asked the lads playing while I was on the opposite side of the green chipping into the green. They said fine no problem at all, and waited. Then as I was going over one of them came over and said "One of the lads is going well here and doesn't really want you to join us."

I said fine, no hassle and my partner said he'd stick it out with me.

But my point is when my partner asked this particular golfer he said it wasn't a bother. However his daddy was caddying for him and obviously said no and put his foot down.

Now I know for a fact that he wasn't going to win this comp, so he wasn't going that well.

I'd just like your opinions on whether you think it was bad form of him not to welcome me into his group or not. I think it's not in the spirit of the game, but I also kind of understand where he was coming from, considering he was going well and didn't want anything to interrupt his momentum.

I'd also more importantly like your opinions on daddy's interruption. I think he was out of order and it was not his decision to make. If his son was ok with it then he should have been. I'd hate to think how their home life is if his dad is that domineering and controlling while out playing sport, supposedly for enjoyment.

I just think some people really are a bit up their own arses at times, and need to relax. I also think that young man should tell his dad what's what, that he's the boss when he's playing golf, and if his dad doesn't like it he knows where to go.

I mean this guy is in his late teens, off low single figures, never gonna make pro, so his dad should stop trying to live his life through his son and let him enjoy the game.

SoupyNorman

Never mind the person who would not let you join them. The criticism needs to be directed towards your playing partners.

I've been playing golf for quite a while and never have I walked off in the middle of a round or indeed have someone walk off just because they were not playing well. If the lads didnt do so well in the first round they should not have played the 2nd 18, I think that is the height of ignorance and selfishness to do such a thing.

Maybe I'm picking you up wrong but thats how I'm seeing it.

JCDUB

I do get what you're saying norman, but that's not what I'm getting at.

I don't mind the fact that they left, I know I've done it before myself. Also I did know them well. If they were strangers I'd probably be a bit taken aback, as I'd never do it to a stranger, under any circumstances.

dvemail

I also feel that your three playing partners are to blame. If you enter a 36 hole competition you should play the 36 holes even if your playing the worst golf of your life.
Maybe one person leaving the group can be fine as it mightnt disrupt the pace of the golf that much.

Although it probably was in bad taste by the "daddy" to not let you join the group even though he wasnt even playing in the competition. But for all he knew you could have been an extremely slow golfer (not suggesting that you are) and this could disrupt his sons chances of posting a good score

f22

Bad form on both sides, never in a million years would I expect my playing partner to join another group, nor would I refuse someone joining me either if they were stuck.

Doubt if I would have let yer mans old man off with that without saying something to him either.

Mister Sifter

I've a funny feeling i know the guy you're talking about.

But anyway, i've been in the same situation where my playing partners have decided to quit and had to join up with another group. It's not nice at all.

Very selfish attitude by the guy concerned to say you couldn't join. I only hope that he's put in the same situation one day.

I wonder what he/his father expected you to do? Very selfish and goes against the spirit of the amateur game.

Kace

I've been playing for almost 30 years and have never had anyone come up mid-round in a competition and ask to join up, nor would I expect to do the same to any other group.

I personally wouldn't like anyone to join my group on this basis in a competitive round. Any other time no problem, in competition - not on.

Bad form on your playing partners, especially the final guy who put you in this position. This was pressure and grief that you did not need when trying to build a score.

Daithio9

Morale of the story is, pick your playing partners wisely.

sweetswing

cant understand any group saying no to joining up, when im playing well im focused on the game not who is standing beside me, having some one joining your group should not interfear with your game in any way .
i think its very bad form.
also bad form by your parteners for splitting and leaving you.
you shouldnt wast your breath on the kids father he sounds like an ass hole

soundsham

Selfish partners really seems to be the problem
just cause the race was run for them they bailed
sad really,
personally I don't think joining up mid round should be allowed & leaving mid round should result in some penalty except incase of emergency

DonkeyPokerTour

soundsham wrote: »

Selfish partners really seems to be the problem
just cause the race was run for them they bailed
sad really,
personally I don't think joining up mid round should be allowed & leaving mid round should result in some penalty except incase of emergency

While in an Ideal world I agree with you soundsham, but you'll see a massive increases in the number of emergencys occuring! Someone getting a "phone call" while talking to a dead phone, or "twisting" an ankle on his approach shot to the 9th etc. And also define "emergency"? Its just impossible to enforce sad though it is.

JC, the dad is clearly just a PITA, outta order in my book.

hurleronditch

Also I would imagine you would have been disqualified yourself if you had allowed this to happen, as one of the guys from the group in front would have to end up signing your card, without seeing you play the first 9 holes?

Completely against the rules of golf i would imagine

Mister Sifter

hurleronditch wrote: »

Also I would imagine you would have been disqualified yourself if you had allowed this to happen, as one of the guys from the group in front would have to end up signing your card, without seeing you play the first 9 holes?

Completely against the rules of golf i would imagine

Not at all. The person originally marking your card simply signs your card and gives it back to you before he leaves and then the new marker carries on from there and signs a second signature at the end.

Russman

Yes, you simply get two signatures on the card in that case.

Ok, sweeping generalisation coming, don't all get offended .....
It seems that too many people are very much stuck up their own ar$es when it comes to competitions, its still just golf ffs. People might score better if they forgot all this rubbish about being "in the zone" or "concentrating" bla, bla and simply played golf. How many times have we seen players behave completely differrently for a "serious" round and play nothing like their normal ability. Have a read of Dr Bob . Probably this attitude is instilled into decent young players by people such as the father (who seems to be a fool) mentioned in the story, and this carries on into their later golfing career. Its they who hit the shots, good or bad, not the person they're playing with. Unless the person joining is an absolute tool who has no idea how to behave it shouldn't make a difference. We're all amateurs (I assume) and its supposed to be our enjoyable pastime not a chore, you can still be competitive at a high level and remain good company on the course.

Rant over (apologies if it was a little off thread)

JCDUB

I get what you're all saying about my partners leaving, and in fairness you're all right. I wouldn't do it in a competitive competition, especially if somebody I was playing with was doing ok.

I'd just go along with them and give them as much encouragement as possible.

If you sign up for a 36 hole comp you should play the lot. However the lads are mates of mine and I've known them a long time, and they wouldn't normally do it, so I didn't mind.

@ Mister Sifter, guy in question is/was a member of a club we played together, and moved to another more prestigious club in the area recently apparently.

I'd imagine by the law of averages a few people on here would know him. Poor fella with a dad like that, instilling completely wrong values in him re: sport and life in general..

stockdam

What level of competition was this?

Why did all of your partners want to pull out (I assume that the first two "split" and walked in? If there was an emergency then that's fine but you don't stop just because you are playing badly or have no chance of winning. That's just the height of selfishness and I wouldn't play with any of them again. What would you say if half of the field in a major golf tournament walked in just because they felt that they weren't playing their best? When you start your round you have a commitment to finish it no matter how badly you are playing - your partners sound like spoilt kids.

Ok so the next problem.......you wanted to join the group ahead. They should have no problem with that unless for some reason you and they had an issue (unlikely). It's a game of golf and no matter what the level other than very senior amateur competitions, it's only a poxy game where playing and socialising are much more important than winning a new pair of shoes. Adding another person is hardly likely to "disrupt" anyone.

So almost all of the people in this story displayed childish behaviour which is against the spirit of the game. The OP seems to be the only person who acted like an adult.