Too much to ask??

LegacyUser

Hi posted here before and got good advice so going to try my arm a second time. My ( ex)boyfriend and I have been seeing each other since Nov. We work in the same place although hes a manager there and I'm just part time.

He had an accident in Dec so was off work so we had lots of time to spend together. Everything was great, we loved spending time together, had great fun and really liked each other. It was bliss. It was my first time meeting anyone's parents and also in someone meeting mine.

Come Feb he went back to work and I cant even explain the change in our 'relationship' regarding the amount of time we spend together.

His job is quite demanding as hes one of the head guys there and also he was playing catch up so I was understanding at first as I knew he had a lot to catch up on and took the advice given by some and decided to say it t him about making more of an effort outside work hours. He was agreeable to this.

Fast forward 3 months and things are beyond repair imo. He has taken on even more work which requires him to be at work for about 15hrs a day. He hasnt taken a day off in 3 weeks and I haven't seen him in this time not for lack of trying on my part. I've lost track of the amount of times I've tried to meet up with him for a chat about things, everytime the effort is ignored or he puts it off due to work.

I've given up calling him as I know he wont answer when hes at work and whenI do text I probably wont get a reply until 12 or 1am the next morning, if at all. I've had a few chats about this with his friends and they say shoud just give him time and be patient. When Ive made my feelings known to him he says that I deserve better and that ifs not fair on me and that hes sick of playing politics with everyone and trying to please everyone. He says he cant stand feeling bad about not seeing me and hates the fact that he has no time to spend with me.

Any time Ive asked him straight out what he wants he dodges the question so all I really want to do is meet him face to face so he will just be upfront with me.

Ive also just finshed pretty important exams and know Ive let myself down with them as I just couldnt get my head into focus when it came to study. When he asked how I was getting on with them, I told him straightout I didn't do great, he wasnt exactly putting my mind at ease over them, as a boyfriend should.

I asked him again last nite to meet tonight saying this would be my final offer to him and that he could take it or leave it and he hasn't even had the courtsey to reply. Fair enough people are busy at work but too busy to send a quick text?? I find it hard to believe he couldnt spare 30secs of his day to reply. I know if the shoe was on the other foot, I would. I coudnt stand just stringing someone along and toying with them.

I suppose I know the answer myself of how this will end ( or has ended) but I just can't get my head around how anyone could be just so blatently disrepectful and have such disregard for someone's feelings, especially given the fact that he was a completely different guy when I first started going out. He knows that this is tearing me up and really is affecting everything in my life but he seems to not give two fcuks.

I'm p*ssed off most of all that I had absolutely no opportunity to have any say in all of this, the whole thing was stuck out on his terms. I know we weren't going out as long as some of the breakups here but nonetheless this sort of behaviour is more in common with someone you might meet for a date or two and then decide it wasn't going anywhere.

I'm strongly considering writing him an email and just putting it all down there, I probably wont get a response but at least he'l know exactly how hes made me feel. I guess I'm asking whether is this a good idea or not or shoud I just leave it. Its also hard not to contact him, although I haven't since yesterday eve and can't see myself doing so.

It's also awful because not only will have to see him in work but collegues were just finding out we were going out and now everyone will be wondering what happened. I'm starting a new project on monday for 2 months as part of my masters so will be prettu busy so it couldnt come as at a better time.

I'm just so angry and disappointed about how all of this has turned out and how he has just turned his back on me after our time together. Dunno what I am looking for posting here, just want to hear your unbiased opinions and whether this has happened anyone before and if its a good idea to send the email.

So so sorry about the lenght- this is the short version!!

Thanks for reading

bigjohnny80

I don't think anyone is too busy to send a text or quick call.

I think maybe call it a day with him.

Wouldn't worry too much about having to work in the same place - happens all the time.

Denimgirl

Don't bother contacting this loser he was very nice when he was at home off sick!! Please don't contact him he will tell people your a stalker or something and you need your job at the moment.when you go in keep your head down ignore him do your work and come home and do not speak with him at all if you can.if you do be very polite and formal.he sounds like a dickhead and personally yout better off it ended now.a nice guy won;t treat you like this and you sound like a nice girl who deserves to be treated nice.xxx

LegacyUser

Hi OP here. Thanks a mil for the advice. I guess I knew the story already, just needed to hear it from a third party. Havent contacted him since but bumped into him at work yest and said hi and kept walking so at least thats thats over.

I know i wont contact him again, I know now theres absolutely no point. Let him at it.

I hate how it ended but I know hes the one with the problem not me. I just wish I got the curtsey of a explaination, but hes obviously hasnt the backbone for that. Well good riddance to bad rubbish, will chalk it down to learning!

On wards and Up wards

Katgurl

That sounds unbelieveably frustrating OP I'd be gnashing my teeth in rage if I were you. But as previous poster said don't communicate with him anymore. He doesn't even deserve opportunity to explain himaself. You sound like you've your head screwed on so you won't be long getting over him, few nights out with the girls and book a holiday so you've something to look forward to. This will pass, good luck!

Denimgirl

Unreg0 wrote: »

Hi OP here. Thanks a mil for the advice. I guess I knew the story already, just needed to hear it from a third party. Havent contacted him since but bumped into him at work yest and said hi and kept walking so at least thats thats over.

I know i wont contact him again, I know now theres absolutely no point. Let him at it.

I hate how it ended but I know hes the one with the problem not me. I just wish I got the curtsey of a explaination, but hes obviously hasnt the backbone for that. Well good riddance to bad rubbish, will chalk it down to learning!

On wards and Up wards

yeah f*ck him! go in work looking hot and happy and ignore him!

rediguana25

Don't do anything. Don't send him an email and don't text him anymore....harsh i know but seriously....he knows where you are and if he's interested in pursuing a relationship he will contact you. He needs to grow a pair and be upfront. Unfortunately a lot of guys don't have the b@lls to say what they really feel so I would suggest you do nothing. Draw a line under it and aim to move on. As difficult as this is I know but if you contact him and he's not interested it will not make him interested it will just boost his ego and show him he's in control. Take back the Control OP because only you can be in control of your life in the end not some weak pleb who can't be honest and who is clearly keeping you hanging on.

LegacyUser

OP again, thank you all so much for your words of encouragement

Saw him yesterday at again but dealt with it fine. I just pretend I dont see him, Il greet him if I have to. Was out last nite and no drunken texts so very proud of myself this morning lol and there wont be!

Easy come easy go.. NEXT!!!!!