Sick of my friend

LegacyUser

Im having a problem with my housemate at the moment.

Basically its my own fault, but it didnt know it would get like this.

When i was travelling in Oz i met a bloke, sound guy, we travelled Oz together for 6months and had great fun. Then when we got home, we decided it made sense to get a place together seeing as we were both looking. So we did.

I went back to my job and he lost his, there was a vacancy in my place and i managed to get him a job in my place. This was all about 7-8 months ago. Anyway its now got to the stage were i cannot even stand the sight of him. Its just to much.

He thinks all my friends are his friends, as his own friends dont seem to bother with him anymore. I hate that, ive realised ive gone way to deep with him and that we need our seperate lives, but how can i have a seperate life with him when he keeps inviting himself on nights out with all my mates, weekends away etc?

my friends and girlfriend aernt that pushed on him but he doesnt seem to care. I cant change jobs and we have another 9months on this lease, so basically theres no escaping.

Can anyone offer any advice, I value his friendship but i feel that this is all to much. Id break the lease 2mrw and move into my girlfriends place for the sake of our friendship but that would leave him fooked and i wouldnt do that...has anyone got any ideas?

LegacyUser

Do you still like the guy?

Some people are just very easy going and up for a night out, a weekend away and will just hang out.

Now, what you have is a a situation where this/his casualness is impinging on your friendship with your other friends.

Might it be the case that your friends haven't taken to him and that you now view him differently and just want it to go back to the way it was with your friends before?

What about is it about him now that you have decided isn't cool and why don't your friends seem too pushed on him? I mean, if you've spent 6 mths with him in Oz, surely you became good mates. Surely you shared lots of fun times and experiences and knew what he was like.

I think it's an Irish thing where you befriend someone and then when they don't quite fit into one's Irish life/clique, that it's easier just to get rid of your new friend. Friendships can't be casual; we're either mates or not... we don't take a number and just meet up for a coffee or a pint of someone we get on with.... (or maybe that's just my perception of us).

Granted, I think that if you see too much of anyone that it will do your head in.

Denimgirl

yes I agree with wellwellwoo! too much of anybody is head wrecking! but i feel sorry for this guy he obviously thinks you two are great mates does'nt feel like he's intruding when you go out with your othe rmates coz he just so co in togetmfortable with your friendship after all you did get him a job in your company!but still i know your working then iving with someone it does'nt mix well! what i would do is tell him that maybe you were thinking of moving out or ask him how long does he reckon he'll stay livingthere not in a smart way but a casuelway you could sat that you and you girl are thinking of moving in together!

ash23

Just organise more "girls nights" out or weekends away. Assuming most of your mates are female then when he invites himself along tell him it's a girls night out and suggest he goes out with his own friends.

Organise work nights out and hope he gets pally with some of the guys from work. Encourage him to join a sports team where he'll meet some guys.

Encourage him to go on dates. If he got a girlfriend he might spend less time with you.

Or just sit him down and be honest, tell him you feel you are spending too much time together with work and living in the same place and you'd like it if you had some time with your friends, alone.

Loads of things you can try really.

cafecolour

Living and working with someone can be a bit much. OTOH, if you traveled with him for 6 months, you must have seen him almost non-stop at that point, and you seemed to be still fine. What changed?

You can try and stop focusing on him - if you're out with friends, talk to some friends and he can be talking to others. Essentially just make him a 'full' member of your socially circle, instead of operating though you. So he can head out independently with some of 'your' friends when you feel like staying in, or doing something with one group of friends while you do another.

Additionally, you can try and push him to get some of his own friends - ie is there a hobby he's into that you're not? Get him to join the said hurling team/book club/gamers guild/etc.

Denimgirl

ash23 wrote: »

Just organise more "girls nights" out or weekends away. Assuming most of your mates are female then when he invites himself along tell him it's a girls night out and suggest he goes out with his own friends.

Organise work nights out and hope he gets pally with some of the guys from work. Encourage him to join a sports team where he'll meet some guys.

Encourage him to go on dates. If he got a girlfriend he might spend less time with you.

Or just sit him down and be honest, tell him you feel you are spending too much time together with work and living in the same place and you'd like it if you had some time with your friends, alone.

Loads of things you can try really.

I presumed the OP is a male he said he had a girlfriend

ash23

Denimgirl wrote: »

I presumed the OP is a male he said he had a girlfriend

Durrrr....I shouldn't speed read

Some still stands.....get him into a sport or find him some buddies from work. Encourage him to date. Or talk to him and tell him yourself and the girlfriend want some time together.

Forest Master

It did come across like the OP was a girl, though. "Met a bloke & travelled together, had fun, moved in together, seeing too much of each other now, how do I end it?, etc."