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Am I just backwards?

  • 13-05-2010 4:11pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Is there any need for my mother in law to hang around with the mother of my OH's kid?
    She has no problem slating her evertime I speak to her (I never make comments about OH's ex, ever) but is all of a sudden going on days out ect with her. (ex keeps making arrangments)
    I have no problem with them talking or being friendly (obviously) but the recent best pal thing is getting to me.

    What is the norm on these sittuations???
    Is it the normal for the mother of your OH's kid to be part of the family 4 years after split?
    Just to clarify OH and ex only dated for a short while. He split with her and has no interest in her. I don't think she likes him anymore either (different story 2 years ago though).
    MIL sees the kid a few days a week so extra time is not an issue?

    Basicly I understand ex is mother of OH's kid therefore there will always be contact. I have no problem with that. I can even live with the fact that she is mentioned at least 4/5 times a day. But does she really have to be part of the family? I just really want to get on with our lives and have some boundries.

    I'm I being unreasonable?


Comments

  • #2
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,917 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    MIL hell wrote: »
    Is it the normal for the mother of your OH's kid to be part of the family 4 years after split?

    There is really no 'normal' in these situations but that seems like a perfectly reasonable scenario to me. Your OH and his child's mother are a family. And she and your mother-in-law are too. They are mother and grandmother to the same child, that makes them family. It's good for the child that they have a friendly relationship. I know it can suck for you but unfortunately this is just something you will have to learn to deal with as long as you want to be with your OH.


  • #3
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    i think that its kind of nice for the child though - good relations between all the adults in the kids life can only be a good thing, right?

    from the grannys point of view, this woman gives her lots of time with her grandchild. she would be an idiot to rock that boat.

    i think to be honest, because there is a kid involved, its likely that she will always be around, and part of the family as a result of the child.

    i would stay out of it and be grateful that your OH has an ex who sounds mature enough to know that good relationships with her childs family are important and is not a headwrecking crazy ex like load of dads out there have to cope with.


  • #4
    StillWaters
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭StillWaters


    MIL hell wrote: »
    Is it the normal for the mother of your OH's kid to be part of the family 4 years after split?

    Yes that would be normal where adults involved are mature, reasonable and have the child's interests at heart.

    It sounds great, often there is someone in there rocking the boat and causing trouble, be it the mother, granny or new woman on the scene. In this case both the mother and granny seem to be handling it very well.


  • #5
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    I'm still good friends with my exs mother and family. Me and him just about get on for the sake of my daughter but contact is minimal.

    However me and his mother get on great, I often go to see her and she comes to see me. We talk on the phone once a week or so and she babysits when I ask her.

    You need to suck it up OP. This is what happens when you get with someone who has a child.


  • #6
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    MIL hell wrote: »
    I'm I being unreasonable?

    Quite frankly, yes.

    Just because your boyfriend is no longer with her doesn't mean his mother can't be friends with her. She is the mother of her grandchild, always will be. You have no say in what she does or who she's friends with.


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