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Families...

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  • 13-05-2010 2:38pm
    #1
    Sally2006
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭


    Hi, I'm new to Boards but looking for some impartial advice...

    Had a BBQ last Sunday - invited the folks and brother and his wife & kids. Folks showed up brother didn't - earlier in the day an acquaintance of his had died and his pregnant wife wasn't well. We're about to serve food when father gets a call from brother to drop him to the local pub, 10 minute walk away to join the lads - other friends of the guy who died. I have to stress at this point that brother was not close to the poor guy, was just jumping on the all day session wagon.
    Father goes running to give him the lift, meanwhile food is going cold back at my place - I'm not impressed.
    Father arrives back and shortly after food finished, brothers wife phones mother looking for a hand with the kids. Parents drop all and run immediately to brothers house.

    I feel that after the trouble and expense we went to the day was ruined. Was really annoyed and rang brother to express this the following day. He's now not talking to me nor are parents as they think I'm being too harsh seen as brother's acquaintance died and his wife wasn't well. My problem is that brother barely knew the guy and wife has huge family all around - why didn't she call on them instead of disturbing a pre-arranged day?

    I'm so hurt that I'm being ignored - should I be the one apologising?


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    #2
    davyjose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,287 ✭✭✭davyjose


    Absolutely. TBH, I can see why you're p!ssed off at your brother. but at the end of the day, a friend of his died. It might not be a close friend, but you really can't decide his priorities for him.
    If you had a problem, it should have been with your dad for dropping him to the pub. That seems a bit unfair, but it was your Dad who left. And it was your parent's who left later in the day. your brother gave his valid reason. And tbh, his pregnant wife needs help, and you're angry over it?

    it sounds like "one of those things", and you needed someone to take it out on, so you chose your brother.


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    #3
    Sally2006
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭Sally2006


    I agree I shouldn't have taken it out on him for my Dad leaving. It was my brother who chose to leave his unwell pregnant wife to look after two other children - clearly she wasn't his priority. I don't see why my parents had to be drafted in because of that.


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    #4
    Whispered
    Registered Users Posts: 14,772 ✭✭✭✭Whispered


    Your parents are adults who chose to go. You should be annoyed at them.


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    #5
    davyjose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,287 ✭✭✭davyjose


    Sally2006 wrote: »
    I agree I shouldn't have taken it out on him for my Dad leaving. It was my brother who chose to leave his unwell pregnant wife to look after two other children - clearly she wasn't his priority. I don't see why my parents had to be drafted in because of that.

    Well that's between him and her. But either way, you're laying into your brother because you don't like the decisions other people made. whatever about who's right or wrong, can you not see how that would make you look to your family?


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