What parenting books do you recommend?

Parenthood

I find that as my girls develop my usual strategies stop working, and I have to reinvent myself again. I'll check forums, read books and search the net.

My current parenting guru is Dr. Christopher Green, and his book "Beyond Toddlerdom" is keeping me sane. Same as the previous one did when my twins hit the terrible twos.

Wondering what parenting books you recommend, and why?

Grawns

I'm still on "What to expect the toddler years" It's okay but Bridget is a very easy girl so far. Don't know what I will do when she starts acting up big time but I certainly will check out " Beyond toddlerdom"

Have found my own parenting style at this stage and it's a mix of styles that suits us both. I'm like a hippy headmistress and she's the A student with minor authority issues

shell42970

Two of my favorite parenting books are "Your Baby and Child", by Penelope Leach, and "Parenting by Heart", by Dr. Ron Taffel and Melinda Blau. The first book covers from birth to about age 5 and the second covers from about age 7 until age 18. I liked both books very much because as a new and young parent many years ago whose own parents weren't ideal role models, they provided for me sound advice that respected both the individuality of the child and the need for the parent to do their parenting job. Taffel's book also features lots of case studies to illustrate what was going wrong in the parent-child relationship and how a change in approach made a positive difference for both parties. I have a healthy, successful, well-adjusted, and happy 19 year old now thanks in large part to the help these books offered.

For the parents of boys of all ages, I also recommend "Raising Cain", by Michael Thompson, PhD and Daniel Kindlon, PhD. This was a great resource for me (a woman) into the often misunderstood and neglected emotional life of boys, and how we as parents and a society can better understand, connect with, and respect the unique emotional wiring they're born with. Helped me understand my husband more, too!

For the parents of pre-teen to teenage girls, I've heard great things about (but haven't read) "Reviving Ophelia", by Mary Pipher.

Terpsichore

I know it's a serious subject, but like most serious subjects, a bit of humour can go quite a long way. I recommend "How not to be a perfect Mum" by Libby Purves. A breath of fresh air!
Because I believe in good old common sense, and I don't think that a Phd writer can always be of great practical advice...
I like to mix my inspiration sources!

Parenthood

Does anyone follow Gina Ford?
Her strict style doesn't suit me at all, but I always wondered how parents use her parenting advice in real life.

Banjo

The Baby Owners Manual by Dr Louis Borgenicht (and his son) is a fun way of getting the dad to do his fair share of reading up on stuff. It mainly covers the basics of caring for a baby in it's first couple of years, but it's presented as if the baby is a new stereo or car - it's all diagrams and "warranty" info. It's not a substitute for the "what to expect..." series - there's more attention paid to the humour than the content - but like most men I knew pretty much nothing (well, I knew how to make one, but that's where my interest in the subject ended ) and this book at least got me on the path to enlightenment.

TargetWidow

I followed Gina Ford for routines and weaning. Worked a treat for us. I had no-one to turn to for help and advice and my faith in my ability to be a good mam wasn't great (no role models-long story). I know the routines sound strict, and they are for the first 6 months, but after that things change and you can be alot more flexible. It's 6 months of applying yourself and hopefully if you are lucky you end up with a baby who sleeps and feeds well, and who KNOWS you will look after their every need before they even think of crying, so they don't really cry much. That was the bit I love the most. Since their every need is accounted for before they ask, they become these really calm little bundles that, despite the fact that everything is so regimented, you can really enjoy, because you aren't trying to figure out whether it's hunger or sleep or wind.. and you are going to be up to your eyeballs anyway with naps and nappies and feeding when you have a baby, you may as well have a plan and then you can actually have a bit of a life yourself because you know when everything is going to be happening.

My daughter was the first Gina baby her creche had ever encountered. All credit to them, I warned them that I was hoping to maintain as much of her routine for as long as possible and sounded out how they would help me with that. They were fabulous. i printed up a copy for the baby room and they stuck to it like glue and thought it made her very easy to look after, because she was so predictable. They now recommend Gina's routines and point to my little girl as an example of how it can work.

To this day aged 2, she sleeps 7 pm to 7 am weekdays, and 8 pm to 8 or 9 weekends. I have only ever had two nights when I had to go to her in the night. She eats EVERYTHING and is very adventurous about food. She drinks from a cup with no lid. She gave up the dodie over a year ago. She plays well with other children, and can play happily alone for an hour or two at home. She is currently beginning to express an interest in potty training herself. I am off work in 5 weeks for 6 months maternity leave and we will see how that goes, but I honestly don't expect to encounter any problems.

I am due our second baby in July and I will use the Gina routines again. As much for the practical little tips about how to do a swaddle properly or why a gro-bag is a good idea as for the routines. People criticize her unfairly in my opinion, if it hasn't worked for them then fair enough. It hasn't worked. But there are women and babies and daddies like in our house where it works a treat. I think it's as much about parenting style as anything. Some people function perfectly going through life without planning or knowing what is going to happen from one minute to the next. It's how I was raised and it's not something I want for my children. I want them to feel safe and secure and like their needs will always be met, and that they won't need to cry to make that happen. The routines do accomplish that for me. And yes I probably am an Alpha type and that's just who I am. As all parents do, I need to feel like I am doing the very best I possibly can for my children. What works for anyone else is good for them, and I would never dream of criticizing them or the technique. I am always fascinated by the zeal with which people attack the Gina techniques, and the vehemence with which they refer to how strict it is. I loved being told to have a meal now, because I would have ploughed on doing unnecessary housework if I didn't actually schedule our mealtimes!

One other theory I tried was the Dunstan Baby Language dvd, not sure if it's the right name or not, but it was great. Teaches you the sounds of a newborn's different cries very quickly so you can tell the difference between hunger and tiredness, discomfort and wind etc. Didn't really need it in the end but I have taught it to a few others since who have found it invaluable. Not really a parenting methodology but for toddler serenity (in me, not her) I often find myself referring to Dr Greens famous Toddler Taming, recommended to me by my GP. A lovely practical book which does not bully parents and constantly seeks to reassure you that you are doing a fine job. He is the doctor (originally from Belfast but now in Australia) who invented the original Crying Down Method, and this book explains how to implement it properly. It is amazing.

Nevyn

Different parenting styles and routines work for best for different people.
While a general discussion on books and the differences in the styles is welcome
Ms Gina Forde is known to be litigious when it comes to people expressing their dislike of her books and her self online.

car crazy

hi girls (new to this forum)

i am currently reading tissie hall-save our sleep , i have an 11wk old little girl and have found some of her advice helpful then the rest im kind of learning for myself or using good oul "google"...i believe tizzie does be on ireland am but have never watched her, my cousin has used the gina ford books and a couple of girls i know but some dont believe in her methods? so not sure....

Grawns

I found this book invaluable for the first couple of months. Highly recommended for understanding your tiny new babies needs and development especially when you are exhausted from the birth and sleep deprivation. Bite size weekly chunks and very accurate. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Baby-Week-Ultimate-Caring/dp/0091910552

bogtotty

I like the 'what to expect' series but don't really take any of them too seriously - every baby is different and will have their own rhythm. I find Gina Ford hilarious, none of her methods work for me, but some parents swear by them so she can't be completely bad.

Re. Tizzy Hall, I would advise breastfeeding parents to avoid her like the plague. Some of the techniques she advocates go against best practise.