No make-up...

LegacyUser

So I'm female and late 30's. Recently, due to one reason or another, I have been going to work/shops etc with no make up. Not a big deal right - but it is having a huge impact on my self esteem. It made me realise that I probably haven't gone outside my door since I was 18 with absolutely NO make up at all. I have rarely, if ever, gone outside my door without mascara or lipstick.
So I'm reasonably confident, good life, own home, single. And I have to tell you, I feel like the ugliest woman in the world with no make up. I am amazed by myself. Even in the shops today, a man was talking to me and all I could think was 'Ive no make up on, he thinks Im in tatters'. It's like all I can think of. People have commented that I look tired, or hungover. I'm neither, I want to scream, I just have no make up on!!!
Almost as an experiment, I havent worn make up in almost two weeks - I thought I would begin to love myself without it in public. No way - I cant even look at myself in the mirror out in public now (in a shop or whatever).
While this might not be the worst problem in the world, it is really affecting my self esteem. Yes, I should probably just put on some mascara or lipstick..but honestly, I didn't realise that I was hiding behind this mask. Have any of you other women out there experienced this, and do any of you men even SEE make up, or lack of, on a woman???

Yv

You'll get used to it - I ran out of foundation for a few weeks there and it felt a bit uncomfortable at first (I don't wear makeup during the day, but it was strange going out in the evenings without any on). This may sound like a strange suggestion, but get a good facial, & with your skin in such great condition you'll feel far more confident without makeup.

Oh, & from my experience, men hardly notice makeup at all - it's my dolled-up female friends that make me feel I should wear it!

Contessa Raven

Hi OP,

I think alot of women hide behind make-up. Why? I'm not so sure. You could blame the media's portrayal of "beautiful" women or you could blame women of today who enforce the idea of: 'she's not wearing make-up?? I could never do that! I'd feel so ugly.'
It is seen as normal to wear make-up as part of everyday life but back in my parents generation, women only wore it for a night out or a special occasion.

I think you need to ask yourself why you wear make-up everyday as that may be the route to your self-esteem plummeting.

I don't wear any make-up apart from mascara and eyeliner. I'd usually wear it on a daily basis but I prob go 2 days a week where I don't have the time or the inclination to bother. I have been asked a few times "Jesus, you look sick! Are you alright?" "You're looking very pale today." It's normal. If people see you with make-up everyday, they'll come to expect it on you and if you don't wear it, people often assume the worst. "She must be sick, she didn't bother putting her face on this morning."

I very much doubt you look bad. You just look different. And people don't know what to say when they're faced with something out of the norm.

I doubt it's actually a reflection on your appearance. It is probably you being paranoid because you feel exposed.

CR

LegacyUser

See Contessa, you just said 'I don't wear any make up...apart from mascara & eyeliner'.
So you DO wear make up.

I don't wear a huge amount of it on a daily basis normally either - in fact havent worn foundation in a long time, since I discovered those moisturisers with tan included. I usally just wear a bit of blusher, mascara and lipstick. That's all. Takes about 3 minutes. Its not like I cake it on.
I realy didn't realise that I needed to question the reason I wore it...I just wear it, coz it's what I do. It's my morning routine to face the world.
Today, I needed to buy a new top (Ive something on at the weekend). I couldnt even fit anything on in the shop, because I felt so crap. I felt like I was grey and ugly. There was no hope I could have looked in a mirror at myself. I am just shocked at myself and my attitude towards a bit of mascara.

Miss Fluff

This "hiding behind a mask" is total bull%****. I'm a make up artist and cosmetics are merely an aid to making women feel and look more glamorous. I wear make up every day. I don't trowel it on, but take pride and enjoyment in applying it.

The idea behind make up is to accentuate what is beautiful about you. So smokey eyes for a seductive night-time look, a bit of blusher to accentuate the cheek-bones and so on. If it's making you that miserable not wearing any go and buy some for goodness sake!

Sorry but really not buying into this whole mask business. Is that the same as saying anyone who wears high heels or boots has a deep-rooted insecurity about looking like a hobbit if they wear flats?

John Mason

i rarely wear make-up.

its just a state mind, if you dont want to wear it anymore, then just stop but if you are not happy going without make up then why are you ?

you will get used to it and people will stop commenting on you looking sick, its just because they are not used to you wearing no make up.

people are always really shocked when i wear make up and make loads of comments

LegacyUser

By far the majority of men don't like make up on women. Girls who paint themselves bright orange, or have a face like a plastered wall, or far too much eye shadow or lipstick are one thing, but many men find even just a small bit of make up a turn OFF. Personally I hate make up in all it's forms, and I love a woman with fresh natural skin, pimples and all!

I have an idea that women wear make up to compete with other women, but not to impress men. If they wanted to impress men, they would wear less, not more. I am sure you are perfectly lovely without make up, and your fears are all in the mind.

I wish women would have more confidence in themselves, and have more respect for their bodies and their complexions, and throw away all that make up for good! In 99% of cases it looks horrible and trashy, no matter how many hours were spent applying it. There's a male opinion for you!

Des Carter

If not wearing make-up bothers you so much then why dont you ya know... wear make-up

problem solved

LegacyUser

Look, I said at the begining of this that I know how easy it is to 'fix' this issue. Just reapply the make up and hey presto.
But I also said im shocked at my own attitude towards myself in a mirror, in a shop, with no make up. Thats my issue.
Yes, I can absolutely put the make up back on in the morning.
But as someone said 'People will get used to asking you if you're sick'
I dont want anyone to think im sick!!!
I just want to be me...and thought I was me until I stopped the mascara!!
I suppose Im just questioning the whole 'mask' thing, which I do buy into by the way.
Of course it's been my mask. Never wore it till i was twenty....

Beetlebum

OP I can relate to what you're saying 100% even down to the changing room mirrors. I get the exact same thing!

If I'm out without any make up on and I meet someone I know and we have a chat all I can think of is 'Oh my God, they think I'm so ugly...aahhhh...I'm hideous...they're straing at my ugly face!!'. It's completely ridiculous but that's how I feel and I always walk away feeling awful about myself.

I'm 28 years old and get a lot of attention from men (when I'm wearing make up) and very little when I'm not. I don't wear much at all, just smokey eyeshadow on nights out to accentuate my eyes and some mascara during the day but it makes a huge difference to how I feel about myself.

I feel that people compliment me more and I get more attention when I'm wearing make up but I think it's because I exude confidence!!

It's all about confidence OP. Just as people aren't used to seeing you without make up, you're not used to it either but you'll get used to it.

My sister treked across the Inca Trail and didn't have access to a mirror for 2 whole weeks. She said it was sooooo liberating and freeing that she decided to bin all her make up. She scored a few guys on that trip who all thought she was beautiful (she is too but she never believed that before!).

If you are smiley and confident you will be beautiful OP but also, make up is wonderful so just enjoy it and as Miss Fluff said use it to accentuate your beauty and to feel glamorous. Make up is amazing and is there to be enjoyed!

Memnoch

My wife has said to me a few times that I tend to pay her more compliments without her make-up than when she has it on. Honestly, I didn't realise I was doing that. I just think she looks great no matter what.

iguana

Why exactly did you decide to try this experiment? What was the reason behind it? Is it important to you to learn to feel comfortable without wearing make-up? If so, then I think you got some of the best advice in the first reply. Get a decent facial, maybe get your eyebrows threaded and your eye-lashes tinted. Then get your hair styled nicely so you feel confident. Try including some gentle exercise in your morning routine so your skin glows naturally. How you feel has a huge impact on how you look. If you are feeling unhappy, paranoid and unsure of yourself is it any wonder that people think you look tired/hungover? I suspect their comments have more to do with your state of mind than the lack of make-up on your skin.

I do think what you are doing is important. When I typed out the third question on this post I had to delete and re-type it several times as it felt ridiculous. Of course it should be important to feel comfortable without wearing make-up. It's your face, you should be able to wear it comfortably if not with pride. Least of all as we get older no make-up on earth can hide how our faces change. If you can't be comfortable with how you look now in your 30s how will you cope when you are 80?

I almost never wear make-up. And when I say that I mean it. The last time I wore any was new years eve and I will probably wear some this month for a wedding I'm going to. I find it to be a pain in the arsé. It's annoying to apply and even more annoying to wash off. It's ok for wearing sometimes when you want to be extra dressed up but as a daily routine, tbh, I'd rather never, ever have make-up than have to wear it everyday. And long-term all of that messing about with your skin is very ageing.

liah

I don't know about the rest of the thread but the men saying they prefer women with no makeup aren't exactly being realistic. They prefer SOME women (aka, clear-skinned women with perfect bone structure and thick, dark lashes) without it, but those women are definitely the minority! I know I'm more attractive with makeup as I have light, thin eyelashes that look better with mascara, an eye shape that is too rounded so needs to be lengthened with eyeshadow/eyeliner, and very sensitive skin that goes red around my mouth when even very lightly touched or when I eat so I need to use foundation or concealer to take out the redness.

Sure, I'd still be a moderately attractive girl without makeup, but I look better with well-applied makeup, and if a man denies that, he's just plain lying.

I guarantee you that if all women stopped wearing makeup without telling men, men would start thinking women as a gender started randomly getting uglier. For some reason men think makeup = orange skin and massive amounts of eyeshadow/liner and any other way is natural. It ain't like that.

Besides, using makeup is the same as using a bra to enhance your cleavage, clothes that enhance your figure, hairstyles that suit your face shape-- all these things make you a little bit less "real" to the viewing public, but I don't think many of you see the same stigma around them as you do makeup. I don't get why it's such a big deal, if you're going to stop that, why not stop the rest?

Eve_Dublin

Miss Fluff wrote: »

This "hiding behind a mask" is total bull%****. I'm a make up artist and cosmetics are merely an aid to making women feel and look more glamorous. I wear make up every day. I don't trowel it on, but take pride and enjoyment in applying it.

The idea behind make up is to accentuate what is beautiful about you. So smokey eyes for a seductive night-time look, a bit of blusher to accentuate the cheek-bones and so on. If it's making you that miserable not wearing any go and buy some for goodness sake!

Sorry but really not buying into this whole mask business. Is that the same as saying anyone who wears high heels or boots has a deep-rooted insecurity about looking like a hobbit if they wear flats?

I believe it can definitely be a mask for some women though. If you can´t leave the house without it and feel ugly if you do, then there´s something wrong there. You can´t tell me there´s not something wrong with that, Miss Fluff? I would agree that most women wear it just to accentuate their best attributes though

Eve_Dublin

I have a funny attitude to make-up to be honest. I only wear a little bit of mascara because I´m blonde so my eyelashes are a blonde and invisible. Now I know some women are going to have a go at me for saying this but this is just how I personally feel: I always liked the idea of someone being attracted to me for my natural self...how I looked in the flesh without a layer of something else on top. I always felt that if they fancied me with make up on, then they didn´t really fancy ME, so I never really wore it except the mascara (which I know is make up but I´m happy enough not to wear it...could take it or leave it). Perhaps it´s vanity on my part that I think I look decent without it or just down to the fact that I´m used to myself without it so I don´t miss it.

I do think there´s an attitude among some women that you´re not totally "dressed up" or looking your best of your not wearing make up. My sister
teases me sometimes for not wearing it and when I bought a lipstick to wear to a wedding a few weeks ago, she applauded me for becoming a "proper girl" at last (disclaimer:I love my sister and she meant no harm). It´s whatever you feel comfortable in though, isn´t it?

However, to the guy who says men generally don´t like women wearing make up, that´s absolute poo. When I bought the lipstick, the girl at the counter did the rest of my make up for me (was curious to see how I looked)...I felt incredibly self concious but I got a lot of attention from men on the street(I live in Spain...not afraid to show their appreciation), a lot more than I normally would.

It´s just what you´re comfortable with. Good advice from posters suggesting you take good care of your face if you want to keep it bare. I´m meticulous with my skin care regime and thanks to not wearing make up for years, my skin is still in decent nick.

blairbear

I can never understand why some people view make-up and wearing make-up/tan etc as something to be ashamed of.

I LOVE make-up. I'm nearly 27 now and I've worn it absolutely everyday, unless it's a day when I don't leave the house, since I was 13. I don't have low self-esteem and I don't hate myself without it. Every boyfriend I've had has seen me without it, as have most of my friends. They think I look very pretty without it, but yeah, of course it takes adjusting to. Everyday I wear foundation, concealer, blusher, eyeshadow, eyebrow pencil, mascara, liquid eyeliner, lip gloss and sometimes fake eyelashes if it takes my fancy. I never get told I wear too much make-up, because I know how to put it on properly. I look much better with it on than off and that's fine by me. Only takes me ten minutes at this stage anyway. Make-up is SO much fun and should be enjoyed and experimented with, I think!

As for men, the only comments I've gotten regarding my make-up is that it looks great and it's nice I put an effort in. But that would be a very rare comment because I wear my make-up; it doesn't wear me.

It's NOT ageing to wear make-up on a regular basis. It protects your skin from the sun. The sun and smoking are the two most ageing factors for our skin. I went to the third world for four months and wore make-up everyday, albeit less, and I was the only one in my group who never got sunburned, despite the fact they all wore sunblock. Joan Collins looks like she's in her forties and she puts it all down to the protective effect of foundation on her face everyday.

Everyone who regularly wears make-up isn't going to be overly enamoured with their make-up free face in shop mirrors etc. It doesn't mean you've any crippling self-esteem problems. It's very normal. Sure, Angelina Jolie and Cheryl Cole wear make-up everyday; that doesn't mean they think they're ugly without it. It's just about feeling good about yourself, looking polished and glamorous.

If it makes you feel better, isn't hurting you or anyone else, why stop?

ash23

I have spots. And red splotches on my skin (patchy colouring). I've dark circles under my eyes.

The amount of makeup I wear depends on how crappy I look when I wake up.

Some mornings my skin is clear and i put on moisturiser and a dab of concealer and I'm happy.
Other days I spend ages trying to even out my skin tone, cover up the cluster of zits on my chin and mask the luggage bags under my eyes.

I don't like knowing I don't look my best. And I do think hiding my flaws makes me look better.
I don't bother with eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara or lipstick/gloss unless it's for a night out.

kjl

I know a girl who is a model, and when she takes off the make up she is just normal, in fact she has red lines all over her face, I slag her off about it and she just laughs. Just get over yourself.

Eve_Dublin

kjl wrote: »

I know a girl who is a model, and when she takes off the make up she is just normal, in fact she has red lines all over her face, I slag her off about it and she just laughs. Just get over yourself.

Sound. With friends like that...

blairbear

kjl wrote: »

I know a girl who is a model, and when she takes off the make up she is just normal, in fact she has red lines all over her face, I slag her off about it and she just laughs. Just get over yourself.

"Get over yourself"? Hardly constructive advice or a helpful opinion. And slagging people on their complexion might be met with good humour on the surface, but I don't know any girl who'd like their friend to laugh at the "red lines all over her face".

iguana

blairbear wrote: »

Joan Collins looks like she's in her forties and she puts it all down to the protective effect of foundation on her face everyday.

What, have you ever met a woman in her 40s? As that is not what Joan Collins looks like. Collins was on the news on Thursday night and she looked like an overly made-up woman in her 70s/80s. It's amazing what airbrushing can do when you are not on live television.

blairbear

iguana wrote: »

What, have you ever met a woman in her 40s? As that is not what Joan Collins looks like. Collins was on the news on Thursday night and she looked like an overly made-up woman in her 70s/80s. It's amazing what airbrushing can do when you are not on live television.

I saw her on Piers Morgan recently and thought she looked amazing. Maybe 50's then but nowhere near her age. She's still a really good-looking woman. Just what I thought. Either way, wearing make-up protects your skin from the elements and cannot, as a single factor, age it.

pollypocket10

OP like you I would normally wear make-up every day since I was in my teens. The odd time I go without I look deathly pale and I just put it down to the fact that my skin isn't being exposed to the light enough so I suppose I do kind of look a bit ill.

If you are uncomfortable without then I say just wear it, women have been enhancing how they look for thousands of years... first evidence of it was something like 4000 BC so just go with it.

I also think that this thing about Men not liking women with make-up is BS. They wouldn't even cop on that most women are wearing make-up if it's applied correctly, they just don't like the drag queen look. I was with a group of friends in Glasgow last year and we met Cheryl Cole/Tweedy (whatever) with no make up. The guys felt awfully let down, couldn't get over how normal she was and all felt that they knew people who were much better looking than her having seen her in the flesh. IMO she was still very pretty though.

LegacyUser

Wow my post got legs today ! Firstly, the reason I couldnt wear make up was because I had an accident that resulted in me having to wear a bandage on my cheek..gradually, the bandage got smaller and I'm fine now, but I havent been able to wear make up because of the scar. Anyway, I dont believe men either when they say they dont notice if a woman is wearing make up or not - I really dont. Like someone else said, my old boyfriend would always compliment me more when I wore some, than when I didnt.
I was just surprised at myself, and my reaction to myself..I thought I was realy confident..and it turns out the real me, is not after all!!

LegacyUser

pollypocket10 wrote: »

OP like you I would normally wear make-up every day since I was in my teens. The odd time I go without I look deathly pale and I just put it down to the fact that my skin isn't being exposed to the light enough so I suppose I do kind of look a bit ill.

If you are uncomfortable without then I say just wear it, women have been enhancing how they look for thousands of years... first evidence of it was something like 4000 BC so just go with it.

I also think that this thing about Men not liking women with make-up is BS. They wouldn't even cop on that most women are wearing make-up if it's applied correctly, they just don't like the drag queen look. I was with a group of friends in Glasgow last year and we met Cheryl Cole/Tweedy (whatever) with no make up. The guys felt awfully let down, couldn't get over how normal she was and all felt that they knew people who were much better looking than her having seen her in the flesh. IMO she was still very pretty though.

Completely agree with this post. I don't understand the ops issue at all. Sure if you wear make up everyday you will be pale as your skin isn't exposed to the sun, is that not common sense? Maybe people just didn't realise you were wearing it before as it was expertly applied! I would say very few people have perfect skin. I know I don't and so wear foundation when I am going out and about. That way I don't have to look at any blemishes i might be sporting that day. I don't feel I'm wearing a mask just correcting imperfections that I can.
If you decide you don't want to wear make up anymore than so be it, people will get used to not wearing, also you might get a bit colour if we ever get any sun! You could just get regular facials as well if you feel your complexion isn't at its best. They're great anyway just to relax!
I really don't see make up as a mask though I just see it as a way to put my best self forward as I look a lot better with foundation, IMO anyway. My skin is just something I have problems with, although by getting regular facials and treating it kinder its improving a lot!! I have dark lashes and don't feel the need for any other type of make up, unless i'm on a night out in which case I love trying stuff out.
IMO too men not liking make up is BS, they just dislike badly applied make up.

JuliusCaesar

The reason why a lot of people have difficulty going without makeup, but it doesn't seem as if the OP has this.

Ever2010

OP maybe people tell you that you look tired or whatever is because they're used to seeing you with make-up on! I remember staring at a girl I used to work with not knowing why she looked so different, then I copped it was that she was wearing no eye-liner, she used to cake it on every day - so she looked weird without it.

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

This "hiding behind a mask" is total bull%****. I'm a make up artist and cosmetics are merely an aid to making women feel and look more glamorous. I wear make up every day. I don't trowel it on, but take pride and enjoyment in applying it.

The idea behind make up is to accentuate what is beautiful about you. So smokey eyes for a seductive night-time look, a bit of blusher to accentuate the cheek-bones and so on. If it's making you that miserable not wearing any go and buy some for goodness sake!

Sorry but really not buying into this whole mask business. Is that the same as saying anyone who wears high heels or boots has a deep-rooted insecurity about looking like a hobbit if they wear flats?

I don't wear make-up almost ever - my beauty and whether or not I've accentuated it just isn't the focus of my day. I couldn't care less if people wear make-up but I do think everyone should be comfortable in their own skin without make-up and be able to run to the store without feeling self conscious or uncomfortable. I think that is a self esteem / confidence thing. And yes I would feel the same way about someone who could not be seen without high heels on - wear them if you want to but you should be comfortable without them.

And the only comments I get about not wearing make-up are from other women - and honestly I couldn't care less that they judge me for leaving the house without making my eyes look seductive or my cheek bones stand out.

kjl

blairbear wrote: »

"Get over yourself"? Hardly constructive advice or a helpful opinion. And slagging people on their complexion might be met with good humour on the surface, but I don't know any girl who'd like their friend to laugh at the "red lines all over her face".

I assure you my friend can handel it.

parker kent

liah wrote: »

I don't know about the rest of the thread but the men saying they prefer women with no makeup aren't exactly being realistic. They prefer SOME women (aka, clear-skinned women with perfect bone structure and thick, dark lashes) without it, but those women are definitely the minority! I know I'm more attractive with makeup as I have light, thin eyelashes that look better with mascara, an eye shape that is too rounded so needs to be lengthened with eyeshadow/eyeliner, and very sensitive skin that goes red around my mouth when even very lightly touched or when I eat so I need to use foundation or concealer to take out the redness.

Sure, I'd still be a moderately attractive girl without makeup, but I look better with well-applied makeup, and if a man denies that, he's just plain lying.

I guarantee you that if all women stopped wearing makeup without telling men, men would start thinking women as a gender started randomly getting uglier. For some reason men think makeup = orange skin and massive amounts of eyeshadow/liner and any other way is natural. It ain't like that.

Besides, using makeup is the same as using a bra to enhance your cleavage, clothes that enhance your figure, hairstyles that suit your face shape-- all these things make you a little bit less "real" to the viewing public, but I don't think many of you see the same stigma around them as you do makeup. I don't get why it's such a big deal, if you're going to stop that, why not stop the rest?

I think you are doing a disservice to men there. Not all men equate make-up with orange skin and not all men are clueless about make-up. Now whilst I would not elbow you aside and be able to perfectly put it on for you, I can still tell the difference between a girl wearing make-up and not wearing any. I am being 100% honest when I say that I am passé about whether they wear it or not. Plus (and I don't mean to be crude!) plenty of men are much more interested in other body parts than to worry about whether your cheekbones or eyelashes are being accentuated to the max! (factor:D)

Often girls see benefits that are marginal to say the least. I can appreciate the advantages it gives and it can look well when applied correctly, but I do not see the need for it to be put on every day. A few girls I know only wear it on nights out. I don't think that they are hideous to look at or that they are much uglier than when they wear make-up. What I like in girls cannot be created by make-up. Make-up can only enhance what is already there. So if a girl feels good when wearing it, she should realise that it is her face that looks good and not the combination of chemicals etc she has just put on her face.

All the girls that I have liked, I have felt the very same way about them when they have no make-up on. Ditto for high-heels, great clothes etc. Sure they look great in good stuff, but she is still the same girl in grey sweatpants sitting in front of the TV.

If a girl always leaves the house with make-up, there is no room for improvement for nights out/special occasions. But a girl that rarely wears any, will have the chance to dazzle a little more when wearing it. Now this does not mean that she has turned into a swan from an ugly duckling, but that she just looks a little enhanced. No different to how girls feel when a guy wears a suit or tux. Same guy, just well presented. The wow factor of a suit or tux would decrease severely if he wore that every time he left the house.

I would say to the OP, use it for confidence by all means, but don't use it as a crutch. If you think you loom good with make-up, then I'm 95% sure you look good without any. There should be no need to feel bad about not wearing make-up.

gubbie

Unregistered wrote: »

People have commented that I look tired, or hungover. I'm neither, I want to scream, I just have no make up on!!!

I get this! I have pretty red skin so if I go out without foundation I get "You're burned". I feel like screaming back How do you get burned in February!