Felt-spec

gofaster_s13

Felt-Spec
(stolen shamelessy from another forum)



Felt spec is said to have originated in and is named after the town Magherafelt in county Derry,Ireland,if you click on the Magherafelt wiki page you will see a 'felt spec golf in the town centre picture - brilliant!

'Felt spec is the art of badly modifying a VAG diesel car.

THE CARS OF FELT
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the most popular being Audi A4,VW Bora or passat and Seat toledo.It is not quite clear why the 'original 'felt spec'ers choose these cars to start with but it is probably down to the world beating performance of the TDI lump,lets examine some of the positives the 'felt spec'ers might have found appealing

- So much torque that the word torque was actually invented to describe this engine.

- Tow bar friendly,an essential 'felt spec accessory as most 'felters are farmers by day

- The ultimate Q car.

- Sits 4 farmers comfortably,or a family of 5 en route to GAA match,rally event or truck or bike show

- As we have found out this year neither the big freeze nor the big floods (i.e the lord himself) could stop this engine.

- large rear windscreen for macra na feirme sticker and local GAA club membership sticker,or that 3 ft by 3 ft VW/Audi decal just in case we were unaware.

- Le mans winning technology involved in the R&D of the mighty in 4 cyl lump.

- A simple re-map will make the car eligible for the BTCC

In the interest of fairness let's examine some of the negatives (yes i know even the great aren't perfect)

Probably the most imitated car on the road,you will no doubt see 10 other 'wanna be' TDI's with fake red badges on your daily commute.(but this will lend itself to a certain smugness factor knowing you are driving the real deal) Dual mass flywheels are an issue,but look at the torque figures! even mother earth gives tectonic plate trouble - you can't try and tap such power without consequences!

THE ART OF FELT
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So how does a novice identify a felt spec car you ask? well common 'felt spec attributes are as follows:

- over sized sun visors: the rule of 'felt states that the gap between the bottom of your sunvisor and the bottom of the windscreen should be equal to the distance between your wrist and your elbow.Some 'felters will also choose to incorporate a catchy slogan on their sun visor such as 'Drive her like yer late for mass' or 'driveher like its stolen'

- wind deflectors: wind deflectors are a must on a 'felt spec car.The rule of 'felt states "he who tries to smoke a fag while crusing with 320 ft lbs of torque under the bonnet will get burnt"

- Yellow rear reg plates: one of the most identifiable traits of a 'felt spec car even amongst their southern 'brothers in VAG',the most popular county for this is Donegal which believe it or not has more Yellow plates per head of population that London.

- Lowered suspension: The more affluent 'felter will splash out on coilovers,but everyone this side of cloughjordan knows thats just crazy,take the springs out and cut them.The rule of 'felt states "thou shall not be able to see the tops of your tyres"

-Mud Flaps: Originally thought to have been an essential modification due to the farm based lifestyle of the original 'felters but now the first purchase any aspiring 'feltee should make,ditch the factroy flaps and and add scania flaps,the rule of 'felt states "Your flaps should be at all times in contact with the ground and that your tyres should last longer than your mudflaps)

-The 18" replica wheel:This is what sets the 'felter apart from the crowd,the choice of wheel is crucial in determining your status on the 'felt ladder of whack-ness,the popular choices have always been RS6 or A8 wheels (known amongst 'felters as an RS8 wheel,as apparently they are so close to the Audi inner circle that Audi let them see that holy grail of cars the Audi RS8 ). The more daring 'felt sec enthusiasts will fit a bolder wheel choice though and emerging favourites are new shape RS4 and S8 rims.Recently there has been a stunning development in the rim choice of 'felters with Merc rims appearing on VAG cars,this is a kin to Ian paisley attending an ulster final!

- The body kit: No one knows the name,some say it is a quattro kit,some say it is an Rs4 kit,whatever the name the bodykit is essential in a 'felters arsenal especially if they are driving an A4,the rule of 'felt states "thou bodykit shall be fibre glass,thou grilles should be chicken wire and one exhaust tip should always be fake and for show"

- Badge: The 'felter is only as big as his badge and the better the badge the bigger the micky,If you have an A4 you must stick on either an S4 badge,or an RS4 badge.The biggest offenders here are drivers of B6 A4's again here we see links between 'felt spec enthusiasts and the Audi inner circle as they and they alone were made aware of a B6 RS4.If you drive a golf then a GT badge is a must,there aint no party like a GT TDI party.



THE TALK OF FELT
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'Felters have their own language and to the outsider it can appear they are talking gobbledygook,here we go through some common 'felt spec phrases:

Lad - A person i.e you,usage: "That is some car lad" - The rule of 'felt states you should always try to finish a sentence with Lad

Lift- The application of Torque,said to arise from the way the arse of the car dips and the bonnet rises when the shoe is put it in,usage: "There is some lift out of her Lad"

Antichrist- A word use to describe a particularly fast 'felt spec machine,one which has been remapped,lowered and perhaps fitted with an induction kit,usage "There is some lift out of her lad,she's an Antichrist to go"

There you have it,i hope this article was able to answer all the questions you were always afraid to ask about 'felt spec and what is it.

TestTransmission

You mean stolen from Tossy.

gofaster_s13

TestTransmission wrote: »

You mean stolen from Tossy.

Yep, the man speaks the truth and his word shall be spread:D

Drummerboy08

It is quite funny though....

tossy

Ha ha,i created a wiki page on this and they took it down within half an hour,i even tried to argue my case but they weren't having it,surprising considering some of the crap on there,at least mine is factual

See my sig for the actual wiki screen grab.

JimmyCrackCorn

tossy wrote: »

Ha ha,i created a wiki page on this and they took it down within half an hour,i even tried to argue my case but they weren't having it,surprising considering some of the crap on there,at least mine is factual

See my sig for the actual wiki screen grab.

Well written made my day.

Gitb1

Funny read alright, but where does 'felt' come into it though? I think something might be going over my head

tossy

Felt spec is said to have originated in and is named after the town Magherafelt

TomMc

It's like a classic sit-com, no matter how many times you have seen it before, it is still funny time and time again.