Mind having a listen?

Treehere

Hi,

I just wanted to have a quick rant here and get one or two views of my situation.

I'm a paranoid person. Always have been. Though I'm better then I used to be, I'm constantly rethinking what I just said to people, continously going over peoples' reactions, facial expressions. And more then often, I come to the conclusion that I'm a horribly boring person, and not a nice person on top of that.

Fact is, I do know I'm a kind person, I listen to peoples' problems, I don't say nasty words to peoples' faces. But other people will say otherwise to that view of myself.

However, a fun person that people want to be around? I don't think so. I know I'm boring. I don't make anyone laugh. Though I try, trust me I try. And I'm so constantly wrapped up in making the other person happy, a.k.a., me being fun and appealing that I even lose track of the conversation.

People I talk to deny this, but I just can't help feeling it. Worst of all, I feel like suddenly, everyone's going to vanish because I'm not appealing enough, I can't make my friends happy or laugh enough for them to bother with me. Because I've learnt that over the years, people vanish from my radar when I'm not fun for them.

I really can't get a grip on myself sometimes. I feel like unless I hold tightly onto people, they're simply going to float away because I'm not enough, and I feel I'll never be.

Thanks for listening.

Kanoe

I do listening me. Most of us are more willing to list our faults and flaws than we are our better qualities. I can analyse things to death, its just the way I am. I think learning to accept ourselves is a process that can take years to get to grips with and it seems to be a topic that comes up a lot here. when we are happier with our lot we change the way we see ourselves and our lives can change dramatically. Personal development is the way to go about it, whether its by reading a book or finding someone who can help give us direction.

btw, I wouldnt change for anybody, hold more tightly to yourself

LegacyUser

Hi OP, Do you mind me asking roughly what age you are, I do the same myself, over analyse things a lot and for me I think when it began I was around 12 and I developed a bad case of social anxiety, have a read of this http://www.socialanxietyireland.com/generaldefsa.htm
I'm over the worst of it now but it still affects me, I had a great group of friends a few years ago (they're still my friends but I don't see them as much because I moved)...but anyway when I moved I made new friends who were not great friends at all to be honest with you and If they had been my only friends I think I would have felt truly awful about myself, now recently though I've started talking to a few new people a lot and it's funny how new people can be much more sound than you're 'friends'!
What are your interests and do your friends share the same interests?
Also one of the characteristics of people of high intelligence/ high IQs is that they overanalyse things and that thoughts and conversations replay over and over in their heads!

OnTheRun

Hi Mate, keep ya head up high!
You see everyone is made different, may it be how a person looks,walks or talks.
We are all different with different ways to think and act.
You tell that you're a boring person, why is that because you have other DIFFERENT interests, or because you dont crack a joke or two that makes ppl pee in their pants ?

Mate you need to accept your self as you are, if you don't accept your self or like your own self then who else will?

Has anyone ever told you this that ur a boring person etc ?

Denimgirl

it seems to me that you are a people pleaser! and you are wasting too much of your energy on other people!theres nithing wrong with you at all your just very low in confidence and trying too hard believe nobody gives a cr*p if you don't make them laugh as they would'nt care if they did'nt make you laugh either!You need to stop thinking like this and stop giving yourself a hard time!I would advise you to take a course on self esteem or a beginners course for acting it's so good i did it! and it really gets you out of your shell and believe me after that course you won't be paranoid about anybody!coz the excercises you do in it makes you not care what others think or if your making a fool out of yourself.go for it! you'l meet more frinds there too!