Looking for a suitable Therapist

LegacyUser

Ok, not really sure where to start with this, please bare with me.

I guess I should start with what I believe is the crux/source of my problem. As a child we didn't have much money, we lived in a council estate and never had much, it was the 80's and my father didn't have much luck with work.. I was dressed in my sister's hand me downs and I was an 'awkward' looking kid, now I know this was the case for many kids of all generations but for some reason I was singled out at school and teased mercilessly by my peers.. My Mother God bless her sent me to a school in a posh area and the other kids were quite well off.. so this didn’t help.

I had one or 2 close friends but everyone else seemed to see me as someone to poke fun at and would refuse to sit beside me/pick me for PE teams etc.. This only escalated in my late Primary School and early Secondary school years when I developed severe acne.. difficult as it is for a young girl to come to terms with developing into an adolescent, it was Hell on Earth for me..

Anyway, roll on my teens and I guess I blossomed or whatever, skin cleared up and got boyfriends etc.. but the feeling of inferiority has never left me to this day I cannot shake that feeling that people don't like me.. It's basically crippling me..

Now I'm pregnant with my first child and with a wonderful guy and ready to settle down and in many ways I am happy.. but I need to get rid of these demons once and for all..

I guess it's these past few months while I've been pregnant that I've noticed it even more.. without the 'crutch' of a few drinks at parties etc I find it very hard to engage in converation, and if I do get chatting to someone, I'll suddenly become very self aware and just hit a brick wall, and I can see it reflected in the person, they get uncomfortable and usually just turn to speak with someone else.. Sometimes I'll manage to make it through a conversation and not get self concious but it's rare I even find myself avoiding people so I don’t have to ‘hit the wall’ with them and put them on my ‘awkward’ encounter list I’m sure they just think I’m rude..

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone could recommend a good Therapist who specialises in cases like mine.. and if there's anyone else here who can relate to what I'm going through?

Please don't tell me that I need to 'look at my drinking'.. drinking is not a problem for me, I've had these demons long before I ever had a drink.. I don't miss drinking at all, I just need help with my day to day life.

Thanks for reading and for any advice..

LegacyUser

Hi

I'm not sure if I can recommend a particular therapist but I will say that I know some of what you are feeling.

I too went to a so called "posh" school. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time there on the whole. Some of my good friends are from schooldays. However, I wasn't from an area most were from and I got slagged a good bit for this. Madness now to think that someone could be slagged for being from a particular area. Anyway, I don't think the others were trying to be nasty but it really got me down sometimes. It's a few years later now and although most things are going well, there is definitely a little thing inside me that remembers that feeling - a little bit of inferiority maybe. I always seem to be the one trying to prove my worth to someone, trying to be overly friendly etc.

I haven't been to a therapist but have often thought of going to one as it gets me down at times.

It's not a nice feeling going through life feeling that you have to prove yourself to others. I think you should look up a therapist and go from there. You owe it to yourself as we only live once!

Oh and also, if the first therapist doesn't go too well, don't be disheartened. It's all about getting someone you can really open up with and connect with. I have heard really good stories of people who have gone to a therapist/counsellor for something and it has turned their lives around.

Good luck

Katgurl

well done on making decision OP. You'll never look back.

Whereabouts are you based? I'm not sure if i'm allowed make recommendations here, you can PM me if you prefer.