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Big problem during love making.

  • 09-05-2010 9:28pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, I am a 22y old male and I have a bit of a problem when having sex with my girlfriend in that I find it very difficult to climax. I have been with 4 other sexual partners before her in the past and I had problems with them too. I just cannot seem to reach climax unless it happens to be a in a specific position and after a long time. I have been reading up on this recently and I think I have what is known as 'delayed ejaculation'. I also think that this is a result of years of masturbating the wrong way. I read that some males develop a technique of masturbating which makes it difficult to experience similar sensations during love making. This is very frustrating for me as I have a very high sex drive and my girlfriend and I have only started making love recently. I am worried this could mess up our relationship if she thinks the problem is partly her, which it is not.
    Appreciate any advice.
    Thanjs


Comments

  • #2
    Lollipops23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    You need to calm down.I honestly believe that a huge amount of problems such as this stem from people getting worked up about them-and unless you were doing something seriously wrong (and probably painful!) when masturbating it's very unlikely you've damaged yourself.

    You're putting yourself under too much pressure here-by expecting yourself to perform and then berating yourself when you can't,you're really just making the problem worse.Stop putting such importance into this element of sex-as long as yourself and herself enjoy the experience that's all that matters. However,if you experience pain or discomfort during sex or masturbation,see a GP as soon as you can.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey dude,

    I'm in the same situation.

    In my late 30s and have very rarely cum normally - I have to resort to a lot of fantasising.

    I know what to do theour

    I don't think it's anything to do with masturbating the wrong way though - it's just that you have probably perfected a technique for yourself that gives you the most pleasure and that no one else can replicate.

    The only way to overcome it is to stop ****.

    Also, sometimes it's to do with wanting to please your partner too much -

    Remember (and you could also say this to your partner) that it's more about the journey than the destination... so make sure to let her know that you enjoy all the stuff you do sex wise but that sometimes you just don't cum.... and that that is no reflection on her.

    The more pressure you start to put on yourself, the less you'll enjoy the foreplay and everything that comes before cumming.

    I always found that by not **** for days on end I'd be almost prepped to cum.... give it a go.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    i totally agree with the poster above. my boyfriend was single for years and obviously masturbated in this time and it was a few months before he came when with me but once he did he was grand and he came every time then.

    Its something that will happen in time. I really dont think its a condition at all and you WILL finish as you wish soon enough but stop masturbating too. Get out of that habit for the next while at least and enjoy making love with your girlfriend.

    and just enjoy all the stuff before hand too. I don't think people do enough foreplay at all and from a womans point of view, thats so important and we're so sensitive all over that you can spends ages on every part of our bodies ! don't worry, just enjoy.


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