My GF keeps calling me a fag!!

Tender Hoop

My GF is cool, a bit childish at times and still uses the school yard tease of 'your such a fag'. Now I'm not really bothered because I'm secure in my sexuality but ti has made me think about allot of things. I think its pretty childish for a 26yr girl to be using such terms.

We are talking allot about settling down and having kids and stuff but I'm really starting to think about our future together. Its not just the fag thing. We seem to be total opposites in so many ways.

I like reading and current affairs, she doesn't read books and is into celebrity gossip crap.
Her family are right wing religious bill cullen types, my family are left wing academic types.

The list goes on....

The question is do you think people who have totally different interests and background can be happy together or should one look for some who they have allot in common with?

ARGINITE

Next time she says it tell her to take the sand out of her vag

Are you happy with her?

Tender Hoop

Yes there is so much that is cool about her. I guess that i just hoped I would bring up my kids in the same sort of home I was brought up in, same influences. ... That will not be the case with her.. She does not have a high regard for education and is very materialistic.

I love her, she loves me but.....

vandriver

Tender Hoop wrote: »

Yes there is so much that is cool about her. I guess that i just hoped I would bring up my kids in the same sort of home I was brought up in, same influences. ... That will not be the case with her.. She does not have a high regard for education and is very materialistic.

I love her, she loves me but.....

You know what to do.

Marty McFly

By posting on here looking for people opinions, I think youve already answered your own question .

I Was VB

less of this

DrG

nevaeh-2die-4

and this too.....


DrG

Dr Galen

wtf......

seriously, while this ain't PI/RI i'm surprised at some of the responses here so far. This is tGC, and as such, we expect a certain standard to be upheld. Please, no more of the smart ass answers people.

OP - are specifically looking for a gents take on this? I think you might be more rounded answers over on relationship issues tbh. I can move the thread there if you want, just let me know.

Cheers

DrG

enda1

If you've had a happy childhood and came from a good family, it's natural to aspire to provide the same kind of environment for your children.

However, its probably more healthy to create an environment influenced by both of your characters, the best of both worlds and provide this hybrid environment which contains books and magazines, religion and atheism, and a contrast in politics, thereby giving your children a fuller spectrum of choices to choose from rather than breeding them with your ideals (which to you are correct but are not fundamentally correct).

Regarding the character of the person you are with, surely this only you can decide whether you are comfortable or not with. From my perspective, I think it is better going out with someone you are not so traditionally compatible with, they can open your eyes to so many new things and experiences, and visa versa. But again that's up to you.

Good luck with the decisions OP.

And why ask us, and not her ?

CDfm

calling someone a fag is very juvenile like a teenager saying you've got the ghey.

nothing really to worry about except youve got different ways of expressing yourselves and cultural reference points.teasing is part of relationships too.

i imagine she also sees things black and white about earning money.

it may be good for you to have someone grounded and down to earth

not something i would worry about

Tender Hoop

Dr Galen wrote: »

OP - are specifically looking for a gents take on this? I think you might be more rounded answers over on relationship issues tbh. I can move the thread there if you want, just let me know.

Cheers

DrG

I have a three month ban from PI.

Fago!

Talk to her about it.

m@cc@

Well, my ex used to say 'you're the gayest straight man I know' which I always laughed off because I kinda agreed. There's something offensive about calling your OH a 'fag' imo. Maybe there is no difference, I dunno.

syklops

So your kind of like Ross out of Friends and she is Rachel. Would that be a fair representation?

Now no-one on here can tell you what to do, and obviously we dont know the girl in question, however, I have 2 opinions on the subject.

1. Thanks to our over exposure to the media, we are being conditioned into believing that the perfect person is out there somewhere. Various television shows have characters who have strings of relationships that dont work out because the other person wasnt perfect. The reality is it is actually very difficult to meet people in the same age bracket who have the same frame of mind, who want the same things as you who are also attracted to you and who you are attracted to aswell. And it only gets harder the older you get. So I think you are pretty lucky to find and be with someone who ticks all the boxes so far. All thats wrong is she is into fashion and gossip and she is a bit childish. It could be worse.

2. My other opinion is kind of the flipside of number 1. Life and mariage is full of hurdles, conflict, and difficulties. The best way in my opinion to overcome these various problems is effective conflict resolution. Both partners must be able to resolve difficulties with each other, otherwise, bitterness sets in and things go off the rails. If your girlfriends idea of conflict resolution is to call you a fag, then I can see problems occuring in the future. In a heated discussion your impulse would be to turn around and say "Stop being so childish" which could lead onto a more heated argument.

If you want to be with her, talk to her about her childishness. Explain why it annoys you and see what she says. If she takes the criticism on board in a mature way and looks for help in changing then you have a keeper. If she throws throws her toys out of the pram and turns hostile, then I would be saying bye bye.

CDfm

Some very amusing comments.

There are worse things to be called than a fag by a girlfriend and depending on her background it could be her version of "wuss".So your middle class pc sensitivities are hurt.

So she probably means you come across as sensitive and gentle- in the same way someone might say you drive like a granny.

One day my g/f and I went in to meet a friend of hers in Lush , a very girlie cosmetics place, yours truly got into it and got deep clensed by a very nice lady with a charcoal and cane sugar based exfolient for men called Dark Angel and came out of the place with free gifts. One of her friends met me for the first time while I was declining cocoa butter moisturoiser.

I am totally straight and I imagine even Old Goat would have a tough time beating that on the Metrosexual Meter.

I imagine its time to go to the pound shop and buy a few bottles of Old Spice.

OldGoat

CDfm wrote: »

I imagine even Old Goat would have a tough time beating that on the Metrosexual Meter.

:eek: Damn, I've lost my BanHammer.




I got offered a manicure in town on Saturday morning.

CDfm

OldGoat wrote: »

I got offered a manicure in town on Saturday morning.

green with envy. Did you take it?

sam34

sugar high, please read the charter and the in-thread moderator warnings

post deleted and poster banned

Otis Driftwood

If it bothers you then tell her it bothers you mate.She probably doesnt mean anything by it but feck it,you shouldnt have to listen to it if it does.

Try calling her fatass or something like that,she wouldnt be long setting you straight.(pardon the pun )

CDfm

I was thanking the pun not encouraging any bad behaviour by the OP.

Ned you are being quite restrained there