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help for college friend

  • 08-05-2010 9:16pm
    #1
    student2010
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 57 ✭✭


    Hi all, just looking for some advice on a friend in college.
    he's a mature student about 24 or 25 i'm not sure and he seems to be finding it hard to make friends, settle in etc..
    we're coming to the end of our first year and i've just been observing him throughout the year and he appears to be a bit of a loner, which is worrying.
    I'm worried for him as everyone else seems to have found or made friends to hang out with.
    We've tried to include him in conversations, nights out etc.. but it's a bit awkward really for us and him.
    we're all 18-20 and i know it's not a huge gap but he probably feels it is in a way.
    any advice on how to make life easier for him. he really seems like a nice guy too, that's the horrible part, i think he just might be a bit shy.
    i don't know why i'm even writing this because i don't know what i will try and do to help.
    any suggestions??


Comments

  • #2
    up for anything
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,779 ✭✭✭up for anything


    He may not be interested in a social life in college exactly because he is a mature student. Could it be that he feels the need to put all his energies into his study. The things that you still find exciting and novel at your age could be 'been there, done that' for him.

    Have you tried speaking to him about your concerns? Maybe you will find that you are worrying for nothing.


  • #3
    student2010
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 57 ✭✭student2010


    hi, yeah that's true, i suppose he just might not be into socialising, but i'm alking about general chit chat and hanging about while in college, it's just not nice to see someone hanging around on their own all the time, i just have a feeling that he would like to fit in a bit more


  • #4
    PrinceMax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 129 ✭✭PrinceMax


    He probably just isn't very social. I can't see how anyone would regard that age gap as a huge gap. Is he the only mature student? Does he talk to any others?


  • #5
    greenprincess
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 309 ✭✭greenprincess


    Jus try and be nice to him. It isnt a big age gap as such. But I'm 22 and ping pong ball 18 yr old first yrs at uni would really annoy me! They can be really annoying as they are for the most part away from home for the first time.
    Invite him to lunch etc and if he wants to be friends he will go


  • #6
    student2010
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 57 ✭✭student2010


    hi, thanks for the replies, maybe i'll ask him to come to lunch with us or maybe for a few drink, although i can see what you mean when you say 18-19 year olds can be annoying, tough situation really, there are three other matures in the class but they are 40+, he does talk to people just doesn't have any definite friends thats all, again i feel sorry for him and feel like i or we could do something to improve the situation


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