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Think my Dad drinks too much

  • 08-05-2010 5:06pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey all,

    Well Im 20, still living at home and Im worried about my Dad. He has always been fond of drinking, especially when I was younger.

    He did about 2 years with AA when I was 12, he wasn't that bad by any means, it didn't really affect family life or his work (not that I could see at the time anyway) but he would stop into the pub most nights, drink at the weekends that kind of thing. He did really well, was off it completely, until my grandad died, and to cope he went back to drinking.

    He's not as bad as he was, but he drinks EVERY night. Mabye 3 or 4 cans of beer. At home mostly but sometimes he'll stop off in the pub and won't even tell my Mum about it, or call to let her know.
    I'm just wondering is this something to be worried about?

    I don't get on with him too well, if I said it to him it would end in an argument as we're both very head strong. My Mum is the opposite and won't say anything just to "keep the peace".

    What do you guys think?

    Thanks for reading!


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    To be honest, 3 or 4 cans a night that doesn't affect his work and has little or no effect on his family (at least as far as he can see, since you haven't brought it up), would no be seen as problem drinking.

    If it's having a real effect on your relationship with him, mention it, it's the only thing you can do.

    He may never miss a drink, but ask yourself, does he ever miss work? Do you have to ever go hungry because of his drinking?

    Im my opinion, I wouldn't consider him a problem drinker, because what you have described doesn't seem to have negative effects on his life. You may just percieve drinking everynight as a problem. I don't think it's a problem unless it actually causes problems.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the reply!

    I guess it's not affecting our family life as such, but I know my mum doesn't like it. She would never say it though.

    I know it could be alot worse, I just think in terms of his general health as well, having around 22 cans a week can't be good for him.

    I guess I just can't help but think do other people do that? Drink every night? I probably am just over reacting!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Thanks for the reply!

    I guess it's not affecting our family life as such, but I know my mum doesn't like it. She would never say it though.

    I know it could be alot worse, I just think in terms of his general health as well, having around 22 cans a week can't be good for him.

    I guess I just can't help but think do other people do that? Drink every night? I probably am just over reacting!

    If your mam doesn't like it, then it is affecting her, she should really speak to him about it, just in a calm manner really, asking him to cut back, stay in a couple of nights, or even bring her out.

    The maximum recommended units per week thing, has been said to be made up, alcohol is actually good for your health, and I don't think 22 cans a week would be too much, but that is purely opinion. I have at times gone through that in a night...though coming out worse for wear of course.

    You are in Ireland, there are THOUSANDS of people who drink every night. But what your father does seems to be have a few cans to just relax, he doesn't get absolutely pissed like a large number of people in this country. I know a few raving alcoholics, real problem drinkers who cannot function without their drink. I have to say, your dad doesn't sound like any of them.

    Best of luck however the situation works out. If you are worried about it, then do talk to him, or even your GP, ask do they think that amount a week poses a major health risk.

    Good luck! :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,430 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    Can't see much wrong with that OP. My father drinks about the same every night, purely because he just likes drink. Always has. He doesn't effect his work life or anything else for that matter. He has a few cans while watching tele or reading the paper/book. It's his way of relaxing. Can't see it being the best for your health thou.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Is he defensive about it? How does he cope if for some reason he is not able to have his 3 or 4 cans? Do you and your mum talk about it? Does his personality change?

    I grew up with an alcoholic father so from what you describe I see the early warning signs there. However, it may never develop further. Does he ever actually get pissed or just has the 3 or 4 cans?


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