What would you do? Advice needed

kingkev26

My first post on this and taught i would be able to move on but its driving me mad that i really dont know what to do all advice would be a great help please.ok here goes.I was going out with a girl for too years and it had alot up and downs.she cheated on her last partner with me and then left him for me i was delighted i taught great but she didnt take the break up with him great and went off the rails and we even went to a night club and she was out dancing rubing up against 3 lads one lad had he hands all over her while i was their drinking i got so thick but she could not understand why we left it at that and went home.ok to cut it short it was coming up to a year and half together and i went to her house that was grand and then she asked me would i drop her to the train station early as she was meeting one the girls to go to a theme park i said ok but it sounded strange to me i knew her inside out and something easnt right.next moring bringing her to the train station i asked her was she really going she said yes she was and got very thick.so dropped her off she was wearing knee high boots leggins and wolly top that just coverd her arse.so that was that then she rang me bout half 3 asking me would i collect her bout 45o when the next train was in i said grand and she said then she would ring me when she was their now i often picked her up their and she never rings me when their cause i always be their early so i knew something wasnt right so i went down at 435 instead just to get their early and see was their anyting strange and guess What she was their alreadly i got so thick and asked her what was going on and she said train was early and left i knew that wasnt right as train cant leave early but she swore to god and even showed me the ticket to dublin i took it and put it in my pocket so we left it at that but the whole way dropping her home she kept saying i cant belive u did that and taught i was somewhere elese.dropped her home and i went home next day throwning ticket in bin i noticed the return on it wasnt maked hmmmm intresting rang train station and they told me it was on time and would never be allowed leave early.so rang her told her all this and she said she had to go to court but was afraid to tell me in knee high boots wooly top up to her arse.i left it again and she came around few days later and was texting all day on her phone and wouldnt leave it alone checking it every five mins was driving me mad she went to toilet she brought it with her she went for a walk up town for some cigs came back and we went to bed i woke up while she was sleep and i looked threw her phone records on net i know i shouldnt have but was doing my nut in and saw a number being rang loads of times and texted a loads of times even at 3 in the mor and pic messages at that time to.i was Shocked and Angry i saved the number told her the next day what i did as im a honest person and she dumped me straight away.that was that really liked the girl and have being really ****ed around before by another girl i said it couldnt be happening again.the number was really annoying me she had to me it was Here friend called pat but i knew his number i rang it and said hello pat and he hung up i said it couldnt be him she kept saying it was it was that im a idiot for thinking any diff that i may cop on to leave her alone all this we are over bout 3 months now but too weeks ago i found out who the number was and im so so angry its a married man over 35 and shes under 30 i confroted her bout it and she said she was afraid to tell me this man had made a move on her twice before and they were just friends but that doesnt sound right at all not one bit their was a phone call to him on the day of the train satation too So what do i do folks its driving me mad ruining my sleep cant belive someone could do this again to me Hurts alot i dont take rejection well and cant seem to move On at all Really really was mad bout this girl as u see by the mount of chances i gave her.And as for the old married man Do i go visit him and have words with him do i go tell his wifewat was going on but she has 3 chrilden and was pregant when this was going on. he was texting me when me and the girl broke up taking the piss out of me and saying he was bringing her out drinking and they were gonna have a great time SORRY bout it being so so long but it is driving me mad and would really love some advice please and thank you

LegacyUser

You do nothing but move on from this girl. Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. She cheated with you. She has now cheated on you.
These are the risks you take when you start a relationship with someone who is already with someone. You will never trust that person, knowing they cheated on their previous partner with you.
Unless I read it wrong, it seems you have already dumped her?
Forget her, move on and learn from this experience.
Best of luck OP.

Miss Fluff

I think more people will reply to you if you go back and put punctuation and paragraphs in your post - it was virtually impossible to read.

I think you have just had really rotten luck in the choices you have made. You just have to picky yourself up and dust yourself off. Have nothing more to do with this girl. As for telling the wife of the guy she is involved with? Why bother? You really have very little to gain from it. Have nothing more to do with either of them. Sounds like a cliche, but time is a great healer. Kepp yourself busy with family and friends and keep yourself occupied to take your mind off it.

LegacyUser

wow thats real hard luck op.
normally I wouldnt do this but seems he had the neck to laud you I would tell his wife and show her the texts.

whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

Monkey61

Okay so to summarise for everyone....

You met a girl who had a boyfriend. She cheated on this boyfriend with you and then you got together. She took the break-up badly and started throwing herself at guys in clubs in front of you and didn't understand why you were upset.

18 months later - She asked you for a lift to the train station as she was going to a theme park with a friend in Dublin. You were suspicious as she was dressed inappropriately. She asked you to pick her up at 4.50 and said she would ring you when she was in. This was unusual for her as she doesn't usually ring to confirm and you turn up early anyway. You arrived early anyway and she was already there so you thought there must be something suspicious going on.

You launched a Sherlock Holmes like investigation into this, taking her ticket, questioning her repeatedly and even ringing the station the next day to ask what time the train arrived at. You were told it wasn't early. Confronted with the evidence she said that she had actually been in court which you didn't believe due to her clothes.

A few days later she was texting constantly at your house, so while she slept you checked her phone records and found a lot of mysterious calls. You told her the next day and she dumped you. She said the number belonged to her friend Pat, but it didn't.

Two weeks ago you found out the number belonged to a married father of 3 kids. She said now that it was just some guy that was hitting on her. But he has been texting you trying to wind you up, you are distraught because she cheated on you and you want to know if you should tell his wife.

Monkey61

Look man, it sucks that she was cheating on you, but you really should have seen this coming from the way she behaved at the start with the touching up guys in front of you. I don't subscribe to this...once a cheater stuff, but she really did not give you any impression that she has changed.

I'd be inclined to leave them to it. I don't really understand why this man was texting you, considering he is married and whatnot, but god knows what she was saying to him.

Move on. Ignore them and get on with your own life. Let this be a very valuable lesson in the importance of trust in a relationship. She didn't give you any reason to trust her. You didn't trust her and wasted a lot of mental energy trying to catch her out in her bad behaviour when really it was obvious from the start that something wasn't right.

C_J

Do nothing. Leave them to it. Ever hear karma is a bitch?:)they'll get their comeuppance at some stage! By the sounds of it, this other guy's wife is going to find out soon enough anyways if he's so indiscreet as to be txting you. Block his number, delete hers and concentrate on sorting your own head out.

LegacyUser

if i were u id print all the call info and get everything together and meet the wife someplace and let her know whats going on. its only fair that she knows too,then leave it up to her to do what she wants.

As for u id be thankful that u found out and at least u cant go try be happy with someone else when ur ready. it wouldnt do any harm to get checked for std's ,if ur girlfriend was sleeping with both of ye.

Your hurting now but its nothing compared to the hurt ud be if ye were married and had house/kids etc,at least u can walk away now and find some one who deserves to be loved and will love u back.

lillywhite1

Listen man, sounds like you got a raw deal here. You are going to have move on though it will take you a while but you would be wasting your time having any more to do with her.

It will be tough but you will get over her. Try and talk some friends about it cause the worst thing you can do is bottle it in.

And as far as the wife goes it is not up to you to tell her what was happening. Remember they have kids and you dont know what kind of trouble you could start for the kids and the wife.

Good luck!

LegacyUser

If your partner was cheating would you like to know about it??
I for one would, and would appretiate someone telling me.

Wagon

kingkev26 wrote: »

he was texting me when me and the girl broke up taking the piss out of me and saying he was bringing her out drinking and they were gonna have a great time SORRY

Get in touch with his wife and tell her everything. That ****ing prick was bad enough to be cheating on her and his family but ringing and taking the piss out of you after all this pretty much gives you free reign to do what you like. People might say don't stoop to his level but honestly, how can you possibly go that low? You didn't cheat on anyone and hurt anyone. Trust me, lads like that need to get an almighty kick up the hole and in this case i really recommend being the one to do it if you want to.

You'll be doing a good thing because im 100% certain that his wife has absolutely no idea and she deserves to know who she's with.