Can't kiss my GF anymore - help!

LegacyUser

Myself and my gf had a discussion about sex the other night and all was going well until she told me that she has when giving her previous bf's oral sex 'swallowed' which I was shocked at because I didnt think she was into doing that but now since she told me I can't bring myself to kiss her as the thoughts of what she has had in her mouth is stopping me !.Is there anything I can do to over come this as it's killing me .

slowmoe

seriously???

grow up! do you really think that every girl you meet will never have given oral sex or had sex? YOu sound like you feel she is unclean??? Or if she has come to your bed still covered in cum or something? You're treating her like she's filthy. How many women have you touched before her??? How would you feel if she couldn't touch you anymore because she saw you as disgusting????

Miss Fluff

Grow up

Wagon

Im quite sure she has brushed her teeth at least once since then so dont be worrying. and always remember it could be worse, you could be going out with a few of my exs. "I remember this one time i couldnt even remember the guys name". Or the other, "i lost my virinity on a pool table". But that doesnt stop me from playing pool.

Only thing you can do is to remove it from your mind, takes a bit of work but it will eventualy pass. And remember, never discuss things you did before with a girlfriend. Best leave that one well alone.

LegacyUser

If it disgusts you that much, break it off with her. Otherwise you're just going to have to suck it up, so to speak

krudler

Have you ever given another girl oral? what if she told you she wouldnt kiss you because you've had your mouth in another girls junk?

muinteoir09

As has been said, you need to grow up. Do you not shake hands with people because they may have had some finger fun with their girlfriend that day?

Does your girlfriend swallow your cum? If she did, would you feel weird kissing her after that? The past is the past, you can't change it.

davyjose

Listen mate, it's not too uncommon, so unless you intend on being alone forever, or having some very awkward first-date conversations, deal with it.

Contessa Raven

Wow.

That is a really immature attitude to have. I mean, she's given another guy oral sex and had their bodily fluids in her mouth and you can't kiss her? Can you kiss her knowing that she's had other mens saliva in her mouth?

You do know that a person's mouth has alot more bacteria and germs than their genitals, right?

Seriously, you need to think about this logically, most women will have had another man's fluids in their mouths at some stage (unless they're virgin's and whatnot) and not because of swallowing. Pre-ejaculate is semen and it goes in our mouths no matter whether we spit or swallow.

Just something to think about, OP.

CR

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice , as I said it's not something that I am deliberately choosing to do but as suggested in some replies I'm trying to just forget about it and put it out of my mind as best I can.

bigjohnny80

Yeah just forget about it man.

Everyone is entitled to a past and to do whatever they want with whoever.

dollybird2

Seriously forget about it or you'll wreck your relationship.

sickofwaiting

OP this is actually a positive thing in case you haven't realised it.

LegacyUser

sickofwaiting wrote: »

OP this is actually a positive thing in case you haven't realised it.

How so ?

LegacyUser

Can't kiss her wrote: »

How so ?

She'll swallow for you

OP I really cant believe you have a problem with this. Every girl I've ever received oral off has swallowed except for my current girlfriend funnily enough. Its extremely common and if you honestly have a problem with that simple fact then I'd say you should avoid asking her about her past as its extremely likely shes done much, much more 'questionable' things than that with other partners.

NUTZZ

sickofwaiting wrote: »

OP this is actually a positive thing in case you haven't realised it.

Can't kiss her wrote: »

How so ?

I can hear that penny dropping!:pac:

damienmcd

sickofwaiting wrote: »

OP this is actually a positive thing in case you haven't realised it.

+1

Re-attach your balls and get over it!

Xiney

damienmcd wrote: »

+1

Re-attach your balls and get over it!

be civil.

TheDieHardFan1

Jesus son you should be happy she has sexual experience.

Remember all those poor stupid Muslim bastards who blow themselves up so they can have 72 vrgins in the afterlife?

Who the f*ck wants to have sex with a virgin?

Virgins are sh*t at sex.

Zaph

TheDieHardFan1 banned for trolling

rediguana25

Zaph wrote: »

TheDieHardFan1 banned for trolling

What's trolling?

Nevyn

rediguana25 if you have a question about a mod action pm the mod rather then posting about it, as that is off topic and unhelpfulling posting which may get you banned from this forum.

Katgurl

I never understand why people put themselves through this cr@p. Op why were you discussig details of your girlfriend's sex life when you are clearly not cut out for her responses?

either find a way toforget this or leave her and do not make same mistake in previous relationship.

Dudess

slowmoe wrote: »

do you really think that every girl you meet will never have given oral sex or had sex?

In fairness, he didn't say that - he said specifically it's the swallowing which freaks him. OP, I'm surprised you're so shocked by it - did you think beforehand only women who are really "out there", sexually speaking, swallow?

BobbyOLeary

Dudess wrote: »

OP, I'm surprised you're so shocked by it - did you think beforehand only women who are really "out there", sexually speaking, swallow?

To be honest I think most guys are uncomfortable with the thought of their girlfriend swallowing for another man. It's kind of a thought you push to the back of your brain, it's not really that healthy to be thinking about it regularly.

I'm not really that surprised he's so shocked. I see it in some of my friends when we talk about women. They all want a girl who will do everything in the bedroom with them but has never done them before, if you get me? They want a freak in the sack essentially but want to make sure that they're the only ones who've been with her.

OP, I realise the thought is nasty but you'll have to face the fact that she's with you now and that's all that really matters. If you can't get over it leave her, she deserves someone who won't judge her over her past, which is pretty vanilla really.

LegacyUser

BobbyOLeary wrote: »

To be honest I think most guys are uncomfortable with the thought of their girlfriend swallowing for another man. It's kind of a thought you push to the back of your brain, it's not really that healthy to be thinking about it regularly.

I'm not really that surprised he's so shocked. I see it in some of my friends when we talk about women. They all want a girl who will do everything in the bedroom with them but has never done them before, if you get me? They want a freak in the sack essentially but want to make sure that they're the only ones who've been with her.

OP, I realise the thought is nasty but you'll have to face the fact that she's with you now and that's all that really matters. If you can't get over it leave her, she deserves someone who won't judge her over her past, which is pretty vanilla really.

I'd understand if she had an orgy or a threesome with 2 men or something similar but in fairness swallowing is very common. You'd struggle to find any girls who haven't swallowed!

BobbyOLeary

unfaf wrote: »

I'd understand if she had a threesome with 2 men or something similar

Really? Why would this bother you? Unless she's still having them when she's with you :pac:

but in fairness swallowing is very common. You'd struggle to find any girls who haven't swallowed!

This is true but you WILL find many girls who don't do it regularly. I don't care personally but I know a good few who do. To be honest, and this isn't a dig, I find them equally as confusing as you with the threesome argument.

LegacyUser

BobbyOLeary wrote: »

Really? Why would this bother you? Unless she's still having them when she's with you :pac:



This is true but you WILL find many girls who don't do it regularly. I don't care personally but I know a good few who do. To be honest, and this isn't a dig, I find them equally as confusing as you with the threesome argument.

In the sense that a threesome with 2 men is essentially quite demeaning to a woman and there would be a sense of dread of ever coming across the man or men who experienced that with your girlfriend. I've double teamed a girl and can't say the girl comes out of the experience with any respect left! Whereas swallowing is a pretty common process of oral sex and not considered demeaning or something that means the girl is looked on as disrespected as it is so common and so apart of a popular sexual act.

carolmon

unfaf wrote: »

In the sense that a threesome with 2 men is essentially quite demeaning to a woman..........

I've double teamed a girl and can't say the girl comes out of the experience with any respect left!.

Why did the girl come out with no respect left?
Was is consensual or did you two coerce/pressure her into it?

If it was a consensual act/ something she wanted to try I don't understand how that adds up to a loss of self respect??
Can you elaborate?

LegacyUser

carolmon wrote: »

Why did the girl come out with no respect left?
Was is consensual or did you two coerce/pressure her into it?

If it was a consensual act/ something she wanted to try I don't understand how that adds up to a loss of self respect??
Can you elaborate?

Of course it was consensual but the fact was she came across as a slut that needed two guys and we treated her as such and after we joked about her amongst ourselves. A girl who partakes in a 3some with 2 guys is rightly or wrongly, viewed as a slutty type who cant get enough cock. I dont know any guy whose ever double teamed a girl that hasnt made jokes about it or a comment like "I feel sorry for the guy that marries her!"
Very different to the OP's experience which is normal and part of a common sexual act.

carolmon

unfaf wrote: »

Of course it was consensual but the fact was she came across as a slut that needed two guys and we treated her as such and after we joked about her amongst ourselves. A girl who partakes in a 3some with 2 guys is rightly or wrongly, viewed as a slutty type who cant get enough cock. I dont know any guy whose ever double teamed a girl that hasnt made jokes about it or a comment like "I feel sorry for the guy that marries her!"
Very different to the OP's experience which is normal and part of a common sexual act.

Do you hold the same opinion of a man who has a threesome with two women ie "he's a slut..........he can't get enough pussy...................I feel sorry for the woman who marries him" ?

LegacyUser

carolmon wrote: »

Do you hold the same opinion of a man who has a threesome with two women ie "he's a slut..........he can't get enough pussy...................I feel sorry for the woman who marries him" ?

Nope. But then again I hold women to a higher standard. I'm old fashioned in the sense that I expect women to have respect for themselves, allowing 2 guys to double team you isn't what I'd term as having respect for yourself.

Now compare this to swallowing cum. It's a sexual act and its normal. She did this with a one partner who she was going out with in the privacy of his or her home. This is not the same as a girl going out and taking 2 cocks for some fun and the OP shouldn't see it as that. The OP upset that she gave head and swallowed is on par with being upset that she had sex in a particular sexual position and is completely over the top.

LegacyUser

unfaf wrote: »

Nope. But then again I hold women to a higher standard. I'm old fashioned in the sense that I expect women to have respect for themselves, allowing 2 guys to double team you isn't what I'd term as having respect for yourself.

oh come on! What if it isnt 'allowing' but 'wanting'. I really find this attitude strange. Personally as a woman I find it much more appealing than a ffm threesome (theoretically).

And how is this relevant to the thread anyway?

OP, get over it, honestly.... and dont ask questions in future if you cant deal with the answers.

sexdwarf

unfaf wrote: »

Nope. But then again I hold women to a higher standard. I'm old fashioned in the sense that I expect women to have respect for themselves, allowing 2 guys to double team you isn't what I'd term as having respect for yourself.

:rolleyes: What a ridiculous double-standard

OP best thing to do is just try not to dwell on it. Everyone has a past and she's entitled to hers. Best not to ask these questions if you are going to be upset by the answers!

muinteoir09

unfaf wrote: »

Of course it was consensual but the fact was she came across as a slut that needed two guys and we treated her as such and after we joked about her amongst ourselves. A girl who partakes in a 3some with 2 guys is rightly or wrongly, viewed as a slutty type who cant get enough cock. I dont know any guy whose ever double teamed a girl that hasnt made jokes about it or a comment like "I feel sorry for the guy that marries her!"

This speaks volumes about your opinions and lack of respect for women. The very fact that you refer to the threesome as her being 'double teamed' is what degrades the girl involved, not her choice to engage consentually in the activity.

unfaf wrote: »

But then again I hold women to a higher standard. I'm old fashioned in the sense that I expect women to have respect for themselves, allowing 2 guys to double team you isn't what I'd term as having respect for yourself.

So the girl who wants to have a threesome loses respect but the men who (there's that word again) 'double team' her don't?? What utter nonsense. If you hold women to a higher standard why didn't you decline the opportunity and save her 'respect for herself'?

Karmafaerie

unfaf wrote: »

Of course it was consensual but the fact was she came across as a slut that needed two guys and we treated her as such and after we joked about her amongst ourselves. A girl who partakes in a 3some with 2 guys is rightly or wrongly, viewed as a slutty type who cant get enough cock. I dont know any guy whose ever double teamed a girl that hasnt made jokes about it or a comment like "I feel sorry for the guy that marries her!"
Very different to the OP's experience which is normal and part of a common sexual act.

The only thing that reflects badly about the girl you're mentioning seems to be her choice in partners in this instance.

Silverfish

This is wandering off-topic.

Can we please deal with the OP's issue, thanks.

Dudess

unfaf wrote: »

Of course it was consensual but the fact was she came across as a slut that needed two guys and we treated her as such and after we joked about her amongst ourselves. A girl who partakes in a 3some with 2 guys is rightly or wrongly, viewed as a slutty type who cant get enough cock. I dont know any guy whose ever double teamed a girl that hasnt made jokes about it or a comment like "I feel sorry for the guy that marries her!"

That is really, really horrible and depressing - do you really think it's ok for you to think along those lines?

unfaf wrote: »

Nope. But then again I hold women to a higher standard. I'm old fashioned in the sense that I expect women to have respect for themselves, allowing 2 guys to double team you isn't what I'd term as having respect for yourself.

You're "old fashioned" yet you yourself took part in this "degrading" of her...?
And if it was consensual, then she wasn't degraded.

OP, the way you're thinking is shaped by views like the above - "She must be pure but I can do whatever I want to her, even if I think it's degrading" which is pretty scarily misogynistic thinking.
Could you maybe try to change your thinking to account for the fact that many women genuinely enjoy being adventurous sexually and if that's how they're wired, that's how they're wired? Better than suppressing it.

LegacyUser

Dudess wrote: »

That is really, really horrible and depressing - do you really think it's ok for you to think along those lines?

You're "old fashioned" yet you yourself took part in this "degrading" of her...?
And if it was consensual, then she wasn't degraded.

OP, the way you're thinking is shaped by views like the above - "She must be pure but I can do whatever I want to her, even if I think it's degrading" which is pretty scarily misogynistic thinking.
Could you maybe try to change your thinking to account for the fact that many women genuinely enjoy being adventurous sexually and if that's how they're wired, that's how they're wired? Better than suppressing it.

Look we're going off topic my point was that the OP's girlfriend swallowing during oral sex isn't as 'adventerous' as a threesome with 2 guys. Agreed?

I made the point of a threesome with 2 guys because I feel that the OP is overreacting for the reason that what she did with her ex she did in the privacy of her own home and it was purely between them. This isn't the same as doing it in front of more than one person, it isn't out of the ordinary. It is incredibly ordinary.

OP I understand where you're coming from. I think if any guy is honest then they don't want a potential wife to have a questionable history. I suppose the main problem is the shame of ever coming across the men that experienced this with your wife and in that regard I think men put a HELL of a lot more significance on this than women. I can honestly say that if my girlfriend had orgies in her past or anything similar I'd walk. (Oddly she she had a threesome with a guy and a girl but it didn't bother me the same)
BUT
Swallowing cum is a questionable history. AT ALL. its very normal. Move on.

username123

Its just scary to think that people who are physically mature to engage in sexual acts, oral, threesomes etc.. are not emotionally mature enough to view what they do or what their partner has done with a degree of respect.

OP - if you cant handle the idea of your GFs oral behaviour with ex's then dont ask her about it, stop thinking about it, and perhaps try and reflect upon the fact that you yourself have sexual experience - would you expect any woman you are ever with to now be disgusted by your sexual experiences?

The guy who thinks a woman who has a mmf threesome has no respect for herself and cant see the double standard in his comparison with ffm threesomes. Well thats just ridiculous and screams someone who is not mature enough to be engaging in those sort of sexual practices.
I would suggest you stop engaging in sexual activity with anyone, until you can start respecting the people you have sex with.

carolmon

unfaf wrote: »

(Oddly she she had a threesome with a guy and a girl but it didn't bother me the same)
.

no surprise there, once it's a man being pleasured by two women that's cool, but a woman being pleasured by two men..................well that's just too much for you to get your head around

Karmafaerie

OP, there's been lots of great (and some questionable) advice in here.

The simple fact is that this isn't something that should bother you.
It's something that most women will have done, so any relationship you get into, will have the same "problems" for you.

I've never had a problem with my ex girlfriends having a past.
In fact, while again it wouldn't be a problem for me in anyway, finding out a girl I was seeing didn't have a varied sexual past would be stranger for me.


Judging from your original post, I'm guessing that your girlfriend has never swallowed with you.
Maybe in telling you this, your girlfriend was letting you know that she's open to the idea.
It's not the kind of thing that you bring up in conversation during the adds in Home and Away like!
If it's something that she's happy with, and something that you're up for, maybe ye should go for it yourself.
Seeing that it's nothing taboo might bring you around from your worries.

If however this isn't something that you want to do with your girlfriend, then TBH it looks like the issue lies with you my friend!

Insulting_Bitch

unfaf wrote: »

the fact was she came across as a slut that needed two guys and we treated her as such and after we joked about her amongst ourselves. A girl who partakes in a 3some with 2 guys is rightly or wrongly, viewed as a slutty type who cant get enough cock.

Maybe the two of ye were that dire in the sack that put together ye made one decent ride.

The Recliner

Insulting_Bitch wrote: »

Maybe the two of ye were that dire in the sack that put together ye made one decent ride.

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