would you just leave?

LegacyUser

I'm working for my dad in a construction based company. Times are hard. We’ve let more guys go this week. There is a lot stress and worry right across the board.

Generally, I’m vastly underpaid for what I do. I do and excellent job and my efficiencies and systems have reinvigorated a side of our business that was ailing badly. I have always gone above and beyond.

Last week I had a big row with my dad and ended up storming off. In front of witnesses, he verbally attacked me. He was very loud, public, unreasonable and humiliating in his over-criticism. He's blaming me for things that are suppliers fault (I have proof. In fact, he’d signed off the orders in question). He's making mountains out of work-a-day errors to justify his misbehavior.

Everything we do is bespoke and variations are infinite. Nevertheless, my errors never have a monetary consequence. Having worked elsewhere in the industry, we as a company, make a fraction of the errors of our competitors. Aside from schedules being affected here and there, it’s of little consequence usually. This has and always will be the nature of our business and he, as well everyone else at management level, will and do make similar errors on a varyingly regular basis. It’s virtually unavoidable in our business- we are at the mercy of others schedules far more than other disciplines. Customer service remains exceptionally high. That doesn’t stop him giving me an almost completely undeserved, extra hard clip round the ear because I'm his son and when I, quite rightly IMO, calmly stand my ground, he's threatening to fire me for gross insubordination.

He has a long history of this behavior and similar rows. In fact, the only reason he’s ended running his own company was because he was forced to leave his long-term, top management job over a mass complaint over his Machiavellian inter-personal skills.

For the second week in a row, here I am, shaking with anger over my special treatment because of his narcissistic bullying while only trying to operate within his ever-changing parameters and being publically bollocked over my trivial mistakes or others trivial mistakes.

What am I supposed to do? I would have left a long time ago if it weren’t for the economy. I can’t take it anymore.

Thanks for reading.

doolox

It sounds as if your company is in trouble and your father cannot take the stress of it and is taking it out on you because he can.

I was in a similar situation 30 years ago and didn't find peace until I got my own job my own way and on my own terms.

The kicker is that you are learning bad ways of operating work relationships and may come to view your destructive work relationship as "normal". It is most certainly not.

The danger in the future is that if you get a job elsewhere you may set yourself up as an easy victim for other bullies in the workplace who seem to have an eerie skill in picking out former victims and using them to their own advantage.

You are also setting yourself up for future mental and physical health problems if you stay in a destructive relationship, in the long term your mind and body will not stick it.

You will earn more respect from your Dad by cutting out now and starting up on your own and letting your work community know the reason why. Your fellow workers are probably wondering when this will happen and wondering why you are taking the abuse for so long.

LegacyUser

Hey OP. That's very tough. I know it's not helpful, but I've a rule for myself. Family goes on one side....work on the other. And never the 2 shall meet.
Try and find yourself another job. I'm construction based aswell, I know what it's like. Is it possible for you to look outside the industry (what's your qualification in?). If your dad has had previous problems with his behaviour then he's unlikely to change. And he's behaving that way towards you because he can. It does show a serious lack of respect on his part for you, I might add.