Friend threatening suicide - far away

LegacyUser

Hi all,

just need to get some help, and opinions - I got a phone call from a friend in Oz last night - her husband died suddenly, and now she is determined to take her own life as well, since she has nothing to live for (her words). This is not a superficial cry for help, this was a phone call to say goodbye, pretty much. I am the only one who knows about this (because I am far away, and thus pretty 'safe' with the knowledge, that's why she told me) - and at a complete loss what to do. I tried to talk her out of it, but she is really determined - she has it all planned, and I am pretty sure she will go through with it.

What can I do? I am here, I can't fly over in a hurry, and since she's moved around a bit, I don't know who to contact for help - I don't know any of her current friends, don't know her family, and am extremely worried she will do this soon.

I feel extremely powerless, helpless, and am very worried.
Help!

jelly&icecream

God that's awful.

Is your friend Irish originally. Do you know what part of the country she's from if she is? It might be worth a try going into your local garda station and explaining the situation. There maybe some chance they can get in contact with her family if you give them her full name and some information about her.

Maybe an Irish embassy in Australia might be another idea? Does she have an account on any social networking sites? That might be a way of narrowing down her whereabouts.

I'm just throwing out random ideas tbh but anything is worth a try at this point. My heart goes out too you.

Edit: Just another thought, maybe contact the consular section of the department of foreign affairs
http://www.dfa.ie/home/index.aspx?id=301

LegacyUser

cheers for your reply, appreciate it.

No, she's Australian...I know where she is place-wise, but since she's moved a couple of times, I lost touch with any of her social network. She's not on facebook or anywhere, and not working, either...

I am in contact with her, but I can't 'warn' anyone close enough to her to do anything about it...Short of calling the police (I am not sure how the Australian police are with these things, I know the guards are not great with that sort of thing), I feel I can't do anything.

up for anything

If you are that sure that she is going to do it, you need to try something. If you feel the police wouldn't be much use, go to your local parish priest. He'd surely have an opposite number in her area and they wouldn't have any qualms about interfering.

If you know the names of any of her contacts - google them. It might take a bit of dectective work but you'd surely find them on FB and suchlike.

tenchi-fan

A few people I know threatened to commit suicide. I find they drag you down and when they're feeling better you're still feeling down.

the last guy, i decided to tell him to phone some one else. He did. They he went to bed and fell asleep, while his friend ended up with a bill because she accidentally gave the gardai the wrong address and they broke someone else's door down.

The_Conductor

I'm not sure if its appropriate- but the Samaritans are great, and are very active in Australia.

http://www.thesamaritans.org.au/

It would be very unusual for someone else to contact them on behalf of someone they were worried about- but not unheard of? Perhaps they might take a proactive approach to contacting your friend and trying to be an emotional support for her?

jelly&icecream

Short of getting in contact with the police over there I can't think of a huge lot you can do. It's a huge burden she's placed on you.

You really need someone in Australia to liaise with and if you can't find someway of contacting a friend or family member of hers or maybe of her deceased husbands then thats going to be difficult.

barbiegirl

I'm not usually a big advocate of the church, but in this case I do think you're parish priest can contact hers, and if she's not of the same faith, it's fine, the Austrailian counterpart can make contact with the correct person, and hopefully call to her.
It is important that someone does. The network of the church can work to our advantage sometimes.
The police will undoubtedly be too busy and the Samaritans normally only react to call not make them, so this is the best bet I'm afraid.
It's very hard for her right now, also perhaps Google for a Widow and Widowers association in her geographical area, perhaps they could help with a call around.
Not saying any of this will work, or indeed that she hasn't changed her mind already, but at least you'll know you've tried.