Better Marriage (Fart) Blanket

m@cc@

http://industry.bnet.com/advertising/10006673/the-success-of-the-better-marriage-blanket-says-something-profound-about-american-consumers-but-what/

If you don’t know what “The Better Marriage Blanket” is, you will soon thanks to a 60-second direct response ad that’s gotten 1 million views since it was posted on YouTube March 31. It’s set to become this year’s Snuggie. There’s probably a link to the YouTube video (below) in an email from a coworker sitting in your inbox right now.

Although the mere existence of this campaign will have you snorting in derision, Permission Interactive is currently unable to keep up with demand:

Callers to the toll-free ordering number get a recording saying that because of the high volume of calls, orders must be placed online.
The phenomenon says something profound about the psyche of the American consumer. And the blanket’s $49.95 price — in addition to its improbable selling proposition — is a reminder to any new product manager that even the strangest idea can find a massive market in the U.S. if it’s cheap enough: You don’t need a massive TV and print budget if your video can grab an audience’s attention on its own merits.

There’s no good way to describe what the blanket does, so I’ll just quote the ad itself:

It’s the problem in the marriage bed that no one likes to talk about. Maybe that’s why they call it silent but deadly. Now there’s a solution to a very real problem.
On the inside it contains a layer of carbon activated fabric, the same type of fabric used by the military to protects against chemical weapons.
Offending molecules are absorbed before anyone knows they’re there.
… it makes a great wedding gift or anniversary gift too!

Let’s just make it clear that under no circumstances should you ever buy someone the BMB as a wedding gift. That said, what does this say about us, the consumers who are are viewing this ad and buying the product? The Snuggie was easy to diagnose: In a recession wracked, post-Sept. 11 world, we just wanted to stay home, curl up and keep warm.

The BMB is a little more difficult. I’m intrigued by the idea that the blanket isn’t for any old bed, but “the marriage bed.” The word “marriage” occurs six times in the ad, and of course it’s in the brand name. Singles need not apply! The product doth protest too much, insisting on its buttoned-up, conservative credentials despite its base nature. At the same time, the blanket purports to offer a military solution to a biological condition that’s causing a relationship problem.

The subtext seems to describe perfectly the way America currently deals with many of its problems: The military can fix anything. Even your marriage. Or your farts.

Would you be interested in one of these? Personally, I see farting in bed as the turning point of a relationship. When you reach that level of comfort that you can fart in bed without fear of her running for the door.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Dutch oven... nyom nyom :P

sponsoredwalk

Haha wont there come a time when it, absorbs too much

The_B_Man

The end of an era! No More can we men entertain ourselves in bed by using the tried and testing mating ritual known as the Dutch Oven! A sad day for men everywhere!

Topper Harley

"Offending molecules are absorbed before anyone knows they're there"... a nice way of saying "no one will know you farted."

*farts in bed* Eh, it was you.

TheZohanS

Do you wrap it around her head?

stovelid

m@cc@ wrote: »

When you reach that level of comfort that you can fart in bed without fear of her running for the door.

It's known as female abject desensitization syndrome.

monkeyfudge

Might as well go the whole hog and sh*t the bed if you have one of them.

admiralofthefleet

my girlfriend likes dutch ovens and is partial to a mexican breakfast every now and then

monkeyfudge

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

my girlfriend likes dutch ovens and is partial to a mexican breakfast every now and then

How does she feel about Cleveland Steamers?

Topper Harley

mexican breakfast

Cleveland Steamers

Care to elaborate?

admiralofthefleet

monkeyfudge wrote: »

How does she feel about Cleveland Steamers?

she likes one after a belgian biscuit

easyeason3

What's a Dutch Oven?

baaaa

Won't work unless you make her cover her mouth with the blanket and breath through it.

L.Jenkins

easyeason3 wrote: »

What's a Dutch Oven?

Fart in the bed after a night of drink then throw the duvet over your misses head, let simmer for 10 minutes.

smk89

Offending molecules are absorbed before anyone knows they’re there.

So where does the smell go then? Do you put it in the washing machine and the smells leak out leaving your clothes smelling like shít

bronte

m@cc@ wrote: »

Personally, I see farting in bed as the turning point of a relationship.

Yeah, I like to call it "breaking up"

mojesius

bronte wrote: »

Yeah, I like to call it "breaking up"

I agree. If anyone tried to pull a dutch oven or a mexican flag or whatever they're called on me, that would be the end of it. Taking pride in farting is just wrong.

Blobby George

mojesius wrote: »

I agree. If anyone tried to pull a dutch oven or a mexican flag or whatever they're called on me, that would be the end of it. Taking pride in farting is just wrong.

What if the farts are loud and odourless? Surely that's ok?

mojesius

Blobby George wrote: »

What if the farts are loud and odourless? Surely that's ok?

Yes, that would be fine. I have more of an issue with the SBDs. Do you fart loud and odourless often?

Blobby George

mojesius wrote: »

Yes, that would be fine. I have more of an issue with the SBDs. Do you fart loud and odourless often?

Only in the company of women.

Sykk

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Might as well go the whole hog and sh*t the bed if you have one of them.

Your avatar and sig freaks the shít out of me.

mojesius

Blobby George wrote: »

Only in the company of women.

You sound like a gifted farter.

admiralofthefleet

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Might as well go the whole hog and sh*t the bed if you have one of them.

a devils banquet

monkeyfudge

Sykk wrote: »

Your avatar and sig freaks the shít out of me.

That's Tree Trunks. A kindly old elephant who likes to bake apple pies from Adventure Time.

Erica<3

Can't say a guy that farts in bed has ever really put me off them, to be honest if anything it just shows how comfortable he is to do that and not fear that i'll make a massive deal out of it.

And we all do it, we're human, and if you were trapped in a hole you'd want to get out too!

Onesimus

its weird, farts seem to always be guaranteed to make you laugh.

Its the next best thing to prozac.:pac:

starbelgrade

I find that women are the worst offenders for farting in bed - they spend the whole day storing up the gases, thinking hoity-toitely that "Oh, ladies don't fart", then let the whole stinking lot out as soon as they fall asleep.

quicklickpaddy

bronte wrote: »

Yeah, I like to call it "breaking up"

Nah... If you Dutch Oven a girl she's officially your girlfriend. It's an initiation ceremony of sorts

peanuthead

I love Snuggies

MistyCheese

This is the most awe-inspiringly awesome invention in the known universe. I am off to buy a hundred of them.

bronte

quicklickpaddy wrote: »

Nah... If you Dutch Oven a girl she's officially your girlfriend. It's an initiation ceremony of sorts

No, no, no, one can become someones girlfriend without such a ceremony.
I have successfully proven so.
I don't even let male friends release gas around me, let alone boyfriends.
I couldn't be sexually attracted to someone who willingly does that around me. Not cool.

Abrasax

bronte wrote: »

No, no, no, one can become someones girlfriend without such a ceremony.
I have successfully proven so.
I don't even let male friends release gas around me, let alone boyfriends.
I couldn't be sexually attracted to someone who willingly does that around me. Not cool.

Not even at nighttime, in bed, unconscious?

bronte

Abrasax wrote: »

Not even at nighttime, in bed, unconscious?

No.

I could forgive if it was during a serious illness or something, but then I'd know twas true love.
Thou Shalt Not Fart. :mad:

Thou can make fart sounds though, because they're hilarious!

Abrasax

bronte wrote: »

No.

I could forgive if it was during a serious illness or something, but then I'd know twas true love.
Thou Shalt Not Fart. :mad:

Thou can make fart sounds though, because they're hilarious!

Your only hope is this guy.

quicklickpaddy

bronte wrote: »

No, no, no, one can become someones girlfriend without such a ceremony.
I have successfully proven so.
I don't even let male friends release gas around me, let alone boyfriends.
I couldn't be sexually attracted to someone who willingly does that around me. Not cool.

I have also successfully proven so... More than once! And quite the opposite from you... If I can't fart in front of a gal then she's not for me. Oh sure they protest at first, then it slowly but surely turns into acceptance. I'm waiting for the day that she can appreciate a good fart much like my guy friends. That will be the day I propose.

bronte

Nah, I've gotten the new one trained in.
Some men respond well to direction. :pac:

Abrasax

bronte wrote: »

Nah, I've gotten the new one trained in.
Some men respond well to direction. :pac:

Butt plug?

bronte

quicklickpaddy wrote: »

I have also successfully proven so... More than once! And quite the opposite from you... If I can't fart in front of a gal then she's not for me. Oh sure they protest at first, then it slowly but surely turns into acceptance. I'm waiting for the day that she can appreciate a good fart much like my guy friends. That will be the day I propose.

I suppose those are the two groups in the universe.

Those who fart in front of their other half and those who don't.

How would you feel if she let rip in front of you? Hot or not?

quicklickpaddy

bronte wrote: »

I suppose those are the two groups in the universe.

Those who fart in front of their other half and those who don't.

How would you feel if she let rip in front of you? Hot or not?

Not hot but it'd deserve a high 5.

Abrasax

bronte wrote: »

Hot or not?

Depends if she just ate a curry or not.

bronte

Abrasax wrote: »

Butt plug?

No, I think what stops him is knowing the consequences.
Which have been explained in detail. :eek:

bronte

Abrasax wrote: »

Depends if she just ate a curry or not.

Oh dear God! Yep, definitely the two groups in the universe , I reckon.

Eldel

It's been a while since I Dutch-ovened. Might do that in the morning . Does my marriage the power of good. And yes, I admit I laugh my head off when I think of farts. I've even been given a list of food to avoid, which sadly includes potatoes. Spare room for me..

dubtom

Whats the point of a blanket that removes the best part of a fart in the bed, the smell.I love it when I let rip and a few minutes later the smell reaches the OH. She woke up once it was so bad.:pac:

FlutterinBantam

Bacon and Cabbage is your man.... or Mexican...let her lie in the gut for an hour two and by 0200 you will have an arse hanging out like a red sock.


Lethal I tells ya.